“How do you mean?”
“Well, just that as they got older and the bloodlust lessened, maybe Goosevar gave them visions, too. Even if they didn’t understand where they were coming from, the visions may have had an effect. We still don’t fully understand his connection to your family.”
Not liking the way this felt knocking around in my heart, I tilted my teacup. A single damp leaf—looking like nothing more than that—had stuck to the bottom.
“Mina.” Glancing up, I found his eyes fixed on me. “Goosevar may have manipulated us into marrying, but what I feel for you has nothing to do with him. What I feel for you has nothing to do with the bloodlust.”
I stared, heart thumping wildly. I swallowed, though my mouth had gone dry. “But he chose meforyou, Harker. You said it yourself—I was only the second woman to have set foot on the estate since you were a boy.”
He grimaced. “I did say that. And it was cruel of me.”
“I prefer your honesty,” I replied, though my voice broke. “Rank, education, upbringing ... we are mismatched in every way. Goosevar pushed you to marry me for his own reasons. Then I pushed you to marry me for mine.”
A muscle worked in his jaw, but I kept going. “If we somehow manage to free ourselves from him, I will hold you to no vow. I will always have a home here with Jack. He blusters, but I know he’d never turn me out.”
There was a blur of movement, and a slight shiver in the air that I realized always came with Harker’s vampire quickness.
I found myself suddenly up out of my chair and folded in his arms.
Pleasures of the Flesh
I gasped as he crushed me against him. And again as his hand came to my face and pulled my lips to his.
I felt no needle pricks of pain, only the soft fullness of his dark mouth, like a ripe plum. Unlike when he’d fed on me, I wasn’t slipping deliciously into a dream. Awash in fiery new sensations, I clung to his coat lapels, worried that at any moment he would remember himself and this would end.
Our mouths were greedy, slipping against each other and tasting, as if cleaning honey from a spoon. My body shuddered into his, and a sound came from him that was low and almost animal. Our mouths opened wider, tongues probing deeper.
His hands glided down to my waist, fingers pressing into the flesh just above my hips. He tugged my body closer still, kindling flames low in my belly. He stepped me backward until my backside came to rest against the edge of the table.
The kiss broke, leaving both of us gasping. His head dipped to my neck. Feeling the tip of his nose under my ear—just above where he’d bitten me—I froze.
My tensing woke him, and with a last squeeze that let me feel how taut and hard his body had gone, he released me and stepped away.Drunk on his taste and smell and feel, I stumbled, and he muttered an oath as he reached out to steady me.
Our eyes met. “You’re not wrong to question what I feel under these strange circumstances, Mina. But I need you to understand—I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life. And even so, if my life were to end without me ever having more of you than that, I would die happy.”
A nod was all I could manage. It struck me how right he had been. How difficult it would be for us to live together yet never truly be man and wife. I wouldn’t be lonely anymore, but how I would burn for him. I now began to see how that could beworse. And if his strength failed him, what then? Could mine hold?
And this is Goosevar’s gamble.
His fingers came to lightly brush my cheek. Then he let out a breath and moved to the window that faced onto the garden.
The smell of browning crust filled the room, and I went to take out the pie. Still breathless, still holding on to the previous moment while I tried to carry on in the current one.
The pie’s filling bubbled as I scooped servings into two dishes—though I’d yet to see Harker eat.
Setting the food on the table, I said, “I’m not sure it will be edible. I’m not used to so much ...”
He turned. “Distraction.”
My face went hot. “Aye.”
He joined me at the table. I wondered what he’d do, and he did pick up a fork and take a bite. “It’s delicious, Mina.”
He was being kind, but itwashot and filling, and I found I was famished. “Eat as much or as little as you like. I know our appetites ... differ ... and you won’t offend me.”
But he ate it all, and once I’d had my fill, he stood and reached for my dish. “Why don’t you sleep now and let me clear up?”
“Just leave it for the morning,” I protested, rising slowly. I knew he was used to doing for himself, but I didn’t yet feel comfortable with the lord of the manor washing my supper dishes.
