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“Okay. Call me later. I want to hear everything about how this all happened.”
If only I knew. “Goodbye.” I hung up and immediately opened the YouTube app on my phone. I couldn’t take any chances that my work laptop was being monitored. I felt lame searching for kissing tutorials, but on the off chance Kane wanted to kiss me, I should be prepared. I only hoped this didn’t turn out like the unused prom dress. I would clear my searches just in case.
Several tutorials popped up. So maybe I wasn’t the only inexperienced person on the planet. I wasn’t exaggerating when I’d told Auggie that most fourteen-year-olds had more experience than me. In fact, some of these tutorials looked like they were being done by kids around that age.
I scrolled through several until one title caught my eye: How to Kiss Like a Goddess. Yes! That was the ticket.
I clicked on the video, and some cute nerdy guy appeared. He was more my style. Not to say I wasn’t completely smitten with Kane, but I was beginning to think some major shift had happened in the space-time continuum and our coming together was due to a massive rise in solar flare radiation or something that NASA should probably look into.
I grabbed my pad of paper and pen to take notes. I would burn them later leaving no evidence of how lame I am. At first, the video wasn’t as promising as I’d hoped; he started rambling on and on about masculine and feminine energies coming together. I needed technique and a step-by-step guide. Then his girlfriend came on and started talking about how you’ll know when you’re on the same wavelength as him. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t know that. She also stated I would know when the kiss was coming. I was going to have to disagree with that one, too. I almost chose a different video, but then the guy pulled out a whiteboard with a list. This was exactly what I needed.
Number one was to never ask him to kiss you. That wasn’t going to be an issue—I would rather stab myself in the eye than do that. Instead, he said, you should invite him nonverbally to kiss you. Look at his mouth, then his eyes, and lick your lips. Okay. I could do that.
The next step was to let there be an awkward pause in the conversation. Perfect. I was totally awkward. This was my kind of list. Well, it was at the start. The following bullet points were intimidating, to say the least.
Meet his lips gently.
Don’t tilt the wrong way.
How would I know I was tilting the wrong way? What if Kane went the same way as me?
Close your eyes. Keep it creative. Use your tongue and body.
Creative? How do you kiss creatively? Was my tongue supposed to do something special? What should I do with my body? My body and I usually had differing opinions. Like I didn’t want to trip and fall, but I did more often than was probably normal or healthy. What I really needed was specifics, please, and a demonstration. Not that my body and tongue would cooperate, but I was hoping for a fighting chance here. I was sure Kane had kissed his fair share of goddesses already.
Wrap your arms around his neck and use your nails to graze his skin.
I looked down at my short nails. Um . . . that was a no go.
Kiss all his hot spots. I paid close attention to this piece of advice. I had no idea about hot spots, unless you counted using my phone’s Bluetooth for cellular reception. That was about as hot as I got. Hence me watching YouTube tutorials about kissing.
Ears. Men love for their ears to be kissed. Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed that. Would I like someone to kiss my ear? It seemed silly.
Don’t forget the inner ear; use your tongue. I giggled to myself. Wasn’t that like a wet willy? Uh, I wasn’t so sure about this.
Kiss his neck, and don’t forget his collarbone.
All right, I might be able to manage that, except what if his shirt was covering his collarbone? Thoughts of me unbuttoning Kane’s shirt popped into my head. Whoa, what a vision. I swallowed hard.
Don’t forget about his nipples.
“What!” I yelled out into my office. His nipples? Nope. No way. I clicked out of the tutorial.
I set my phone down, practically hyperventilating. I needed a paper bag. I had no idea kissing was so involved. Did Kane really love to have his nipples kissed like that man said? Or a tongue in his ear? Was that something he expected from the women he dated? Definitely needed that paper bag. Maybe this was why Kane hadn’t kissed me yet—he knew I wasn’t up for the challenge.
