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She shook her head. No, Lucian was not some evil person. He was intense, but also gentle. She couldn’t believe that after so much time she didn’t know the real him. She knew a side of him the rest of the world didn’t see. That was why none of this made any sense. “You don’t know him.”
He looked appalled. “Are you defending him?”
Her vision glazed with tears again. “No, I suppose that’s stupid. It’s just . . . none of this makes any sense. We were happy, I thought.”
He scowled at the floor, and then faced her, all hostility gone. “Well, enough of that. You have a roof over your head, food in the panty, fuel in the furnace, and more than we could have ever dreamed of. You don’t need some arrogant billionaire to make you happy. Screw him. Prove that you don’t need him, that you can move on just as well.”
That’s right. He was in Paris . . . moving on.
She looked around the apartment. It was cozy, but nonetheless luxurious. She wasn’t naïve enough to believe the artistically rustic furnishings and distressed, exposed walls diminished the value of a place like this. That was Lucian, trying to find a place that didn’t appear too lavish, knowing the more posh it appeared the less comfortable she would be. But he wasn’t fooling her.
Those chipped sconces by the door likely sold for a thousand dollars a piece. This place wasn’t run-down and then fixed up. It was purposefully aged to give wealthy people an earthy impression of themselves without sacrificing any of their security. How ridiculous, making a classy building appear seedy for the whims of the rich.
She sighed. “This isn’t my place. All of these things,” she swept her hand in front of her. “He bought them. None of them are mine.”
“Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, Scout. What you have here is food and shelter. You have clothing. He owes you this and more for what he took from you. You’ll be able to sleep safely at night and work a job during the day. This is an advantage you didn’t have before. See it as such.”
Work. She told herself every day that she needed to find a job. “I’m just . . . so sad, Parker. I can’t find the energy for anything.”
His green eyes narrowed and his lips pressed tight, as though holding in a foul word that soured his mouth. He shifted until his knees were on the floor and his gaze locked with hers. “You listen to me, Scout. You’re tougher than any girl I know. I know he hurt you and I wish I could’ve somehow saved you from that, but what’s done is done and now it’s time to move on. Fuck him. He’s all the way across the world. Do you think he’s worried about you?”
Sharp pain knifed through her, and she sucked in a jagged breath.
Parker went on, ignoring her visceral reaction to his cold words. “Our people survive, Scout, and that’s what you need to do now. You need to stop moping, assess the damage and survive. If you don’t want this place, then leave. Come stay with me. I’ll take care of you.”
The last thing she wanted was another man taking care of her. While these things didn’t technically belong to her, they were given out of affection, not obligation—maybe. Somehow that brought about a sense of entitlement, more so than taking charity from Parker would.
“I can’t live with you, Park. I need to be on my own.”
Disappointment briefly flashed across his green eyes, but he shook it away. “Fine, but I’ll help you, Scout. I’ll help you find a job. I’ll help you remember how to smile. I’ll help you laugh. And so help me God, I’ll help you forget about him.”
A world without Lucian Patras seemed bleak and pointless. However, a part of her wished she could somehow, magically, shut off all her memories of him and act as though he never really existed.
Her heart was growing addicted to sadness and becoming more and more reluctant to let his memory go. But her mind was shoving all thoughts of him away, making her insides a tumultuous and uncomfortable place. It was too painful.
She was losing her mind, suffering some sort of mental break, she was sure. With Pearl as her mother, those types of occurrences wouldn’t be too far off the mark. For the first time ever, she was scared for her own well-being.
She needed Parker to help her get through this, but she couldn’t explain why. It was too much to put into words. He’d think she’d completely lost it if he knew that she, his driven little friend always scrapping to get ahead, found it meaningless to even live in a world that did not include Lucian Patras. No, Parker would never get that.
