My heart twisted painfully in my chest, a sharp ache that radiated through my ribs. Whatever haunted his sleep was crushing him. I eased my hand onto his shoulder, my fingertips registering the feverish heat of his skin, the taut muscles beneath trembling with whatever demons plagued his dreams.
"Diarvet, you're safe," I whispered, applying just enough pressure to ground him. "It's just a dream. You're here with me. It's safe. Lilibet is safe."
His breathing was ragged, coming in sharp, panted gasps. Sweat beaded his forehead despite the cool night air. His eyes moved rapidly beneath his closed lids, trapped in whatever horror was playing out in his mind.
"Wake up," I said more firmly, giving his shoulder a gentle shake. "Diarvet, come back to me."
Suddenly, his eyes snapped open. He bolted upright with an agonized groan that pierced the silence. His hand flew to his throat, gaze frantically searched the space, as if looking for someone who wasn’t there.
"Lilibet!" he gasped, his voice raw and broken. "No, no, no…."
“She’s safe,” I promised, settling on the edge of the mattress, my hands resting on his shoulders.
Recognition and relief flashed across his face, and suddenly I was in his arms. Cradled on his lap and pressed to his chest. I felt his heart pounding wildly, his whole body trembling, as if purging the remnants of terror.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him tight. "It's okay," I murmured. "I'm here. Lilibet is safe. We're all safe."
Slowly, he relaxed, the tightness of his body softening, but his hold on me remained firm.
"I'm sorry," he said gruffly.
"It's okay," I soothed, letting my fingers sift through the dark blue hair curling at the nape of his neck. "It was just a nightmare."
He pulled back slightly to look at me, his eyes dark and haunted. "Not just a nightmare," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "She had you. The queen... she had Lilibet, and you,and…." His voice broke, and he pressed his face against my shoulder, the things he’d witnessed in sleep too horrific to share.
He shook in my arms, this powerful warrior splintered by nightmares. I moved to lie on the bed beside him, drawing him down until his head rested against my shoulder, the weight of him settling into me. My fingers combed gently through his hair, feeling the soft strands slip between them as his ragged breathing gradually slowed and steadied.
"I used to have them too," I whispered into the darkness. "Nightmares. For months after I was abducted. They felt so real I'd wake up screaming."
His arms tightened around me. "How did you make them stop?"
"Time," I said softly. "And knowing I wasn't alone." I pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. "You're not alone either."
We lay there in the quiet, his breathing slowly syncing with mine. After a long moment, he lifted his head to meet my gaze.
"I was tortured," he said so softly I almost didn't hear him. "By the queen. Vraxxan and I grew up together. We were close, more like brothers. When he escaped Zarpazia to rescue the female who is now his mate, she knew I'd helped him. She… she tried to make me talk."
"Oh Diarvet,” I breathed, my heart feeling like it fractured in two.
"She kept me chained, inflicting tiny cuts all over my body, peeling the scales from my flesh. Then, when I was near death, she used a medi-unit to heal me and start all over again."
"Oh my God, Diarvet," I whispered, tears welling in my eyes. My fingertips trailed along his cheek, the scales warm and soft against my touch.
"I never gave them up," he murmured. "She figured out where they were hiding by her own methods. But I never betrayed them. Never."
“Of course not,” I soothed. This male was loyal. I knew that to the marrow of my bones.
I’d learned enough about trauma to understand that sometimes speaking the nightmare aloud could strip it of power, rendering the shadowy terrors impotent in the light. The act of giving voice to the horrors that stalked his sleep might help him reclaim some measure of control over his own mind. "Are your nightmares about the torture?" I asked gently, my fingers still threading through his hair in soothing strokes.
"Yes," he sighed heavily, the sound seeming to come from the very depths of his soul. His chest rose and fell in an uneven rhythm, as if even speaking about it required tremendous effort. "But that’s not the worst part. The physical pain... somehow my mind has learned to let that go." His voice dropped to barely above a whisper, raw with anguish. "Mostly I dream about her getting to Vraxxan and his mate... watching as she kills them and I’m helpless, unable to do anything to stop her." He swallowed hard, his throat working against the emotion threatening to overwhelm him. "Tonight... tonight it wasn't just them she was hurting. She had found you and Lilibet, too. She was making me watch as she…." His voice broke completely, unable to finish the sentence as his body shuddered with the remembered horror.
His hand found mine, threading our fingers together. I squeezed it gently, knowing how much it cost him to be vulnerable.
"I'm here," I whispered. "We're safe."
He sucked in a deep steadying breath, his trembling subsiding somewhat. "I will never let anything hurt you."
"I know," I whispered, trusting the truth of it.
