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The twins were both engrossed in the TVs installed in the back of the front seats. Sander was concentrating on his driving. Now wasn’t the time to think about that night, she told herself. But it was too late. The memories were already storming her defences and flooding over them.
Her parents’ death in an accident had been a terrible shock, followed by her sister’s decision to sell their family home. Ruby hadn’t realised then that their parents had died heavily in debt. Her oldest sister had tried to protect her by not telling her, and so she had assumed that her decision to sell the house was motivated by the decision to set up her own interior design business in Cheshire. Angry with her sister, she had deliberately chosen to befriend a girl new to the area, knowing that her sister disapproved of the freedom Tracy’s parents allowed her, and of Tracy herself. Although she was only eighteen months older than Ruby, Tracy had been far more worldly, dressing in tight-fitting clothes in the latest and skimpiest fashions, her hair dyed blonde and her face heavily made-up.
Secretly, although she hadn’t been prepared to admit it—especially not to her older sister—Ruby had been shocked by some of the disclosures Tracy had made about the things she had done. Tracy’s goal in life was to get a footballer boyfriend. She had heard that young footballers in Manchester patronised a certain club in the city, and had asked Ruby to go there with her.
Alarmed by Tracy’s disclosures, Ruby hadn’t really wanted to go. But when she had tried to say so, telling Tracy that she doubted her sister would give her permission, Tracy had mocked her and accused her of being a baby who needed her sister’s permission for everything she did. Of course Ruby had denied that she was any such thing, whereupon Tracy had challenged her to prove it by daring her to go with her.
She had been just seventeen, and a very naive seventeen at that, with her whole world turned upside down by events over which she’d had no control. But no matter how often both her sisters had reassured her since then that her rebellion had been completely natural, understandable, and that she was not to blame for what had happened, Ruby knew that deep down inside she would always feel guilty.
Before they’d left for Manchester Tracy had promised Ruby a ‘makeover’ and poured them both a glass of vodka and orange juice. It had gone straight to Ruby’s head as she had never drunk alcohol. The drink had left her feeling so ligh
t-headed that she hadn’t protested or objected when Tracy had insisted that Ruby change into one of her own short skirts and a tight-fitting top, before making up Ruby’s face in a similar style to her own, with dark eyeliner, heavy thick mascara loaded on her eyelashes and lots of deep pink lipgloss.
The girl staring back at Ruby from the mirror, with her tousled hair and her pink pout had been so unrecognisable as herself that under the effect of the vodka and orange Ruby had only been able to stare at her reflection in dizzy astonishment.
She might only have been seventeen, but she had known even before she had watched Tracy sweet talking the bouncer into letting them into the club that neither her parents nor her sisters would have approved of her being there, but by then she had been too afraid of Tracy’s mockery and contempt to tell her that she had changed her mind and wanted to go home.
She’d watched other girls going in—older girls than her, dressed up to the nines in tiny little tops and skirts that revealed dark sunbed tans—and she’d known instinctively and immediately that she would feel out of place.
Inside, the club had been hot and stuffy, packed with girls with the same goal in mind as Tracy.
Several young men had come up to them as they’d stood close to the bar. Tracy had refused Ruby’s suggestion that they sit down at a tucked-away table with a derisory, ‘Don’t be daft—no one will see us if we do that.’ But Tracy had shaken her head, ignoring the boys and telling Ruby, ‘They’re nothing. Just ordinary lads out on the pull.’
She’d bought them both drinks—cocktails which had seemed innocuous when Ruby sipped thirstily at hers, because of the heat in the club, but which had quickly made her feel even more dizzy and disorientated than the vodka and orange juice had done.
The club had been packed and noisy, and Ruby’s head had begun to ache. She had felt alien and alone, with the alcohol heightening her emotions: bringing home to her the reality of her parents’ death, bringing to a head all the despair and misery she had been feeling.
Tracy had started talking to a young man, deliberately excluding Ruby from their conversation and keeping her back to her.
Suddenly and achingly Ruby had longed for the security of the home life she had lost—of knowing that there was someone in her life to take care of her and protect her, someone who loved her, instead of getting cross with her like her elder sister did. And that had been when she had looked across the bar and seen Sander.
Something about him had set him apart from the other men in the bar. For a start he’d been far more smartly dressed, in a suit, with his dark hair groomed, and an air of command and power and certainty had emanated from him that Ruby’s insecure senses immediately recognised and were drawn to… In her alcohol-induced state, Sander had looked like an island of security and safety in a sea of confusion and misery. She hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him, and when he had looked back at her, her mouth had gone so dry with the anticipation of speaking to him that she had had to wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. The way that Sander’s gaze had followed that movement, showing her that he was singling her out from all the other girls in the bar, had reinforced Ruby’s cocktail-produced belief that there was a link between them—that he was drawing her to him, that they were meant to meet, and that somehow once she was close to him she would be safe, and he would save her from her own fears and protect her just as her parents had done.
She had no memory of actually going to him, only of reaching him, feeling like a swimmer who had crested turbulent waves to reach the security of a calm sea where she could float safely. When she had smiled up at Sander she had felt as though she already knew him. But of course she hadn’t. She hadn’t known anything, Ruby reflected bitterly now, as she dragged her thoughts away from the past and massaged her throbbing temple as Sander drove onto the motorway slip road and the car picked up speed.
CHAPTER FOUR
SANDER had booked them into the Carlton Towers Hotel, just off Sloane Street. They had an enormous suite of three bedrooms, each with its own bathroom, and a good-sized sitting room as well.
Ruby had felt dreadfully out of place as they’d walked through the downstairs lobby, compared with the elegantly groomed women surrounded by expensive-looking shopping bags who were having afternoon tea in the lounge. But she had soon forgotten them once they had been shown into their suite and she had realised that Sander would be staying in the suite with them.
Her heart was beating far too fast, her whole body suddenly charged and sensitised, so that she was far too aware of Sander. His presence in the room, even though there were several feet between them and he was fully dressed, somehow had the same effect on her body as though he was standing close to her and touching her. The sound of his voice made her think she could almost feel the warmth of his breath on her skin. Her body was starting to react even to her thoughts, tiny darts of sensation heightening her awareness of him.
He raised his hand, gesturing towards the bedrooms as he told her, ‘I’ve asked for one of the rooms to be made up with twin beds for the boys.’
Inside her head she could feel that hand cupping her breast. Beneath her clothes her breasts swelled and ached whilst she tried desperately to stifle her body’s arousal. Why was this happening to her? She’d lived happily without sex for nearly six years. Why was her body reacting like this now?
It was just reacting to memory, that was all. Her desire for Sander, like that memory, belonged to the past and had no place in the present. Ruby tried to convince herself, but she knew that it wasn’t true. The fact that he could arouse her to intense desire for him was something she didn’t want to think about. Her stomach was churning, adding to the feeling of nausea already being produced by her headache. She had actually been sick when they had stopped for a break at a motorway service station, and had had to purchase a travel pack of toothbrush and toothpaste to refresh her mouth. Now all she really wanted to do was lie down in a dark room, but of course that was impossible.
‘You and I will occupy the other two rooms, of course,’ Sander was saying. ‘I expect that you will wish to have the room closest to the boys?’
‘I could have shared a room with them,’ was Ruby’s response. Because sharing with the boys would surely prevent any more of those unwanted memories from surfacing? ‘There was no need for you to book three rooms.’
‘If I had only booked two the hotel would have assumed you would be sharing my bed, not sleeping with the twins,’ was Sander’s response.
Immediately another image flashed through her head: two naked bodies entwined on a large bed, the man’s hands holding and caressing the woman, whilst her head was thrown back in wild ecstasy. Sander’s hands and her head. Heat filled her body. Her own mental images were making her panic. What she was experiencing was probably caused by the same kind of thing that caused the victims of dreadful trauma to have flashbacks they couldn’t control, she told herself. They meant nothing other than that Sander’s unexpected and unwanted reappearance in her life was causing her to remember the event that had had such a dramatic effect on her life.
To her relief the twins, who had been inspecting the suite, came rushing into the sitting room. Harry ran over to her to inform her, ‘Guess what? There’s a TV in our bedroom, and—’
