“We don’t have anything to talk about.” But for some unknown reason, curiosity slowed my steps and kept me rooted to the spot.
“I think I owe you an apology.”
“You think you owe me an apology?” I raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know?”
"Look, I might have had a little too much to drink the other night—okay, I definitely had too much to drink," he added when I rolled my eyes. "And I think I might have said or done something to offend you." He raised his eyebrows, looking for confirmation.
The question seemed so sincere, and I almost succumbed to the plea in his vibrant blue eyes until I remembered how his words punched me in the chest, which was compounded by the fact that he didn't even remember saying them. He stood in front of me, making me potentially late for lunch with my friends and fishing for details on his disgusting behavior.
“You don’t remember what you said or did?” I turned to face him and crossed my arms.
"No," he said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I don't remember much, but I remember that look on your face, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I feel terrible, and I wanted to try to make it right."
"So." I exhaled a long breath and narrowed my eyes at him. "You camped outside my house to apologize to me, even though you have no idea why you owe me an apology becauseyoufeel terrible?"
"Well, I—" he began before I cut him off.
“And I’m supposed to what? Help you? Youallegedlywronged me and expect me to do the emotional labor of explaining what you did to me and why it was so fucked up, soyoucan stop feeling terrible?"
"Um—" he tried to speak again.
"This is how real apologies work: one…" I held up my index finger. "You say that you're sorry. Two." Another finger. "You acknowledge your behavior and take responsibility. Three: You right the wrong, and finally four: You put actions in place to make sure you won't repeat your mistake. So, can you see how you might run into difficulty completing steps two through four?"
“Look. Okay, I fucked up, but I’m trying to make it right. Haven’t you ever drunk so much that you didn’t remember what happened the next day?”
“No.”
"You know what? That doesn't surprise me. Fine. I'm done. You obviously have someplace to go, and I'm wasting my time trying to be nice to someone who wants to be miserable." He turned and walked back to his stoop and climbed the stairs. "And you know what else? You owe me an apology, and unlike you, I'm gonna tell you why."
I crossed my arms and tilted my head in exasperation, waiting for his response. This oughta be good. "Why?"
“For trying to kill me with a baseball bat.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “That’s right. I could have you arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.”
He raised his eyebrows as if he'd made the best argument in the world, and though I tried to suppress it, I let out a small chuckle that sounded like a snort. His eyes glittered at my expression, and an adorable half-smile tugged at his lips. I recovered quickly.
Being adorable doesn’t mean he’s not an asshole, I reminded myself.
“You know, you really suck at apologizing,” I shouted up to him.
His smile dropped from his mouth, and his brow furrowed, giving his face a funny expression that resembled recognition. I almost wanted to question it, then I decided that the less I knew about my handsome, asshole neighbor, the better. I walked out of my gate and headed toward the train.
cole
three
“You know,you really suck at apologizing.”
Holy shit.
Kimberly’s tenant, whose name I still didn’t know, unwittingly solved the mystery of why I couldn’t let my argument with my sister go.
I called Judy and told her I would be a little late coming into the office and asked her to cover for me. She agreed, but it would cost me an extra latte.
I got dressed and waited for Kimberly to leave her house. Apparently, stalking the residents of the brownstone next door had become my new pastime. That's how I knew Adam had left forty-five minutes earlier wearing running gear.
A black town car pulled up in front of her house, and a minute later, Kimmy walked out carrying a small rolling suitcase. I jogged over to her and took it out of her hands as I walked her to her car.
