“Of course I’ll stay. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
He groans in pleasure and squeezes me tighter. “I’ve never been so happy.”
We kiss for a long time, our tongues twining lazily together, and then more urgently. I feel the heat rise in his body, and his cock, which stayed erect, grows as hard as iron. His scent turns my mind to blissful mush as he lifts me up onto his cock and pulls me down on him.
“Please, Alpha. Your knot. I can take it.”
“You’re not in heat,aash’lin.”
“What if I never go into heat? We should at least try.”
“I would hurt you.”
“But please, I can—”
Stesha rolls us over so that I’m pinned beneath him. He bites down on my flesh, making me break off with a cry, probably to stop me from begging for something that he can’t give me. I feel sorry, and confused, and frustrated, until he fucks me so hard and bites me so deeply that I can’t think about anything else.
After, as we lay together, I feel ashamed of what I said. He must want to knot me as much as I do, but he can’t.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, tracing patterns on his chest. “I shouldn’t have asked you for that.”
He cups the back of my neck and draws me to him. “Don’t be sorry. I know you can’t help wanting that.”
“But what if I never can?”
“Be patient,aash’lin. The gods have been testing us sorely, because the Maledinni gods love those who are strong. We will show them how strong we are.”
Maybe they only meant to test us by having our designations emerge at different times, not for Stesha to inflict lavish sickness on his mate and then be locked under a mountain for five hundred years. Maybe I’m too damaged now to ever be completely happy. I can’t find it in my heart to trust in the gods after all Maledin has been through, and I can’t help but fret about me and Stesha, even as I finally have what I’ve longed for. Stesha as my mate.
I hate that Emmeric is still finding ways to ruin things for me, and I’m letting him.
Stesha presses kisses to my face as though reading my thoughts. “What we have endured is more than any other Alpha and Omega pair before us. We can’t give up now that we are finally together.”
He’s right. Nothing is hopeless. I just wish I could be perfect for him. I wish I could feel like his Omega, without worry, and without doubt. “We could tell people about us.”
“We could,” Stesha agrees, but in a noncommittal tone.
“You don’t want to?”
“I am happy for you to speak about us to anyone you wish. You have always had many friends among the dragonriders.”
“And your friends?”
“I don’t have friends. I have dragons.”
“Zabriel thinks of you as his friend.”
Stesha’s lip turns up in a smile. “He called me his friend during the Dragon Games. The audacity.”
I laugh. “Howdarehe. You do not wish to be his friend?”
Stesha thinks about this for a long time. “My Alpha’s pride has always been aware that Zabriel would surpass me in rank once the prince became a king. He challenged me week after week to spar with him because he was longing for the day he would make me eat dust. And he has, once or twice. We have been rivals, but we work well together, and he listens to me as his advisor. He had a presence of mind after we awoke from under the mountain that I lacked, and I still can’t fathom how quickly and easily he took Maledin back from the Brethren.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “I was so lost,aash’lin, but he knew exactly what to do.”
“It sounds like you respect him, which is the first step toward friendship. I have seen the two of you together lately, and you are very comfortable. You enjoy each other’s company.”
“Alas, I think you’re right. I have a friend.”
I burst out laughing.
