I shook my head.
"When I was thirteen, I got caught shoplifting from a department store."
I raised my eyebrows in shock. I’d never seen my dad so much as eat grapes in the grocery store before paying for them.
"Yup. One of my cousins put me up to it. I'd never stolen anything in my life. I spent most of my time in the library or reading comic books—I hadn't even kissed a girl—but they pressured me to do it, so I took a deck of cards, put it in my pocket, and walked out of the store."
He kneaded his hands together and leaned forward, not meeting my eye. Dad wore an expression that resembled shame over something that happened over forty years ago.
"Now, if I were white, they probably would've taken the merchandise, banned me from the store, and called my parents, but instead they called the police. I'd never been so scared in my life. I think I cried the whole time. My parents came to pick me up from the police station. My mother had this look of sadness that I'll never forget. My father was disappointed, and that felt worse than being arrested.
"A few weeks later, I had to go to court and on the bench was a Black man, The Honorable Harris Greene. I knew Black judges existed, but I'd never seen one, not in person, hell, not even on the little bit of TV your grandmother would let me watch. He asked if I did what I was being accused of, and I told the truth. He asked me why I did it, and I told the truth. He looked at my criminal record. I didn't have one. He looked at my school record and saw that I got good grades. He spoke to my parents, and he decided to give me a second chance. He had the option to send me to a juvenile detention center for six months, but instead, he gave me probation. I had to write a letter of apology to the department store owner, and every day after school, I would come work for him in the courthouse for two hours."
I was in shock. Dad and I were close, but he never told me this.
"That was a turning point for me. When that man looked at me, he didn't see a punk or a thug embarking on a life of crime. He saw a good kid who made a mistake and deserved a break. I could've been his son or his nephew. I think about how different my life could've been if my case came across another judge's docket. I didn't decide to become a lawyer that day. I decided to become a judge. I wanted people to look at me, see themselves, and know they were gonna get a fair shot or see what's possible for themselves.
"That's why I became a public defender. I wanted to help people who might not get a fair shot in the legal system, like you and Crystal. Judge Greene showed me what was possible by merely existing.
“So, son, that’s why I became a judge. That’smystory." He leaned forward and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "What's your story? If you're gonna tell me that you're following in my footsteps because you want to make me proud, you don't have to. I'm already proud of you. And if you think you owe it to your mother and me, you don't. The only thing your mother and I ever wanted for you kids was to have every opportunity for happiness. If you're happy, that's all I can ask for. So…"
"I…" I took a deep breath and blew it out. "I wanted to become a lawyer because I wanted to help people." That was the truth. I remember as a kid having a sense of calm whenever Crystal got in trouble, and we went to see Dad. I wanted my clients to see me and know everything was going to be okay.
“And where does CJ fit into this?”
“He wasn’t a part of the plan—”
“But he is now. And what about you, Cole? Are you taking time for yourself?”
“Dad, what is time? I don’t have any time.” I was getting frustrated.
"Look, I'm not telling you to go out and get married, but I'll tell you nothing I've accomplished in my law career would've meant a damn thing to me if I didn't have your mother and you kids."
I met his eye and smiled.
"You and CJ share a bond that no one else will be able to touch, and a loss that no one else will understand. You need each other. The plan has changed, and you need to act accordingly."
"So, what do I do?"
“I can’t tell you that, kid.”
lisa
ten
“Hey, neighbor,”Cole’s voice called over my shoulder as I was leaving my house. I looked at my watch. It was ten fifteen in the morning.
"Why aren't you at work?" I spun around to see CJ sitting next to him on the stoop, working on a red ice pop. He grinned at me with a nearly toothless smile. The bottom half of his face was covered with red drool making him look like a freshly fed, tiny vampire. "Isn't it a little early for that?" I pointed to CJ's ice pop.
"Well, good morning to you too." He bent down, scooping up CJ before descending the stairs to meet me at the sidewalk. "I would be at work today, but yesterday, Jaws here got booted from daycare for biting another kid."
I gasped and leaned close to CJ. “You did?”
He responded by smiling and almost leaping out of Cole’s arms and into mine.
“Hey, no, buddy, don’t— Sorry, he’s covered in popsicle juice.”
I clutched CJ and waved him away. "It's fine. I don't mind. Do I, cutie?" I blew a raspberry into his neck, and he squealed. I couldn't believe how much I'd missed the little nugget. He smelled like soap and fresh strawberries.
