"So, what are you going to do, son?"
“I don’t know. I guess I have to find out who this guy is and make sure he doesn’t want CJ. He didn’t want me, so it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?”
“We’ll keep CJ. I don’t think he should go with you. You should do this alone,” Mom said.
She was right, but I wish I could do this with Lisa. I haven't told her about any of this. She already felt guilty about missing the hearing. If there was even a chance of me losing CJ and she wasn't here…I didn't want to stress her out even more than she already was. Every time I talked to her, she sounded tired, and I wondered if she was pushing herself too hard. My last memory of her was holding her in my arms while she cried herself to sleep. I wanted to take her home with me right then and there. At that moment, I didn't give a fuck about her dreams, if it meant never having to see her sad like that again. Then I came to my senses and did what I hoped was the right thing.
Now, I hoped I was doing the right thing by keeping this from her, this giant thing that cast a shadow over my life, and by extension, her life, too. I know I needed closure with Crystal if I ever wanted to have a real life with Lisa. I saw her face when I showed her the apartment. She knew I wasn't ready to let go. I was angry at Crystal every day for the last four years, but I also loved her. She gave me life. She gave me CJ. She gave me Beverly and Reggie Simmons. But fuck, she didn't make it easy. Even when she was gone, I was still cleaning up her messes and discovering her secrets.
Neighbor:Call me as soon as you land.
Me: I will. Have a great show.
Neighbor: You’re supposed to tell me to break a leg.
Me: But I don’t want you to break a leg.
Neighbor: You're so cute. A leg is a part of a theater curtain. In the old days, if a leg of the curtain broke during the applause, it meant that the audience loved your show. They didn't teach you that at Harvard?
Me: No, we learned useful stuff.
Neighbor: I’m gonna let that one slide because you have a large penis.
I burst out laughing, making a few heads in the adjacent rows turn.
Me: I miss you so much.
Neighbor: Probably not as much as I miss you.
Me: Prove it.
Lisa sent me a picture of something that looked like a purple microphone. I stared at the picture in confusion before realization hit and my dick hardened so fast, I had to put my tray table down so the person sitting next to me wouldn’t see the giant erection I sprouted.
Me: Send me a video.
Neighbor: Hell no.
Me: Tonight you’re gonna call me while you’re using that thing.
Neighbor: And if I don’t?
Me: Then I’ll come to Vermont and use it on you myself.
Neighbor: Promise?
I let out an involuntary groan and covered it with a cough.
Me: Please, baby. This might be the most stressful three days of my life. Throw me a lifeline.
Neighbor: I can never deny you. We’ll be waiting for you.
She sent another photo of her hand holding the vibrator. The fingers I've had in my mouth, and other places on my body hundreds of times, were wrapped around the handle and I wasn't sure if I could last the three hours it would take to land in Missouri and check in to my hotel room. I might have to duck into the airplane's bathroom and induct myself into the mile-high club.
I didn't tell Lisa the exact nature of my visit to Missouri. I told her that I had to take care of some last-minute business related to Crystal. It wasn't a lie. This was all related to Crystal. Everything circled back to her like she was a tornado, and everyone who got too close to the funnel was sucked in and swirled around until they were thrown out, hoping for a soft landing.
The next morning,I met with Detective Tan.
"It's about time you called." He indicated a chair opposite his desk, and I sank into it. "I was starting to give up on you."
