Theodore let out a breath and stepped back, his eyes still on William.
“It’s okay,” I said, placing my hand on his arm and then looking at our patient. “You okay, William?”
“Are you done?” he murmured.
“All done.”
“Sorry for the screaming.”
I smiled. “I think you earned some screaming.”
“Will you still marry me?” he asked.
Theodore chuckled as he gathered the bloodied bandages I’d removed and took them up front to dispose of them.
“I don’t believe I ever agreed to marry you,” I said, watching the soldier fade into the haze of the morphine, his blue eyes disappearing behind increasingly slowed blinks.
“You want to say yes though. I can tell.”
My eyes traced his straight nose, chapped lips, and square jaw darkened by a shadow of whiskers. An ache I’d never felt before, low in my belly, made me want to run my fingers along his cheekbone.
“Die Sau,”I heard the young German say. It was a childhood insult to be called a swine. I’d been called worse. But I was on edge.
Losing my composure I turned and whispered,“Leck mich am Arsch!”watching his eyes widen in surprise at me telling him to screw off in his own language before I turned back to William and covered him again with his blanket.
“You speak German,” he said before turning his head away from me, the morphine finally taking full effect.
Shaking, I stepped back from him, horrified at what I’d done. I glanced around, seeing if anyone else had heard, and found myself staring into the eyes of the older German soldier in the top bunk who had managed to turn onto his side in the cramped quarters and was watching me quietly.
“You do good work,” he said, his English thickly accented. “My apologies for my comrades. They are young. Brainwashed. They have not seen the world like I have. They have no friends beyond the youth they have been forced into training with. They know nothing now beyond what they are fed, through their mouths, and through their ears.”
I inhaled.
“Then they should ask questions,” I said.
He shrugged. “Young men don’t ask questions. They think they know it all at that age. They think they understand the truth of it, don’t you, boys?” He glanced down at the men lying below him.“Du weibt alles, nicht wahr?”he said, asking in a cruel, teasing tone if they knew it all.
One of the soldiers snapped a curse at the older man, who chuckled in response.
“But if you know the truth,” I said, “why are you wearing that uniform?”
He sighed and held my gaze. Accepting of his part or defiant, I couldn’t tell. After a moment of silence, he waved away my question, turned onto his back, and closed his eyes.
I rested my hand on the edge of William’s bunk and took a breath.
“You okay?”
Startled, I looked up to find him watching me.
“I thought you were asleep,” I said, averting my eyes and pretending to be very busy tucking in his blanket.
“Not yet.” He was quiet for a moment and then: “You didn’t answer me.”
I sighed and met his eyes, my shoulders sagging as I nodded. “I’m fine. Thank you.”
He gave me a sleepy smile. “Fine is not okay. But I suppose it gets us by, doesn’t it?”
“It does the job. Or at least, it keepsusdoing the job.”
