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“Not because I want to. But because I want to give you what you want. How could I possibly rationalize that kind of action? I’ve never had the urge to cause someone pain. But with you...I consider things I wouldn’t normally consider.”
My spine shivered at the thought. “That doesn’t make you a bad person.”
“But it makes me an insane person.”
“So what? We’re all a little insane.”
She turned her gaze back to the window, dismissing the conversation.
“Button.”
She refused to look at me.
“There’s nothing—”
“I’m not going to hurt you and you can’t change my mind.” She fought against herself because she thought she was doing the right thing. Despite what she endured she still fought for a respectable and truthful existence. She’d descended into the darkness but only as a visitor. Once she became a part of it, a resident, she would feel differently.
And I would be ready when that time came.
***
Button and I didn’t speak for the following two days. She took her meals in her room and rarely ventured outside of it. She didn’t lounge at the pool or take a walk through the vineyards like she normally would. Her presence was confined to the corner of the house, the smoke from her chimney the only sign of life.
I didn’t pressure her because I needed my own space. Her previous words sunk into me like quicksand. She claimed I cared about her, and the more I considered it, the more I couldn’t deny it. I’d done things with her that I would never do with anyone else. If I were in this same predicament with another woman I wouldn’t cave. I’d let her keep her buttons then leave when she paid off her debt.
But I was so desperate to keep her that I did whatever was necessary to make her stay.
I did enjoy the things she asked me to do. I wouldn’t admit it to her because that would make everything complicated. When we lay together in the hammock I felt at peace. When I took her slowly on the bed I didn’t have to pretend she was chained up and crying in pain.
But it didn’t mean anything.
I was just comfortable with her.
That was all.
Like everything else, I pushed the thoughts from my mind and moved forward. I had more important things to concern myself with besides my beautiful slave.
When I came home from work on the third day I was greeted by a visitor. Jasmine stood in front of the entryway wearing a gray dress with wedges. She wore a sunhat to keep the rays off her skin, and her hair was curled in open waves.
What did she want?
I left the car in the roundabout and approached her. Without greeting her, I stared coldly. She was my employee and anything work related could be discussed at the winery—not at my private home. Our sexual relationship was over so she had no business being here.
“Hello to you too.” She laughed off my coldness.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
“What?” she said with a fake chuckle. “You aren’t going to invite me inside?”
My manners kicked in but then they shut down an instant later. Button was shut away in her room but I didn’t want her to see Jasmine. She had a hissy fit when the waitress made a pass at me. What would she think if she saw a beautiful woman inside the house? “Let’s take a walk.”
“A stroll through the vineyards would be nice.” She walked beside me, her teeth white and her smile dazzling. “I came by the other day but Lars said you were out.”
Probably when I was at the coast. “Took a short vacation.” It was strange that Lars didn’t mention to me. But he probably didn’t want to sour my mood when I was already angry.
“Hope you had a good time.”
I inserted my hands into the pockets of my trousers. We crossed the lush yard and ventured into one of the rows that grew some of the finest grapes in all of Italy. “So, what brings you here?”
“I just returned to Italy and I feel a little lost...being gone for months will do that to you.”
I wasn’t her therapist so I didn’t see why she was telling me this. “You’ll get back into the swing of things.” Italy was much slower than America. People took their time getting things done. From my limited stay in the States I knew everything was fast-paced with a deadline.
“I missed you while I was away.” Her voice shook, self-conscious about what she said before she even finished saying it.
As soon as she left I stopped thinking about her. In fact, I didn’t think about her once. Our relationship was strictly physical. She would come to my playroom and I would whip her until she cried. Then I fucked her like a madman. She was like all the others. She was in my company longer than most women, at least three months. But when she decided to leave I didn’t stop her. Our time came to an end. I let her go without a fight, understanding all relationship came to an end one way or another.
