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And he loved it.
Especially coming home to her at night, when just seeing her smile, having her go into his arms, was more than enough to smooth whatever jagged edges the day might have left in its wake.
Jennie was living with him.
She had been, for almost a month.
The excitement? Still there. The fun? Of course. But there was more than that to it.
Being together was...He searched for the word.
It was joy.
The arrangement, for lack of a better word, had come about without plan.
It had started that Sunday when they’d gone to Six Flags.
They’d gone for a drive afterward.
Then they’d stopped for supper at a little Thai place he knew. The place was six tables big, with no pretensions at being anything but a Mom-and-Pop joint where the decor rated a zero but the food was Bangkok-perfect.
It turned out Thai food was new to Jennie.
How you could get through college and grad school without having Pad Thai or Tom Yum Goong was beyond him, but then he remembered those overly-protective parents who’d raised her to be cautious about everything, and he understood.
Sex. Roller coasters. Thai food.
He teased her, asked her if there was anything more he was going to introduce her to and she looked at him in a way that was suddenly completely serious.
Then, she laughed and said if there were, she’d let him know.
If she were six decades older, he’d have said she was working on a bucket list.
She wasn’t, of course.
She was simply a woman learning about life.
He’d ordered for them both. Tom Kha Gai. Red Curry. Pad Thai.
“Oh, my,” she said, after she’d tasted the soup.
“As in, ‘Oh, my, this is good’? Or, ‘Oh, my, I don’t like this at all!’”
“Are you kidding? It’s amazing!”
She was what was amazing, he’d thought, watching her.
They ate from each other’s plates and talked all through the meal, about Texas and New England, nothing special, and when they left the restaurant, he’d driven her to her apartment.
“I don’t want to leave you,” he’d said, at her door.
“I don’t want that, either,” she’d said softly. “Come in, just for a while.”
He’d taken a deep breath.
“I have a better idea,” he’d said, no planning, no preparation, but as he’d said the words, he’d known they were right. “Pack something for tomorrow. Come home with me.”
She’d hesitated, long enough so his heart had almost stopped beating.
“I can’t,” she’d finally said.
“You can do anything that makes you happy,” he’d said softly. “Unless being with me won’t make you happy.”
Silence.
Then she’d gone up on her toes and kissed him.
She’d packed a summer skirt. A T-shirt. Sandals. Underwear. Makeup, shampoo, what he thought of as girl stuff, though he knew better than actually to call it that.
A man didn’t grow up with sisters without learning something.
Finally, she’d put her laptop computer in its case, added a couple of books and a stack of printed notes.
“Ready,” she’d said, and again, without planning or analyzing it, he’d heard himself suggest she add a few more things to what she’d packed.
“You know, just in case you, ah, you decided to stay a few days...”
It had been one of those time-stands-still moments, he silent, she staring at him through wide eyes.
Then, with typical Jennie-directness, she’d said, very softly, “Are you asking me to live with you?”
With untypical directness, at least when it came to women, he’d said, “Yes.”
She hadn’t gone back to her place since that night, except when he’d driven her there so she could pick up more of her things.
He’d tried to take her shopping. At Neiman Marcus, of course, but she wouldn’t let him.
She was independent, his Jennie, so he compensated by buying her gifts, then telling her, eyes wide with innocence, that whatever he’d bought was on sale and couldn’t be returned.
He’d done it again last night, handed her a gift-wrapped small box at dinner at the Thai place that had become a favorite.
She’d opened the box, gasped at the gold bracelet and heart inside, and looked at him with shining eyes.
“Travis. I can’t—”
“You have to,” he’d said. “It’s that damned no-returns policy.”
Her lips had curved in a smile.
“I love it,” she’d said. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he’d said, and without warning, he’d suddenly imagined her opening an even smaller box, one that held a diamond solitaire.
Their food had arrived at that moment, and they’d spent the rest of the meal talking.
Actually, he’d done most of the talking.
He’d found himself telling her about the ten thousand acres of land for sale in Wilde’s Crossing, about how he was considering buying it.
“I love what I do,” he’d said, “and I’ll always go on doing it, but ranching is in my blood.”
“Must be the Viking DNA,” she’d said solemnly but with a little smile in her eyes, and he’d laughed and then, without planning to, he’d heard himself ask, very casually, how she felt about open spaces, about horses and dogs and kids, which were pretty much the staples of ranch life...
And realized he was holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
“I grew up watching old John Wayne movies,” she’d finally said, in a small voice. “My father owned every one. And—and I used to think how wonderful if must be, to saddle a horse and ride and ride and ride without ever reaching the boundaries of your own land, and then to ride home to a house full of love and laughter, to the arms of a man you adored...”
Her voice had trembled. Her eyes had darkened. He’d reached for her hand.
He’d come within a heartbeat of saying that she could, if she married him, but a crowded restaurant wasn’t where a man wanted to tell a woman he loved her.
Besides, the look on her face troubled him.
Something was wrong.
Jennie definitely had a secret, and it was not a good one.
He’d sensed it before, several times, but he’d never pushed her to reveal it because, back then, he’d still believed in separation. In independence. In being responsible for oneself and nobody else.
Not anymore.
She had a secret that made her unhappy and, by God, it was time he knew what it was so he could deal with it.
Had she been in jail? Was she on the run for a crime? Was somebody after her?
Impossible things, all of them, but there was a darkness haunting her, and she had yet to share it with him.
Didn’t she realize that whatever it was, he would deal with it?
That he would go on loving her?
Because he did love her. He adored her.
And she loved him, too.
He could see it in her smile. In the way she curled into his arms at night and responded to his kisses in the morning. It was even in the way she said his name.
It was time to say the words.
Tonight, he was going to tell her that he loved her. And after she’d told him she loved him, too, he would ask her what was causing her such anguish.
Her headaches, painful as they were, never brought such sadness to her eyes, but her headaches seemed more frequent.
“Have you taken your medicine?” he’d say, and she’d say yes, she had, and then she’d change the subject.
Except, last night, a muffled sound had awakened him.
The place on the bed beside him was empty.
He’d risen quickly, gone into the bathroom, found her huddled on the closed toilet, trembling, her face white, teeth chattering.
Terror had torn at his gut.
“
Sweetheart,” he’d said, going down on his knees before her. “What is it?” No answer. He’d reached forward, swept her tangled hair back from her face. “Is it a headache?”
“Yes,” she’d whispered.
“Did you take a pill?”
Another yes.
He’d risen to his feet.
“I’m calling my doctor,” he’d said, and she’d grabbed his arm and gasped out, “No! I don’t need a doctor!”
The hell she didn’t.
But he hadn’t wanted to upset her, so he’d scooped her into his arms, carried her to bed, brought her a cold pack—he’d started keeping them in the freezer—and held her in his arms until she’d fallen asleep.
Dammit, he thought now, as he sat down behind his desk again.
He’d been so caught up in thinking about how much he loved her, how he was going to tell her so, tonight, that he’d lost sight of what he should have done first thing this morning.
She didn’t want to see his doctor? Okay. He couldn’t force her to do it, but his physician was an old pal. He and Ben had gone to the same high school, played on the football team. They’d gone to the same university, taken some of the same undergrad courses before Ben went into medical school and Travis set his sights on aerospace engineering..
He’d go see Ben, tell him about Jennie, tell him the name of the meds she was taking and find out if there wasn’t something a lot stronger and better.
No way could he go on watching the woman he loved suffer...
The woman he loved.
It felt so good to know that he loved her. To know he was going to tell her he loved her—
His cell phone rang.
He grabbed it, didn’t take time to check the screen.
“Honey?”
“Sweetie,” his brother Jake purred. “I didn’t know you cared.”
Travis sat back.
“Jacob. What’s up?”
“From hot to cold in less than a minute. Travis, my man, you’re breakin’ my heart.”
Travis laughed.
“Okay. Let’s start again. Hey, Jake, great to hear from you. How’re things going?”
“Tonight’s what’s going,” Jake said. “I thought the three of us could get together at that place near Caleb’s office.”
“Yeah. Well, sorry, but—”
“Trav. You were the one accusing us of ditching the Friday night stuff but we got together last week and the week before, and you were the guy who was missing.”
True. Very true. Travis rubbed his hand over his forehead.
“The thing is, I, ah, I have something going on...”
