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She’d obviously hoped I would be like him. I could even hear echoes of long-ago conversations between her and Auggie, discussing their hopes and dreams for themselves and me. Armstrong Labs was more than my father’s legacy; it was Momma’s too.
I was startled out of my reverie by the voice I loved most, even though part of me wished I didn’t.
“Scarlett,” Kane said my name a tad breathily.
I tucked some hair behind my ear as he approached. “Hi. You were amazing today.”
He stood in front of me, close but not too close. He seemed to be torn on how to behave around me now, even shoving his hands in his pockets. I admit, I ached to have him run a finger down my cheek or even brush the hair back off my shoulder. However, I understood why he kept his distance. In some ways, I was even grateful for it.
“Thank you,” he responded. “You were brilliant.”
“You’re lying, but thanks.”
“I mean it; your last line was gold. Your joke wasn’t half-bad either,” he teased.
I cringed thinking about it. “Please, don’t remind me.” Note to self: never tell a joke again.
“I’ll only bring it up on special occasions.” He laughed.
I rolled my eyes, but smiled.
“Really, Scarlett, you did well. The information you presented was well thought out and insightful.”
I knew he was only saying it to make me feel better. And I appreciated it, I really did, but we both knew he had outshone me. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“Are you headed in to eat? I think Jaycie has us all at the same table.”
Internally, I groaned. Jaycie was truly lovely, but she and Kane were so at ease with one another, and I didn’t need the visual. “Uh, yeah. I’m going to freshen up first.” I don’t think I had ever used those words. I was never one to check my hair and makeup.
“Great.”
“Yes, great.” That sounded ridiculous, but I didn’t know what else to say, and neither of us seemed to want to leave. It was like blind date–level awkward between us. I hated it. I was the only one who should be awkward. He should be charming and making me feel better about all the awkwardness. The truth was, though, things were more than complicated. Soon, one of us would be very disappointed, and we would blame the other person. Let’s be real—I was going to be the disappointed one. The question was, how disappointed would I be? A war raged within me. On one hand, I longed to continue the dreams of my family. On the other, I yearned to follow my own. But I worried that it was a selfish choice. How could I give up saving lives for working for the dead? I knew that Naomi, and people like her, gave families closure and peace. Answers were magical things. But so were life-saving treatments.
I had no idea what to do or even if it was possible to continue my family’s legacy. Kane all but had it in the bag unless I worked a serious miracle.
Without another word, I turned to go find the ladies’ room. Being in Kane’s presence was hard to bear. There was so much between us, good and bad, that once again I found myself wanting to run away from him. I never knew a person could have so many conflicting feelings at one time, and I had no idea where or how to start processing them. So I went with my go-to—run. I wasn’t proud of it.
Kane, once again, wouldn’t let me, as if he knew I would regret it. He grabbed my hand, though seemingly reluctant at first. But once he’d caught ahold of me, his grip tightened. As did mine of its own accord, as if my body knew better than me what I needed in that moment.
Kane’s eyes bored into mine as if he himself were searching for answers. “Are you planning on taking one of the cars out on the track?”
I wasn’t expecting his question. I’d hoped for something more meaningful. “Um . . . I don’t know.” Driving sports cars wasn’t really my thing. Pretending I was a racecar driver was even less my thing.
Kane tugged me closer. “Do you remember the first time you drove a Porsche?” He spoke so intimately.
How could I forget? I could only nod my response. If I spoke, I knew too much emotion would flood my voice. That night was one of the best nights of my life. Not only because Kane had kissed me for the first time but also because it was the first time I’d felt free to be me. To live in the moment and let go.
“I’ll never forget how beautiful you looked that night. The thrill of the moment showed in your smile. You deserve to live your life like that. Stop being afraid to go for what you want, Scarlett,” he begged.
