Avery’s face did something complicated. “Thisissafe, right? For the kids, I mean. It’s not like I’m worried about getting pecked by a goose.”
More fool him. I’d met Lucille, and there was no way I was getting within striking distance. But I didn’t tell him that. Instead I said, “As long as they don’t try to pet her it’ll be fine.”
The cute little crease in Avery’s brow vanished, and we all trooped up the driveway and through the rusty gate that led into Bobby’s backyard. We followed Bobby along a meandering path that led to a small grassy area where a couple of low pens were set up. I was relieved to see that Lucille was locked up in a proper cage. Bobby wasn’t kidding about her being a biter.
Avery scanned the yard, then leaned over and said in an undertone, “Where’s the rest of it?”
“This is it,” I said, just as quietly.
Avery looked around doubtfully before saying, “Oh.” His disappointment was palpable, and I felt a pang of sympathy. He’d obviously been expecting a real petting zoo, not Bobby’s admittedly loose interpretation.
“Trust me,” I said, “they’ll love it.”
I pointed to the bunches of kids that were already clustered around the pens, chattering excitedly as they pointed to the animals. Some of the tension left Avery’s frame, and he took a deep breath and said, “Okay. Let’s do this.”
We separated the kids into three groups, one per adult, and we all took turns handing the different animals to our groups so that everyone got to see and touch everything. Avery took plenty of pictures, and so did I, knowing the parents would want to see them. Gracie took a real shine to a fluffy orange kitten, clutching it to her chest and sighing loudly when it was time to hand it back. I pretended not to notice. There was no way our household could cope with a pet. We could barely look after ourselves.
The hamsters were a hit, and the whole class thought it was fantastic when one of them took a shit in my hand—one of the hamsters, not the five-year-olds, although that probably would have had them laughing just as hard. I caught Avery fighting back a smile as I wiped my hands on the stars and stripes patterned handkerchief Bobby offered me, and I grinned back.
The highlight of the morning was when Bobby brought out Dennis, a small, scruffy terrier who was missing his left rear leg. Bobby told his rapt audience that Dennis had been hit by a car but that he’d been rescued by Jim Ross, the local vet, and adopted by Bobby when nobody came forward to claim him. Dennis sat there with his tongue hanging out in a happy smile, and when he dropped and rolled onto his back, all the kids rubbed his belly and told him what a good boy he was as he panted happily.
Lucille honked loudly when the kids stood in front of her cage, but to their credit not one of them tried to touch her. Lucille’s reputation obviously preceded her—kind of like mine did, except in her case it was deserved.
By the time we’d done the rounds of the pens twice, the kids were starting to flag. Avery gathered them up into two lines, and they chorused, “Thank you, Mr. Merritt.” Bobby gave them all a sticker with a goose giving a thumbs-up to take home, and then we started the walk back to school.
“Mr. Smith!” one of the little boys complained when we were outside the church. “My legs are tired!”
“School’s right there, Tyrell,” Avery said, pointing.
“But my legs are tired!” Tyrell stopped walking, and since he was at the front of the line, everyone behind him stopped too. He gave me a look that reminded me of Cash when he had a hair up his ass, and I knew this kid wasn’t taking another step.
“Come on,” I said. “Piggyback ride.”
Tyrell put on a burst of speed to get to my side. So much for his tired legs. I crouched down and Tyrell climbed onto my back. I straightened up and hitched him farther up.
Avery gave me a look that I couldn’t quite read. I hoped itdidn’t mean he was going to tear shreds off me when we got back to the school for touching a kid. Touching, not touching-touching.
“But I’m supposed to hold Tyrell’s hand!” a little girl exclaimed. “I’m his buddy!”
“You’d better hold Mr. Smith’s hand then,” I suggested. “I think he’d make a pretty decent buddy.”
Whatever Avery’s look was, it intensified. His cheeks were pink.
“Let’s go. I still have to read you the rest of that story,” I said. Tyrell locked his arms around my neck, and I set off for the school.
When we got back, Tyrell was giggling madly, and the next thing I knew there was a line of kids who all wanted a piggyback ride and I’d somehow agreed to give them one. I did a bunch of laps around the classroom with a bunch of different kids and finally held out my hand to Gracie.
“You’re my daddy,” she announced loftily. “I can get piggybacks anytime at home!”
And she shoved the picture book I’d been reading before the excursion into my hands.
“Sixteen out and sixteen back, right?” I asked. “And there weren’t even any goose-related injuries.”
Avery ducked his head to hide a smile. “God, I would have died.” When he looked up again, his eyes were bright. “Thanks again for helping out, but if you don’t finish that story right now, I’m going to have a riot on my hands.”
“I think you could take ’em,” I said.
“I dunno,” he said with a laugh. “They’re small, but there’s a lot of them.”
