My head was swimming. I had so many questions. “You flew here?”
“Yes. And I’ve never flown in a private jet before, so your man has spoiled me.” Sasha tossed her braids over her shoulder.
“You flew here in a private plane?”
“Are you gonna repeat everything we say? Because if that’s the case, can we continue this conversation in the restaurant because it’s cold as hell out here and I’m hungry,” Micaela said.
“Restaurant? What restaurant?”
Micaela rolled her eyes, hooked her arm in mine, and pulled me along the sidewalk.
After a ten-minute walkduring which Sasha filled me in on all of the Mama's Lunchbox gossip, including Mike's abrupt career change, which led to her getting promoted to his vacated position, we entered what looked like an upscale diner.
Seated at a large round booth near the back was Cole. Entirely on-brand for the hormonal weepy mess I'd become in the last two weeks, I started crying. Cole stood to greet me and wrapped me in his arms. My body melted into his, and I inhaled his delicious scent before pushing him away so I could wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down for a kiss. After we separated, I frowned and punched him the chest.
“Ow,” he said in a chuckle. “What was that for?” He was rubbing the spot where I hit him, though I doubt I did that much damage.
“You lied to me!”
"No, I didn't. You asked me where I was, and I told you the truth. I thought you liked my surprises." He leaned over to kiss me as we slid into the booth.
"I do like your surprises," I said quietly and gave him a small smile. This was a wonderful surprise, the best surprise, but I couldn't shake my irritability and was trying so hard not to seem ungrateful. "Where's CJ?"
Cole pointed to the stroller, where CJ was fast asleep. My disappointment reemerged, and I fought back the selfish urge to wake him up so I could hug him. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips, and I felt Cole squeeze my hand under the table.
We ate in mostly silence with Cole eyeing me and shooting furtive, worried glances at Micaela and Sasha.
Cole noticed I was picking at my salad and not eating. I snapped at him, telling him that I was sick of eating salads, which was the truth. Gluten-free, sugar-free and dairy-free options weren't as plentiful everywhere on the tour, and I was usually relegated to eating salads, things that would end up making me sick, or nothing.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“What could you have done?”
“I don’t know. Something? You shouldn’t be keeping stuff like this from me.”
“Why won’t you talk to me about the adoption hearing?” I snapped. Cole opened his mouth and closed it. Sasha and Micaela glanced at each other, then at their plates.
"Let's talk about this later. Okay, babe." Cole squeezed my hand again. I looked up at Sasha and Micaela. They gave me sympathetic half-smiles, and I mouthed the word,sorry.
“So the show was amazing,” Sasha said to Cole.
“I don’t doubt it. I’m sorry I had to miss it, but CJ and I had a good time at the children’s museum. Do you want to see some videos?”
I knew looking at videos of CJ would set off another flood of tears, so I shook my head. "Can I look at them later?" I tried to smile at Cole.
Dinner only got more awkward, and I knew I was the reason, which made me feel even worse. The family I'd made for myself over the past year had flown to be with me on Christmas Day, and I couldn't appreciate it. I tried to will myself into being happy, but I only succeeded in focusing on how much I would regret my actions later, which only made me spiral even more.
Cole paid the check, and the five of us exited the restaurant. Micaela took CJ's diaper bag, and Sasha took the handle of the stroller.
“What’s happening?” I asked.
“Micaela and Sasha are going to take CJ for a couple of hours so we can be alone.” Cole wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed.
"But he's been asleep the whole time," I said, a little too loudly. I could feel myself being petulant, but I didn't care.
“Hey, it will only be a couple of hours,” Cole crouched down to my eye level and whispered. I knew he was trying to calm me down, but it only made me feel more like a child. I felt tears spring to my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I cried. “I don’t know why I’m acting like this. I should be happy. I am happy. I’m so sorry.”
