"Hi, Mami."My mother called me at eight a.m. She loved three things about my new job. The first was the proximity of the handsome man she'd cast as my co-star in her own fabricated love story. Secondly, the odds of me getting kidnapped had been reduced significantly. The third and her favorite: I was always wide awake when she called me first thing in the morning.
"Hey, mija! I just had Celia mail those signed books for you. I also added some little extras. If Cole's mom and aunt want anything else, let me know."
My younger sister, Celia just graduated from UNC and “worked” as my mom’s assistant.
“Thanks, I’ll keep my eyes open for the package. How are you?”
"I'm fine. I'm on deadline as usual, but I haven't been late in over twenty years, so I'm not about to start now."
“How’s Papi?” I asked.
My mother let out a deep sigh. “He’s thinking of running for governor.”
“Are you serious?”
"I wish I wasn't. I don't think your father will go through with it, but he's going to give himself a heart attack if he doesn't take it easy."
“Where is he?”
“He’s here. I told him if he didn’t get his culitoback home, he'd be his own client."
“Mami, you would never get a divorce.” I laughed.
“No, I’d kill him first, but I think your father fears divorce court more than death.”
“You’re probably right.” I chuckled.
"So how are you? How's the baby?" She paused. "How's my future son-in-law?" I could hear her smiling through the phone.
“I’m hanging up.”
"I'll just call back," she said matter-of-factly, and I giggled.
I didn't want to get into too much detail about my and Cole's confusing situation. I was so hurt after he proposed that I spent the week punishing him. He mostly deserved it, but seeing him react to CJ swallowing the ring made me realize that he did what he did to protect him. I couldn't think of anything I wouldn't do for that little boy, and I decided to stop being angry. I could sort out my feelings after the adoption hearing and focus on taking care of my little nugget. I didn't see Cole any more than usual because he worked the same long hours.
The energy shifted when he came home. I could feel him even in my room. Sometimes, I was ashamed to admit, I felt myself while I was feeling him and made a point to invest in a quieter vibrator. These weren’t thoughts I would share with my mother.
“Ma, it’s not a real engagement. It’s just so he can get custody of the baby. I thought Papi explained it.”
“He did, but you never know what could happen…”
Like a pint-sized EMT, CJ chose that moment to come to my rescue. "Hey, Mami," I called into the phone. "That's the baby. I have to go. Thank you for signing the books. I love you."
“I love you too, querida.”
Coleand I spent the next few weeks falling into a comfortable routine. We probably saw each other a total of twenty minutes a day, but they weren't tense or awkward anymore. I still wasn't wearing the ring and not just because Cole kept forgetting to get it cleaned. The nurse who gave it to us in the specimen cup assured us that she personally scrubbed and disinfected it, but it still weirded me out. I also didn’t wear the ring because of how much I loved it and how sad it made me that it meant nothing.
My first engagement ring was more for my ex than it was for me. The proposal was an embarrassing grand gesture. The ring was big, expensive, and gaudy. I had no say in its selection. He'd never bothered to have it properly sized, so it rolled around my finger and gave me tiny scratches. He always insisted I wore it whenever we went out, even after we were married. I always thought that it meant he was proud to have me as his wife, and loved to show me off, but now I knew better. When I started to gain weight, it no longer fit, and I stopped wearing it. That should've been a sign.
Every time I wore the ladybug ring, I would be reminded of Cole, bringing me to the jewelry store and letting me choose the ring I would like best. I would always remember CJ's chubby finger pointing at the display case while saying his second word. I'd always see CJ's little fist wrapped around Cole's finger as he sat beside his hospital bed as he slept, Cole's face etched with worry. The ladybug ring would be a constant reminder that I was faking an engagement that I desperately wished was real.
“You ready for this?”
“I think so?” I shifted the bag of books to my other shoulder as Cole typed the code into the keypad of his parents’ front door.
“Hey,” Cole called out. “Lord CJ and his personal assistants have arrived.”
"Oh, please." A tall, thin, beautiful brown-skinned woman with long, tightly coiled hair swept into the room wearing a crisp white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbow and a colorful skirt. "Give me that baby and stop being so dramatic." She grabbed Cole and kissed him. "You must be Lisa. Hello, I'm Beverly."
