No security.
No come back.
I slide my dress to the floor, confused by my feelings. I take a step closer toward the pool, standing in my red lace underwear. He swims toward me, his pupils darkening with desire. Without knowing it, slowly he is inking my soul until he possesses my entire human being. I let go of my heels before pulling my hair to my back. My eyes connect with his, giving me the strength to overcome my demons. I unclip my bra before swallowing my insecurities. I never thought I’d have the confidence to strip in front of a man. But seeing myself through his eyes, it’s overpowering. I slide my bra to the floor as my breasts pop free. My nipples harden because of the cold air around us, and I let go of my panties, before sitting on the border of the pool next to him, putting only my toes in the water.
“Is something wrong?” He furrows his brow, trying to interpret my silence.
Yes. Everything is wrong. I’m aching for him so badly. I feel butterflies. I’m falling too hard. Too soon. And one sign from him will be enough to make me fall fully. Deeply. This is unreal. I shake my head, promising myself I will never let himownme. I can’t possibly say the L world. Stephan damaged it for me. Everyone did. This is my secret.
He stands in front of me, water reaching his abs. His hands caress my thighs sensually before grabbing my waist and lifting me slowly to pull me closer to his chest. I wrap my legs around his hips and throw my arms around his neck, my breasts connecting with his chest, as I feel the water warming my body. He encircles his arms around my back, and I smile when I feel his hardness pressing against me, but this moment isn’t about sex. It’s more than that. We are taking our time until we can’t take it.
I kiss his wet lips while his fingers tangle in my hair with a tender touch. Slow. Sensual. As if the world stopped spinning, as if everything is disappearing around us, except him. He brings us closer to the edge of the pool to admire the view, and I sit on his lap. He is making it so hard for me. He is torturing my soul without even knowing it.
“This is wonderful, Aaron.”You are wonderful.
“I also have a gift for you, but that is for later.” He grins, but I notice he is uncomfortable. He isn’t used to the emotional connection. To proximity. But he is trying. For me.
He clears his throat before showing me the yellowish sky lanterns on the table next to us. “You know what those are for?”
“Not really.” I know it is a cultural thing, but I have no idea what they’re truly about.
“They’re used for cleansing, letting go of everything that troubles you. They symbolize the beginning. A new you, sort of.” He stops, struggling to find his words. “Since you’re turning twenty-four today, I thought these could erase… some bad memories.” I immediately think of Stephan’s abusive touch. His devastating words that inked into my heart. The shameful insecurities he created in me.
I stare at Aaron, not finding the right words. He understands me. He knew what I need before I could possibly know it myself. He shows me he cares in his own way. The man who doesn’t do romance, gives me today the promise of a future. The promise for us to let go of our demons. The ones who block our futures. The ones who don’t allow us to heal.
“Thank you, Aaron.” I smile smugly, trying to not sounds so emotional. “How I’m supposed to do it?”
“I’m not really sure. Just make a wish, your deepest desire, and then light up the lantern before sending it to the sky.”
“Do it with me,” I implore him my doe eyes.
Aaron clears his throat and analyzes me as if he is trying to find out if he can trust me. I take his hand and pull my body closer to his, my voice weak, attempting one more time to get him to open himself to me. “I know your past is off-limits but I…I want to know you. Everything about you.”
A deep feeling of sadness washes over him as he takes a deep breath. “Do you remember the first night we arrived at the Canadian Grand Prix?” I nod. It was the day Monica called, and he was exhausting himself at the gym.
“Well, it was my brother’s day of death. And I was with you, having such a good time that I—” He stares at the water, his eyes haunted. “That I forgot about it, until Monica made me remember.” His mouth twists into a repulsive smile as if he is blaming himself for moving on.
“He died two years ago, and it was my fault.” His voice is trembling, his emotions trying to take control. “I killed my brother, Elle.” His piercing stare meets mine, and all I see is his pain.
I part my lips, holding my breath. “I’m sure it wasn’t your fault,” I whisper, caressing his arm to ease his soul. “I’m here, Aaron.”
“You won’t see me the same way.”
“I doubt that.” I bring my head to his chest, encircling his body with my arms, before looking up for him. “You can trust me.”
He stares at me mournfully, as if he is ready to say goodbye. I take his hand into mine. “You can’t keep everything to yourself.” I give him an encouraging head nod, feeling he is about to tell me the truth.
After a long silence, he finally speaks. “That day, I had a fight with a bunch of nobodies. I was enraged.” He furrows his brow like he is trying to erase a painful memory, his fists tighten, and his eyes redden. “I wasn’t myself.” He pulls away from me before staring, emotionless, at the view in front of us.
“I was supposed to bring my brother to a work meeting, but our car was at the mechanic to repair a fog light, so I borrowed Thomas’ sports car instead.” He clenches the border of the pool with his fists. “When I race, I forget. My brother was talking, but I was barely hearing him.”
Wolf’s expression turns into a disgustful look. “There was a traffic light, I know it was green. I saw it.” His throat is trembling, his mouth is shaking, all his muscles are tensing. He turns to face me, a profound pain in his eyes. “I saw it green, Elle, I swear.”
I take his hand while he peers away from me again. I try to blink away the tears that are already forming under my eyes, seeing him suffering like this. “So, I continued to race but I don’t know what happened. A truck arrived from the other corner of the road at full speed. And slams into us. He was heading straight toward us without slowing down, I tried to turn the car away but it was too late. I’m a fucking Formula 1 driver and I couldn’t—”
He thunders a scream of rage, and my heart drops. I struggle to stay standing up, feeling his whole pain as he continues to tell his personal nightmare. “I survived, but my brother… he died from the injuries of the accident. I couldn’t save him. I fucking killed him.” He walks away from me, his back facing me as if he doesn’t want me to notice his agony.
I struggle to speak, erasing the tears that have wet my cheek. “Aaron, accidents happen. I can’t imagine—”
