"I took the day off." I shrugged, and I grabbed a lock of my hair and twisted up the ends to examine the strands for splits.
"Because of CJ," he said in a sigh. It wasn't a question, and the guilt I was trying to avoid was etched in his expression. "I can pay you to cover whatever you lost in tips and salary. Are you gonna get in trouble? Fuck, I'm so sorry."
"Stop. This isn't your fault. I hated that job anyway." I leaned forward, putting my hand on his forearm. His arm went tense under my palm.
"What do you mean,hated?” His eyes narrowed.
Shit. As the daughter of an attorney, I definitely should’ve known to phrase that differently.
“Did you get fired?” His other hand clamped over the one that rested on his forearm.
"Technically, I quit." I grinned, hoping my cheer would be contagious, but instead, Cole dropped his head and sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's fine. I have enough to pay my bills for a couple of months. I'll just find something else. Don't worry about me. Worry about finding a new daycare for CJ."
Cole picked up his head and began gnawing on his bottom lip. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but was too deep in thought. Finally, he spoke. "So, I've been thinking about something since I saw you last Friday." He released my hand and shifted backward on the couch. I braced myself. "What if you were CJ's nanny?"
“Cole.” I huffed out a mirthless chuckle. “I thought we ruled that out. You can’t afford it. Remember?”
"Well, I crunched some numbers, and I have a vacant garden-level apartment, the same size as Kimberly's. If you lived there and subtracted the rent and utilities combined with what I can afford to pay a full-time nanny, you'd actually be making more money." He pulled a piece of paper out of his suit pants pocket and handed it to me.
“How do you know how much money I make?”
"You told me when you were drunk." He smiled sheepishly, and I rolled my eyes. "You talk in your sleep. It's adorable. And I estimated."
"How long have you had this in your pocket?" I laughed and unfolded the well-worn sheet of paper. The page was filled with scribbled numbers and equations. He pointed to a large number circled at the bottom. Wow. Cole was making a very compelling argument. Also, first-year associates in Manhattan made a lot more than they did in Charlotte. Based on the cost of living and that daycare tuition, it made sense. I refolded the paper, placed it in my lap, and looked into Cole's expectant face.
“So, Friday night you carried me into your house—drunk—dressed me in your pajamas, and kept me from puking all over your floor. Then, you thought, ‘Hey, this person should definitely be in charge of my kid.’”
"This idea came to me on Friday afternoon," he said with a laugh. "And I'm definitely not one to throw stones, so yeah. CJ loves you, and it's pretty obvious that you love him. You are now unemployed, and I have an immediate job opening because you fired my last nanny…" He raised his eyebrows, and I snorted a laugh.
“I thought you didn’t want a stranger living in your house.”
“I would say we’re pretty well acquainted, Lisa.” He smiled at me then tucked his bottom lip between his teeth.
“About that…” I raised my eyebrow. “If I agree to this crazy idea of yours, there can’t be anymore…getting acquainted.”
"I figured as much." He nodded, and his face was stoic, before perking up. "Does that mean you're considering it?" He had an adorable expression of hope, which made my heart melt and reminded me why this would be a disaster.
"The commute would be amazing," I said. Cole chuckled. "I love hanging out with CJ. It wouldn't even feel like a job, really. Auditions would be hard. Not like I'm getting a ton anyway." It had been over a month since my last one, and even though I was sure I'd nailed it, I still hadn't heard anything. I paused for a moment and caught Cole hanging on my every word. "Can we do this?"
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. Neither one of us is in any shape to handle…more, but whenever we’re together for too long…morehappens. If we’re living in the same house, it just creates more opportunities for—”
“More?” Cole supplied with a grin.
“More.” I agreed.
"Look, I understand. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about you. A lot. I think about you all the time. When I'm awake and when I'm asleep. CJ and I wouldn't have made it these last two and a half months without you."
He raked his fingers through his hair.
"But I work too much. I have a lot of unresolved shit with Crystal to work through, and I have CJ. You're amazing, and you should be with somebody who can give you what you deserve, which is everything. If I tried to make it work with you, it would be because it's what I want and not what was best for you. I also couldn't risk CJ losing someone else he cares about because I'm a selfish asshole."
He reached out and captured my hand with his.
"And this might sound crazy, but I feel like all of this is happening for a reason. It's like fate keeps throwing the three of us together. Let's stop fighting it and figure out a way to make this work. CJ and I need you in our lives. Any way we can get you."
My eyes stung as I listened to Cole’s speech. I felt like I needed him and CJ, too. “When do you want me to start?”
