He doesn’t want me.
He’ll never want me.
Yet he’s always watching me, and I don’t know why.
Usually it’s when he thinks I’m not looking. I see him out of the corner of my eye, or through Minta’s eyes. Sometimes, he looks as forlorn as I feel. It’s impossible for my stomach not to do backflips when I feel his eyes on the back of my neck. Could it be that he misses me? Could he be changing his mind about not wanting me? I hate it, but there’s still a flutter of hope in myheart. While Stesha is unmated, I don’t think I’ll be able to quash that hope.
Months pass, and I dread the day Stesha might choose a mate. Now that I’m alone, I fear many things. I fear being alone with the king or being the one to discover Emmeric while I’m out on Minta. I have a nasty feeling that Emmeric will see me first, and I’ll be worse for it. There’s little that I look forward to or take pleasure in apart from Minta.
Well, there is one thing.
I steal things from Stesha.
Nothing valuable. Cloaks and shirts or a blanket, and after I’ve hugged all the scent from them, I wash them and put them back in his rooms. I don’t want to thieve things, but I have trouble sleeping without his scent.
Time passes in an unhappy fashion, but it still passes. I have rarely seen Queen Magritte since Mirelle died, but one day, not long before I’m twenty, I receive a surprise summons to her sitting room.
When I arrive, wearing my best riding clothes and with my hair in a neat plait, she’s sitting at a window and watching the dragons. The queen’s sweet Omega perfume fills the room. Though she looks tired and sad, she’s still beautiful and striking. Mirelle had a similar quality about her. You couldn’t help but admire her pretty face and feel drawn to her. I think that’s just how all Omegas are, and they’re treated as though they’re treasures by their mates. King Aylard locks his queen up so that no one may look upon her but him. Onderz would have flown his dragon to the moon and brought it down for Mirelle if she’d asked. How envious I am of Omegas, to be so adored. If I were an Omega, Stesha would have never told me he didn’t want me.
Queen Magritte turns to me and examines me closely. “Zenevieve of Vierforn. You are as lovely as he said you were. But you’re sad, aren’t you, dear?”
I frown, wondering who she means byhe. I suppose my father must have spoken about me to the queen before he died. “I am a little tired, my queen.”
“How old are you?”
“Nearly twenty.”
“And still unmated?” Her lips press together in sympathy. “I thought I knew who your mate was, but it seems it wasn’t to be.”
My skin crawls. She must mean Emmeric.
“I apologize, I’m making you uncomfortable,” Queen Magritte says. “I have wished for some happiness in the kingdom after so much sadness. Mirelle and Onderz would have been mated by now. Perhaps even with a baby on the way.” She gazes listlessly out the window and remains silent for a long time.
I clear my throat. “Is there anything I can do for you, my queen?” I don’t want to seem rude and hurry her, but there are so many painful memories crowding into my head in her presence, and they’re suffocating me.
She turns back to me, and her eyes are filled with tears. “You were Mirelle’s friend, weren’t you?”
I wouldn’t have called us friends, but I liked Mirelle. Out loud, I say, “The princess and I spent many happy hours together with our dragons.”
The queen smiles sadly. “How Mirelle loved Dianthe. Her confidence as a young woman grew so much after she learned to ride. Sometimes I wonder how much of an Omega’s timidity is due to their nature, and how much is because we tell them they are weak and stupid. My daughter was becoming so brave, but she was still afraid of the dark, and I hate to think of her lost on that mountain.” The queen trails off, and then she lifts her eyes to mine, and I understand why she summoned me here. “Amid the search for Emmeric, everyone has forgotten Mirelle but her friends. Zenevieve, will you spare some time and search for herbody? I wish with all my heart for her to be given dragon rites so she can rest peacefully.”
I have avoided the place where Mirelle took her own life out of guilt, and because it hurts so much to think of the princess in so much pain. But maybe some of the ache of sadness in my soul will be lifted if I’m able to do this for her.
I remember what Stesha said after Mirelle died.Her body may emerge as the winter ice melts.
“My queen, the Bodan Mountains are thick with ice and snow at present, but the season is changing. In the coming weeks, when there is a thaw, I will search for Mirelle.”
Queen Magritte’s eyes fill with gratitude. “Thank you, Zenevieve.”
I curtsey to the queen and bid her farewell. “I am honored that you have trusted me with this task. I wish I had been a better friend to the princess.”
While I await the thaw, my twentieth birthday passes. While I lived with Stesha, my birthdays were happy occasions. Now I’m alone, the day is difficult and lonely. There are plenty of dragonriders in the barracks who are orphans and cheerfully shrug off their birthdays, saying the day they found their dragon is more important, but my birthday is the day that Minta and I knew we were destined for one another. If you have grown accustomed to love and affection on the day that commemorates your birth, it hurts to suddenly be without it. Because there’s no one to kiss and hug me, I shower Minta with love and affection, and we celebrate by flying to one of the prettiest meadows around Lenhale and dig for dandelion roots, a crunchy treat for a dragon. I push away the painful memory that Nilak loves dandelion roots as well, and that Stesha was the one to bring Minta to me on my birthday. His eyes were very blue that day, and I feel sure that he was almost as happy as I was that Minta was my dragon.
There’s a warm flush in the air that hints at the coming spring, and I look northward to the Bodan Mountains, wondering if tomorrow will be a good day to start looking for Princess Mirelle’s body. Minta raises her head and looks to the north. Her keen eyes scour the snow-covered peaks, and I feel how eager she is to begin.
“Tomorrow it is,” I tell her.
We set off mid-morning, and as we fly northward, I allow myself to recall the events of the day Princess Mirelle died for the first time in many months. I was down on the dragongrounds with Minta, but I never heard her scream because of a tussle that broke out between two young Alpha dragons. When another dragonrider shouted in alarm and pointed up at the castle, I knew something was wrong. I turned just in time to see a small figure, her arms outspread, fall backward from the battlements, caught by Dianthe a moment later. They flew overhead, and I heard the princess weeping.
