I’m feeling insignificant.
I quickly dress, putting on my silk top and my shorts before heading toward the balcony to take a breath of fresh air. I’m cold, but I don’t care. I feel like I’ve been sunburned and now I’m paying the price for exposing myself to Aaron, without protecting my heart from him. I look over at the full moon, shining and smiling wickedly at me. Judging me.Happy now? You got fucked by Aaron LeBeau. I need to swallow my pride and to call it like it was: animal sex. Casual sex. Nothing more. I needed him, I can’t regret my choice.
“Elle,” I hear his husky voice call from behind me.
I take a deep breath, commanding myself to not let my emotions lead me. When I turn to look over him, he is already fully dressed, wearing something sporty that shows his muscular body underneath, and he looks gorgeous. Is it so bad that I want to do it all again? He is like a drug, and I’m an addict. But unfortunately, no anonymous meetings will help me solve my addiction. I thought succumbing to my desire would drive me away from him, but instead, it left me craving more. I’m the Red Riding Hood and I’ve fallen into the lonely Wolf’s trap.
“You are going out?” I stare expressionless, pretending to be disinterested. We don’t owe each other anything. He is not mine. He’ll never be.
“You shouldn’t stay on the balcony or you are gonna catch a cold,” he replies, distant, like nothing has happened between us.
“I’m fine.” Truth is, I’m freezing, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“I’m heading to the bar downstairs. Do you want something?” I shake my head, no. I feel like he is forcing himself to have this conversation. He doesn’t want to talk to me. He wants to leave.
I was his escape, and now I’m the one he needs to escape from.
“Goodnight, Elle. Don’t wait up for me.”
And just like that, he leaves.
Message received.
One step. One breath. One song. It’s seven a.m., the sun begins to rise. I’m running somewhere near the track. I don’t think Aaron saw me leaving, he was still asleep. The music rising from my headphones is bleeding into my ears as I’m trying to escape my thoughts. Mental flashbacks of our heated night are capturing my mind, haunting my body. Him… the way he touched me… our synchronized breathes… his raspy voice. His scent. The sweat of our bodies connecting.Snap out of it!
An hour or so later of running, I still can’t erase the images of last night. My five senses remember everything. I run faster to erase the mark he left on my soul, but the more I’m pushing, the more I’m falling. So, I stop out of breath near the hotel, my hands on my knees and my head down, my eyes blinking.
“Problems?” I catch sight of Louis Harmil in front of me, sitting on the stairs with a cup of coffee. He looks like he hasn’t slept all night, as if he has seen a ghost.
“What about you?” I retort and stand up, adjusting my ponytail.
“It’s better to be prepared.” He is lost in his thoughts, eying the ground. “Aaron will cringe if he knew you were talking to me.”
“He doesn’t own me.” I raise my eyebrow, aware that I just hinted to Louis that something is wrong between Aaron and me. Not my smartest decision.
“Trouble in paradise?” He smirks, his emerald eyes meeting mine. Is he enjoying this? His mood changes radically. I really can’t figure him out.
“No. Not at all,” I lie.
“You know he won’t change his ways for you, right?”
“That won’t work on me, Louis. I know you don’t have Aaron’s best interest at heart.” For an unknown reason, I start feeling anxious when Louis chuckles at me.
He puts his cup of coffee in the trash before standing in front of me, anger sparking in his eyes. “And neither does he with yours. You should probably wonder where he was last night… and with who.”
He leaves, and I feel like I just received a dagger in my heart. The venom he spits consumes my cells, and I’m left with intense jealousy and pain. Is it possible that he already moved on? A couple of hours after he marked me. All of my insecurities come back. He used me in a way I thought he never would, breaking the confidence I’ve tried to regain. I need to know. I rush into the lobby, my heart racing, anxiety taking control of me. Once again, I wasn’t good enough. Once again, I’ve misplaced my trust. Once again, I’m stuck in my old ways.
I’m almost at the elevator, rushing, my head spinning, not thinking straight, and ignoring everything around me when a hand grabs my wrist. I turn back and I see him. Aaron LeBeau in his red racing suit. He has circles under his eyes, messy hair, his gaze is impenetrable.
“Elle. I have been looking for you! Where were you? Your phone is off!” he shouts.
“I’ve been running,” I reply in a dry tone, trying to keep control, to not be weak. I remember my mother’s words.If you cry once in front of a man because of him, you give him the certitude that you belong to him. The certitude that he will break you again. The certitude that he owns you.
“You could have just told me.” His possessive tone irritates me. I chuckle, clearly amused.
“Why do you care? I heard you were well occupied,” I snap, my eyes narrowing at him. Truth is, he has always been honest with me. I’ve accepted the game—burn my rules, I’m the one at fault. He furrows his brow, trying to understand my change of behavior. I shake my head. “I don’t care who you bang—or how many women you bang in one night—but I thought you wanted to take racing seriously.”
“Aaron, I couldn’t—” A beautiful woman walks toward us checking her phone. When she notices me, she gives me a bright smile. “Oh, you must be Elle. I’m Monica.”
