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that car up the lane?' 'Slowly.'
She could feel his tension as much as her own. It was as if he didn't
know how to talk to her any more. She
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marvelled that she had ever convinced herself that she could avoid a
final meeting with him. But, oh, how she wished that that had been
possible when he stood only feet away and she was aware of his presence
with every screaming fibre of her being. She was a mess of conflict:
hurting and hating and hungering all at once.
'How could you just walk out of our home with Timothy?' Rio asked with
raw-edged abruptness.
'It wasn't difficult after what you did at the party,' Holly replied
tightly.
'You don't trust me at all...'
Holly said nothing. Her experience of his sex had not taught her trust.
When she had first given her trust Jeff had broken it, and more than
once. With Rio, she had lived each day as it came, protecting herself by
trying not to look too far ahead but secretly always expecting
disappointment and heartbreak. That the worst had ultimately happened
had come as no surprise. It was as if she had been waiting for it all along.
'You want me to talk about Christabel...'
The nasty bit of her wanted to tell him not to bother, as it was a bit
late in the day for explanations. But common sense told her that, no
matter how much hearing the truth might hurt, some day in the future she
would be grateful that she had heard him out.
'OK...' Rio conceded, but the silence still dragged on like a hangman's
rope threatening to snap tight at any moment.
Is it the sex? That was what she wanted to ask, what she was forcing
herself to hold back because it would reveal too much. Only a woman
eaten up with jealousy would even consider asking such a thing. A woman
in love, desperate to reduce the breakdown to the lowest common
denominator in the hope that it would somehow make it more bearable.
'Where do you want me to start?' Holly spun right round in frustration.
Rio was raking a not quite steady hand through his luxuriant black hair,
pallor spread below his usually vibrant complexion and accentuated round
the tight line of his sensual mouth. For the first time she noticed that
his dark, devastating features had harder angles, as if he had lost
weight. She was delighted that he looked so downright miserable and
strained. Evidently life with Christabel was not one of unalloyed joy
and frolics.
'Dio mio...maybe I should have rehearsed this first,' Rio breathed, his
jawline clenching hard. 'Christabel and I had a long-distance
relationship. Sometimes a month or more would go by without us seeing
each other. Her career took her all over the world and I had similar
commitments. I may well have spent more actual time alone with you than
I ever spent with her.'
Surprise assailed Holly, for she had not expected to hear
that.
'When we were together we usually had company. The less I saw of her,
the more I thought I loved her.' Faint dark colour burnished his
spectacular cheekbones. 'It's taken me a long time to work that out.'
'Work what out?'
"That, when the chips were down, I didn't know Christabel at all. What
we had was superficial but I would've married her without ever
appreciating that,' Rio admitted grudgingly.
'So what changed?' Holly almost whispered.
A faint sheen of perspiration overlaid his bronzed skin, and he turned
pale again right before her eyes. 'The night
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I met you, I let myself into her apartment to wait for her coming home.
She wasn't expecting me...surprise, surprise,' Rio framed grittily, his
dark, deep drawl slowing and tautening. 'When she came back she wasn't
alone...'
Comprehension came to Holly in a surge. 'She had another man with her?'
'I need a drink,' Rio said hollowly.
Holly was ready to poison him. He had forgiven Christabel for carrying
on with some other man? Incandescent rage at such injustice flamed
through Holly. Her parents were virtually teetotal but brandy was always
kept for emergencies. She poured him a glass and set it on the table so
that he would have to reach for it. Rio drained the measure in one gulp.
The silence came back then, thicker and heavier than ever.
Rio threw back his proud dark head. 'I should've told you weeks ago but
I didn't want to talk about it. She wasn't with a man...she was with a
woman.'
Holly's lips parted company and stayed parted while she attempted to
compute that rather more shocking slant to her inner picture of
infidelity and betrayal, but no matter how hard she tried she could not
fit Christabel into that context. 'Are you serious?'
Rio dealt her bemused face a sudden exasperated appraisal. 'They were
making love.'
'Oh...' Holly had no ready response to make.
'I promised her that I wouldn't talk about it...' Rio hesitated, intense
eyes darker than she had ever seen them. 'But, let's face it, that's not
why I kept quiet. I was shattered. I felt humiliated...sexually and in
every other way,' he admitted in a raw undertone.
Holly could see what it was costing him to confess to vulnerability and
it hurt her even to listen. But her own thoughts were in turmoil as she
tried to make sense of what he was telling her and make it fit more
recent events. Unfortunately that attempt only left her more confused than
ever.
:. Rio snatched in a deep, charged breath and gave her a bleak glance.
'Most guys like to think of themselves as studs. When you walk in on a
scene like that with the woman you're planning to marry it's
annihilating. I doubt that Christabel was ever faithful to me.'
'Then what do you still see in her?' Holly demanded in bewilderment. 'I
mean...you're describing a situation most men couldn't forgive.'
'Christabel is so screwed up right now, I'd have to be a real bastard to
walk by on the other side,' Rio countered grimly. 'Didn't you register
what was happening at that party? Lily begged me to get her out of their
house-'
'Our hostess, Lily...Frank's wife? Begged you?" 'By that stage,
Christab
el's escort had done a timely vanishing act, probably out of
embarrassment. She was out of her head on drugs-'
'Drugs?' Holly was totally disconcerted.
'Lily caught her in the act with cocaine and asked her to leave.
Christabel refused,' Rio explained ruefully. 'Frank and Lily lost their
eldest son to heroin a couple of years ago and Lily was very distressed.
I agreed to help, not just for their benefit but also for Christabel's.
She was out of control and making a total ass of herself.'
'But if you'd come and spoken to me first, explained-'
'You wouldn't have listened. You'd have lost your temper and I had to
get Christabel out of there fast and without a scene.' Dark golden eyes
rested on her in level challenge. Holly swallowed hard, for there was a
lot of truth in his
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forecast of how she would have reacted had he approached her first to
warn her.
'The circumstances were exceptional.' His lean, strong face hardened.
'But I made the mistake of assuming that you'd understand that there was
something really serious happening.'
'Yes...' Face burning, Holly gazed into the fire, no longer able to meet
his scrutiny. 'Were you aware that she did drugs?'
'Before that party I'd no idea Christabel had a problem, but then she
was too clever to take them around me. And that night I didn't want the
