I kiss her one last time and let her go, hating the traces of unhappiness in her scent. I wish I could make her understand that no matter her designation or what it looks like, I want only her.
I take stock of the flare, and notice that there’s much activity around the nesting caves. Scourge is guarding the entrance, and there’s a soft chirruping from within.
I smile to myself as I realize what this means. There are new dragons in the nesting caves. While we were gone, Esmeral’s hatchlings have emerged from their eggs. The flare is growing stronger.
30
Zenevieve
Istand just outside the rooms I once shared with Stesha, hesitating on the threshold, nervously playing with the sleeve of my dress. What if I go through that door, and Stesha stares at me in surprise that I’m there? Glowering in disapproval and dislike because I’m still not enough for him. I’ll crumple up in shame and heartbreak. I’ll want the floor to open up and swallow me whole, and I’ll probably cough up my insides from despair.
A wave of panic passes through me. I can’t go through all that pain again.I can’t.
My whole body tenses with the urge to run from the doorway, and far, far away from Stesha.
I take a few deep breaths and try to get a hold of myself. Mother Linnea told me that my endless false heat is making it hard for me to think clearly, though she has no idea why I’m stuck in it rather than cycling through it in a day or two. She listened with widening eyes to all I had to say about me and Stesha, and she was outraged at first. With him, not me. MotherLinnea shed many tears for me when she thought I was going to die from lavish sickness. She had trouble believing I was an Omega not a Beta, the wordscruel Alphawere on her lips until she smoothed a special oil over the nape of my neck, and suddenly my Omega perfume filled the air.
The oil is still clinging to me, and as I walked through the castle, dozens of heads turned to stare at me in confusion. All my doubts were screaming in my head. How dare I smell like this when everyone knows I’m a Beta? I dashed the rest of the way to Stesha’s rooms. The place he told me to go. The home he said he’d welcome me into after all these years.
But what if he’s changed his mind again?
I whimper under my breath, willing myself to lift my hand and knock, but I can’t make my body obey. I always felt frustrated with Mirelle when she acted like this, unable to move forward or go back, but I realize now it wasn’t an act. She truly was terrified, and I feel so much sympathy for the long-dead princess as I stand here with tears in my eyes. I think she felt like this every day of her life, whether she was in heat or not. I wonder if I’ll ever be free of this horrible feeling.
There are heavy footsteps behind me. Stesha wraps his arms around me, embracing me with his strong muscles, his body heat, his scent. He buries his face in the back of my neck with a groan. He takes a deep breath of my scent and lifts me up off the ground. “Aash’lin, your scent,” he groans.
He turns me in his arms and takes my face in his hands, and his lips are descending toward mine when he freezes. “You’re crying? What has happened?”
“I didn’t know if…” is all I manage to say in a choked voice.
His brow creases in pain. “If I’d still want you? You’re my mate. I will never abandon you.” He sighs heavily and pulls me into a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry that I’ve made you not trust me. I will win back your trust. I promise.”
“I’m trying to trust you,” I whisper through my tears.
“You do not have to try and do anything. All the effort and responsibility is mine.” His voice grows thick as he buries his face in my throat. “Yourscent. Is thisHratha’lenoil on your mating gland? I feel like I’m going into a rut this instant.”
“Mother Linnea thought it might help us,” I gasp, as his lips seek my flesh and his dragines sink into me, and I cry out from pleasure and pain.
Stesha fumbles for the door handle, carries me inside, and slams the door behind us. He takes my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine, and I’ve never been kissed so desperately before.
“You’re still my mate?” I manage to say between swipes of his tongue and bites of his teeth. “I can still call you Alpha?”
“Yes. Yes. You’re mine. All mine. I’ll kill anyone who says otherwise.” His utterances are more growls than words.
“Then take me to bed, Alpha.Please.”
I half expect him to argue with me. Tell me no. Have some infuriating reason why we still can’t be together. So it comes as a shock when he lifts me in his arms, shoulders through the bedroom door, and drops me onto his bed. I look up at him in surprise as he’s braced over me.
He notices my expression and smiles down at me. “You thought I’d say no?”
I nod my head, my eyes very wide.
“Do you want me to say no? I can wait as long as you need. I will worship the ground upon which you walk until the day I die even if you never look at me again.” Stesha caresses my face, and says in a low voice, “Do you know what some people believe about Alphas and Omegas? They are two halves of the same soul, and they recognize each other as mates the moment they catch each other’s scent because the gods made them from oneperson a long time ago, and they are destined to live many lives together.”
I touch his face, and whisper, “That’s beautiful. If it’s true, then I hope this is the hardest lifetime for us. I hope the lives that come after this one are easy and filled with happiness.”
“The gods are never easy on their favorites. They test their strength and courage, and their hearts. And how could you not be their favorite,aash’lin?”
I close my eyes and enjoy his soft caresses on my cheek. I don’t think it’s me who’s favored, but I can understand Stesha being beloved by the dragon gods. Their strongest Alpha, who cares for and protects all the dragons, who is clever, loyal, and handsome. A dragon god might want to test his limits to prove how worthy he is.
