Clearly.
Obviously.
I settled in and tried to calm my heart as I watched her mask fog and clear. With Lisa in my arms and my nose buried in her hair, I inhaled the scent of her shampoo while the low whirring of the CPAP machine lulled me to sleep.
Lisa was feeling betterby the end of the day, and I couldn't remember being more grateful for something since CJ crapped out her ring. She ate a little something but still felt tired at the end of the evening, so we ended up in bed together again. Not that I was complaining.
In the morning, the apartment was completely empty. CJ had a sleepover with Kimberly and Adam and would be spending the day with them. My parents lured RJ out with the promise of a submarine and a trolley ride through an old cave. We ate breakfast together and decided to hang out in our pajamas, sit on the balcony, and watch the freighters go by.
“You were talking in your sleep again yesterday.” I turned to look at her and tried to read her first reaction to what I’d said. She looked embarrassed but curious. She had no idea what she said in her sleep.
“Oh, God,” she groaned. “I hope I didn’t say anything embarrassing. What? Did I tell you my social security number?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“Those meds make me really loopy sometimes. That’s why I hate taking them unless I have no choice. Would you tell me if I said something crazy?”
“Sure,” I lied.
The restof the week flew by and I got to fall asleep with Lisa in my arms every night. Seeing her in so much pain wasn’t easy, but I was glad I could be the one to comfort her. The first three days, I took care of her instead of the other way around. She spent most of those days in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom and shower.
By the fourth day, she wanted to go outside, so we took CJ to the beach where he chased his first "kwab" and ate his body weight in sand. She was nearly at a hundred percent by the weekend so, Mom, Kimberly, and Aunt Patrice included Lisa on a girls’ trip to a day spa, leaving us men to fend for ourselves.
Adam took us to the racetrack, where Dad and RJ bet against each other, and CJ alternated shouting the words "wook" and "hoseys" about a thousand times.
"Hey." Adam walked up to me and leaned on the fence, where I was balancing CJ on the top beam. "Ready for tomorrow?"
“I hope so.”
“Think she’ll be happy?”
“God, I hope so.” I smiled. “Hey, thanks for watching CJ again.”
"Are you kidding? We love this little guy. Right, little man?" He tickled CJ's belly and he dissolved into giggles.
I cleared my throat and turned to him. “Hey, man,” I began hesitantly. I wasn’t a heart-to-heart kind of guy, though I did overshare with Adam when I was drunk a few months ago. “Do you and Kimmy ever talk about having kids?”
“Sometimes.” He shrugged. “We probably should’ve talked about it more before we got engaged, but fuck it.” He chuckled.
“What if you guys couldn’t have your own kids?”
He went quiet and turned to watch the horses for a minute before he spoke. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't want kids that were half me and half Kimberly, probably mostly Kimberly." He huffed out a small chuckle. "But at the end of the day, I want her, and I want her happy, whatever that means. I know she wants kids. She's great with CJ, and she's great with my niece, but if for some reason we couldn't have our own, I'd be happy as long as I had her."
I nodded.
The irony of the situation was that I never wanted kids, biological or otherwise. I lucked out when I got adopted, and I knew that I couldn't give what my parents gave me to a another kid. But the moment CJ crawled into my lap, I knew instantly I would give him anything. I would do the same thing for Lisa. I know she wants children of her own, and if I couldn't give them to her, I wondered if CJ and I would ever be enough for her?
lisa
twenty-four
“Hey.”I re-entered the bedroom after my shower to find Cole packing a small duffle bag with my clothes. “What are you doing?”
“We’re going on a road trip with Adam and Kimberly.”
"Y'all do way too much on your family vacations. When we went to PR, we had to make our own fun, and if we ever said we were bored, my grandmother would make us do chores, so we never told her we were bored," I said with a laugh. Cole gave me a funny look that made me suspicious. "What are you up to?"
“I’m not sure what you mean.” He smirked. “You almost ready?”
