Ikissed him.
Myfirstkiss, actually. I didn’t mean to give in to the temptation. I don’t know if I should blame the martini or the black pepper and tobacco that fogged my brain like a heady drug, but as his hand slid into my hair, and he was whispering against my lips, I was helpless to stop him.
The worst part is that I can’t stop thinking about his perfect mouth and the way it felt capturing,owningmine. Without a single word, he commanded me, leading the moment with his usual domineering sophistication.
It was the most incredible kiss, even if I have nothing to compare it to, and it can absolutelyneverhappen again.
“Gen.” Corinne’s voice swims through my murky thoughts, and I blink to find her still sitting in the chair across from my desk. “Are you listening?”
I rub at my temple, a blush touching my cheeks as I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I’m…elsewhere today.”
I’m clearly still high on the addictive opiate that is Ford Crawford.
Her pretty face scrunches as she tilts her head. She sets her tablet in her lap where I can see my calendar pulled up. Shit, how much of our conversation did I black out. I’m getting ready to apologize,when she says, “We have twenty minutes before Elliott arrives, so spend the next ten minutes talking to me.”
In another life, Corinne might’ve made a damn good therapist. I glance toward my office door, ensuring it’s closed.
“Ford kissed me.” Her eyes widen, but she stays quiet, allowing me to keep speaking. “Last night, after the dinner he paid to have with me. And I…”
I push to my feet, wandering over to the huge windows overlooking the bustling city. “The worst part is that it was the best kiss of my entire life.”
It’s notjustthe kiss either. The date was like something out of a dream. Ford ensnared me with his playfulness and thoughtfulness, and I worry I’ll never get free. I want to do it again, want to feel his body pressed against me and his lips moving with mine. I didn’t even have it in me to be embarrassed that I came simply from dry humping him like some young, horny girl. The date wasperfect.
“Why is that bad?” she asks sweetly.
I release a heavy sigh. “You know I can’t be wrapped up in a relationship. Not when I sense a war brewing.”
She comes to stand next to me, her delicate hand slipping into mine. “There’s never a perfect time to start a new relationship, but this could be good for you, Gen.” Squeezing my hand, she whispers, “It’s been fourteen years, you deserve happiness.”
What if she’s right?“And if the government tries to take me down? It’ll hit him, too.” I shake my head. “No way. I can’t do that to anyone else.”
If I go down, I’m going scorched earth. The people I love will not be collateral damage.
“For what it’s worth, I think you should go for this. Relationships are always a risk.”
What if she’s right? What if I actually gave Ford, gave us, a chance? Fuck, I want to. It’s already taken fourteen years to rekindle this flame inside me, and what if this never happens again? How many chances at love does one person get in a lifetime?
He already knows about my career and he’s not insecure about it, nor does he shame me for it, so I don’t have any remaining arguments against it other than those I laid out for Corinne. And I could always get Marcus’s help to tighten security to mitigate some of those concerns.
Ford is the ripple in the placid lake of my life. Would it be so bad if I rode that wave, even if only for a moment? Am I insane for considering this?
She drops my hand, and we fall silent for a bit before she speaks again. “Before I forget, Henry called and asked for a spot on your calendar, so I gave him your evening slot on Monday.”
My eyebrows pinch, and I face her fully. “Why didn’t he call me?”
That’s unusual for Henry. He’s been booking directly through me for sixteen years. As far as I can remember, this is a first.
She shrugs. “He said he couldn’t reach you on your phone, that it didn’t even ring.”
“Huh.” I glance at my phone sitting face up on my black desk. “That’s weird.”
The shiny vinyl of my black mini dress sticks together as I bend over to lace up my thigh-high boots in my powder bathroom. Checking my notifications, I find a notice that Elliott has accessed the elevator code.
I’ve never worked with Elliott Leplee before, but I decided to keep the director of Homeland Security on my calendar, thoroughly poaching him from Nathaniel—who’s been more than compensated.
Normally, a three-hour session, like the one I’m about to walk into, does nothing but wind me up and turn me all the way on, but I’m having difficulty tapping into my dominatrix side. I blame Ford for that.
Giving Elliott a chance to follow the directions I’ve laid out forhim, I close my eyes and take a few breaths. I need to find the domineering part of myself again, or this job is going to become a lot less fun for me.
