I’d hesitated, staring out at the valley spread below us as I’d contemplated being honest. But in this time and place, there was danger in coming from where I did, born to the kind of people I had been born to. People whose circles had been the upper echelons of German society. People who had hosted the enemy himself in their home. I could be mistaken for something I wasn’t. Even by the one I loved. And so.
“They died in a car accident,” I’d said. “I was sixteen at the time.”
“That must’ve been so hard.”
I nodded, unable to meet his eyes for fear he’d see the lies within mine.
“Thankfully, I was already staying with my aunt and uncle at the time. They had a room for me for whenever I visited. They didn’t hesitate to take me in permanently.”
It was only then that I met his eyes, the lie now told. Mostly. What came after me moving in with my aunt and uncle was all truth.
He’d smiled sadly, squeezing my hand and, probably assuming it was hard for me to talk about, let it go, moving on to other happier subjects like me and him and our future together.
I twisted the ring around my finger now and stared at the pretty, modest stone, twinkling in the daylight.
“Please forgive me,” I whispered.
I tucked the box and my aunt’s letter back in my bag and then stood, stretching my back and breathing in the warm, late summer air. I wondered, once I’d left, if I’d ever come back here. Or if I’d go straight to the States and never return to this place. Maybe I’d meet William there. Maybe we’d make plans to meet somewhere else.
I looked toward the base as an airplane flew in. For as long as I could remember, this had been my purpose. To help. To try and alleviate the guilt I felt for my country’s failings. I trained for it. I was proud of the lives I’d saved, the hands I’d held, and the teams I’d been part of. I hoped this wasn’t the end, just a pause in my service to the country I’d adopted. And I hoped my country, its men, and my chosen sisters would understand one day when I finally stopped telling the lies and told my whole truth.
A soft breeze ruffled the leaves of the tree and I rested my hand against its beautiful old trunk, smiling as I thought of William, what a romantic he was, and our time here.
“We’ll be back,” I whispered, and then slipped through the stone wall and rode my bike home.
Hazel sat staring up at me from her bed, a blue scarf holding her dark hair back, brow furrowed, lips parted silently as if waiting for her brain to absorb what I’d just told her and deliver a response.
“But...” she said, her frown deepening. “For how long? Are you coming back?”
I’d told her what I’d told Marlene, the head nurse, only moments before. There’d been a death in the family and I had to go home. It wasn’t a complete lie. My father had died. They didn’t need to know who or that he’d passed a year ago.
“I’m planning on it,” I said. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone, but hopefully I’ll be back soon.”
“I’ll throw a fit if you’re not!” she said. “Will you leave your things here then?”
I looked around. I hadn’t thought about that. But since I was planning on returning eventually...
“If that’s okay with you?” I said. “I can box them up so they’re out of your way though.”
Or in case I didn’t come back and they replaced me. But I didn’t say that.
I didn’t leave for a week, which left me plenty of time to work, pack, determine what I should box up and store beneath my cot for my return, shop for clothing I’d need, and write letters, both to Aunt Vic, and to William.
I’d told Lee of my decision the day after I’d made it, hurrying into town after my shift to leave a message with the front desk of his hotel. A response was waiting for me at home when I returned the following evening, tired and sad after learning I’d missed William by an hour the day before, him turning up after I’d already left.
“He was here?” I’d asked the young doctor who’d told me.
“He was,” he said, a sympathetic smile on his face. “He left a letter for you. It’s at the front desk.”
“Was he okay then?” I asked. “He wasn’t here because he was injured, was he?”
“Nah. He flew in with a plane full of injured and took a dozen or so recovered soldiers back with him. Was hoping to catch you, that’s all.”
I sighed. We had hoped our paths would cross often, especially as the Allies pushed their way through France, taking back what Germany had taken previously. But though my stops moved along with the border the soldiers created, we’d yet to see one another since he’d left.
I’d run to grab the letter he’d left, then hurried back to check my new crop of patients and help get them loaded for England.
My letter to Aunt Vic was full of gratefulness for her help, and apologies for not heeding her pleas and warnings.
