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But now, I realize that Damon’s not serious about either me or Saucy Nights. He merely wants to have fun. He wants to enjoy my body, and to dabble with a sweet, innocent girl while it lasts. But when it comes to real commitment, it’s clear that nothing will happen on either the business or pleasure fronts.
8
Rose
Work has been better lately. I haven’t told Damon that I started seeing other men again, but I don’t really feel like I have an option. After all, he’s not going to invest in Saucy Nights. He wants to play with me, and to sate himself using my curves, but this isn’t a long-term thing. As a result, I need to take care of myself, and that means resuming my duties as an escort.
At first, it was hard. It was difficult to even get dressed for my dates, much less look the men in the eye and smile. But I’ve gotten used to it. After all, Damon’s not going to be with me forever, and I won’t be able to depend on the stipend he’s been depositing in my bank account each month. As a result, a girl’s got to take care of herself, and for me, that means seeing clients once more.
Don’t get me wrong, the work still sucks for the most part. For example, my date tonight was mediocre. The guy was pretty nice, but unfortunately, quite whiny. Eric is an accountant who works upwards of seventy hours a week, which blows me away. How anyone can stare at numbers on a computer screen that long is beyond me, but he does it. Maybe that’s why he’s pasty and doughy, with Coke-bottle glasses and a cowlick that sticks straight up from the back of his head.
Even worse, Eric wanted to complain too. He says he has emotional and physical needs to be met, but he doesn’t have the time to put himself towards finding someone to take care of those needs for him. He tells me it wouldn’t be fair to drag a girl into a relationship when he already has such a hectic work life.
I get it, and it makes sense in a way. We hear this in our industry a lot, and I think he’s doing the right thing to hire a girl through an escort service who won’t have expectations. This way, he’ll be able to have the girlfriend experience, without actually having to commit more than a few hours of his time.
But he left disappointed because I didn’t fulfill Eric’s physical needs tonight. If he’d booked me a few months back, maybe I would have. After all, he’s kind of handsome despite the bad clothes, and seems harmless. But I don’t engage in any sexual activity with my clients now that I’m with Damon. Even if there are no long-term prospects in my personal life, it still wouldn’t feel right.
After the date, I returned back home to my own apartment, feeling a bit morose. It was dark and gloomy, and exhausted, I flipped on the light switch, revealing my shabby little place with the raggedy afghan tossed over my couch. I smiled ruefully. Over the last several months I’ve been staying primarily at Damon’s place, but on the nights that I work, I obviously come back to my own apartment. I don’t want him to know that I’ve been escorting again, even if there’s no physical contact.
But it’s not just that. I’ve been feeling sick the last couple of days and I don’t want my gorgeous man to see me green and sweaty. This morning it was even worse. I was at Damon’s apartment and woke up about an hour before him, nausea rising in my stomach. I bolted out of bed and ran like a jackrabbit to a bathroom down the hall, bile tickling the back of my throat. Even though Damon has an adjoining en suite, I didn’t want him to hear me yakking.
Then, I took a long, hot shower after to try to settle myself down. I rubbed a sudsy loofah along every curve of my body, and then gargled with mouthwash three times after brushing my teeth twice. I didn’t want Damon to notice that anything was wrong.
But in my heart of hearts, I know what’s happening because my breasts have been tender and I’ve had the strangest food cravings, like oatmeal with chicken tenders. When was my last period? Too long ago.
As a result, I stopped at a drugstore on my way home from my date tonight. Now, I have the plastic bag in my hand, and I make my way to my bathroom. Turning on the light, I look at myself. Ugh, my skin looks pasty under the fluorescence, and my make-up far too garish, but this isn’t the time to worry about appearances. I have much more important duties to attend to.
