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'I've been meaning—'
'I wanted—'
Both of them started to speak at once and then stopped.
'I was going to get in touch,' Oh via began, 'But I was afraid...I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd refused to accept my apology. My behaviour was unfor—'
'Livvy, Livvy, I would never do that,' Jenny protested, so plainly distressed by what Olivia had said that the younger woman felt some of her weary tension start to ease away.
'I think we can all appreciate what a difficult time you've been having,' Jenny continued gently. 'The break-up of any relationship is traumatic.'
As she heard the loving compassion in Jenny's voice Olivia's eyes began to smart.
'Oh, Aunt Jenny...'
As she saw the way Olivia's body was shaking Jenny reacted instinctively, putting her arms around her and holding her close.
'It's all right, Livvy, it's all right....' She soothed her, much as she would have done had Olivia still been a little girl who had so often come to her with her problems. Wisely Jenny let her cry, sensing that Olivia needed the release.
'Are you having second thoughts about separating from Caspar?' she asked her forthrightly when Olivia had eventually pulled back from her and accepted the tissue Jenny had proffered.
'It's too late for that,' Olivia responded. Not even to Jenny could she bring herself to admit to the chaotic turmoil of her feelings or the grief that was threatening to overwhelm her. But grief from what? Not for the sterile hostile territory their marriage had become. No, her grief was for what their relationship had once been and for the love they had once shared but had now lost.
'Livvy,' Jenny said as Olivia got herself back under control. 'I wish I could do something to help you with the girls but at the moment...'
'It's all right. I do understand,' Olivia assured her immediately—and meant it.
'I've got them into an after-school creche for now but that can only be a temporary measure. Do you think it's worth asking Chrissie Cooke if she knows of anyone? Her husband is related to more than half the town one way or another.'
'I'll ask her for you, if you like,' Jenny offered immediately. She hesitated. She held no brief for David but her conscience forced her to point out quietly,
'Have you thought of asking David and Honor, Livvy?
I'm not trying to lecture you, but David is the girls'
grandfather and I know from what Jon's said that he desperately wants to be able to get to know them properly.'
'My father...' Livvy's face had gone white with angry rejection. 'Do you really think I'd do that, no matter how desperate I was?' She gave her aunt a small tight bitter smile.
Jenny knew just how Olivia would react but she had felt duty bound to make the suggestion.
'Oh, Jenny,' Olivia began, abruptly burying her head in her hands.
'Why did he have to come back? Why couldn't he have stayed where he was? Just knowing he's here in Haslewich makes me feel...makes me want...' Olivia turned her face away. How could she explain the feelings of alienation and anger that had possessed her since her father's return when she couldn't fully understand them herself?
'I'm so sorry, I've got to go,' Jenny told her with regret. 'I've got my own supermarket shop to do and Queensmead's, and I want to get Jack's things ironed before he goes back to university tomorrow.'
Jack's home?' Olivia demanded in surprise.
'An unofficial visit,' Jenny told her wryly, briefly explaining what had happened.
'Well it's no use expecting Dad to talk to Jack about moral values and obligations,' Olivia told her aunt bitterly. 'I'm sorry,' she apologised to Jenny, 'But I just can't help it.'
'I'll be in touch,' Jenny told her as they both stood up. 'And I'll have a word with Chrissie and ask her if she knows of anyone suitable to help out with the girls.'
'You're the best,' Olivia told her gruffly. 'You don't know how much I've been hating myself for—'
'It's over...forgotten,' Jenny told her quietly, 'And Livvy...don't ever think that you don't matter or that your uncle Jon and I don't care. You're very special to us and you always will be.'
As they turned to go their separate ways, Olivia's heart felt infinitely lighter than it had done.
BEFORE HEADING for the supermarket Jenny dialled Chrissie's number on her mobile and quickly explained the problems Olivia was having finding someone to help her with her daughters.
'Well, I don't know anyone, but I'll certainly ask around,' Guy's wife confirmed immediately.
They chatted for a few more minutes and Chrissie, like everyone else, was anxious to know about Maddy, asking Jenny to pass on to her her good wishes for her continued recovery.
SARA AND Frances were sharing a working lunch when Chrissie arrived, kissing her sister-in-law warmly and shaking her head over her offer of something to eat.
'I'm trying to watch my weight,' she groaned. 'Guy is taking us to Tuscany next summer and I'm determined to fit into my pre-baby bikinis!
'Look, I know it's a long shot,' she continued, 'But Jenny Crighton rang me earlier. Olivia is desperate to find someone to help her with the girls now that she and Caspar have separated and she was wondering if we knew of anyone.'
Frowning a little Frances shook her head. 'I know of plenty of potential babysitters, but there isn't anyone old enough or experienced enough to act as a proper help.'
'No, that's what Jenny thought. She feels very guilty that she can't offer.'
'Poor Livvy, I feel so sorry for her,' Frances sighed.
'Catch me not being there to help any of my children if they needed me. I know that Jenny has been like a mother to Livvy but you'd think that Livvy's own mother would be only too delighted to offer her help.'
'Well, you'd certainly think so,' Chrissie agreed,
'but from what I've heard, Tania was never much of a mother to either Livvy or Jack and by all accounts she's shown no interest in her grandchildren at all.'
Sara had started to stiffen when they began to discuss Grandmamma Tania. She was dying to defend her, to put her side of the story, but how could she?
How would it look if she suddenly admitted to a relationship which she had never previously mentioned?
Frances had been more than kind to her and Sara acknowledged that the older woman would have every right to feel that Sara had behaved deceitfully in not mentioning the relationship earlier. Not that she had intended deliberately to conceal it, but... But she now found herself in a position which was making her feel both guilty and uncomfortable.
'Perhaps Olivia's mother doesn't know she needs her help,' was all she dared allow herself to say.
'Well, she certainly knows that she's a grandmother,' Chrissie answered pithily, 'and despite Olivia's offers to take the children to see her she's always managed to come up with some excuse not to see them.'
Sara was stunned. This wasn't the way her grandmamma told the story. Though she remembered her father had sometimes been acerbic in his reaction to Tania's never getting to see either her children or her grandchildren. Perhaps there was some truth in his comments after all.
'I do feel so sorry for Livvy,' Chrissie was saying now. 'She had such a raw deal when she was growing up and now to have her marriage break down as well...'
'Yes, she hasn't had an easy life,' Frances agreed.
ANNALISE DAWDLED across the supermarket car park with her shopping. She was going to be late meeting Jack. She ought to be looking forward to seeing him she knew, to sharing with him her sense of joy and relief that she was not, after all, pregnant, but for some reason she felt almost as though she didn't want to see him.
Jenny had just loaded her shopping into her car and was on her way to park her trolley when she saw the girl.
'Annalise,' she called out, frowning a little as she noticed the almost despondent hunch of her heart-achingly vulnerable narrow teenage shoulders.
With her own daughters and Olivia grown-up Jenny had almost forgotten how endearingly coltlike
teenage girls could be.
Annalise stopped as she heard Jenny call her name, turning round to look at her.
Jack's aunt! A paralysing sense of guilt and apprehension filled her, an atavistic female sense of wrong-doing and responsibility, too deeply ingrained for Annalise herself to be able to understand or analyse it.
She just knew somehow that of the two of them, she would have been the one who both Jack's family and her own would have blamed if she had been pregnant.
Jack might have tried to convince her that his aunt would understand and want to help them but Annalise had not been able to believe him.
Annalise looked far from happy, Jenny recognised as she caught up with her and her heart went out to her.
'Have you got time for a chat?' she asked her.
Annalise wanted to refuse but Jenny was already leading the way to her car. Reluctantly Annalise went with her. Her tummy still ached and she felt vaguely sick.
Annalise was looking at her as though she were expecting her to be angry with her, Jenny thought ruefully. She had been angry, it was true, with Jack as well as with Annalise, but now suddenly she was remembering how it felt to be Annalise's age and in love.
