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“I told you I was yours.” The hatred left my voice just for a second, replaced by sorrow. I felt stupid for ever thinking I was the only woman in his life. I felt stupid for caring.
His eyes narrowed. “You are mine. But I never said I was yours.” He squeezed my throat so I could hardly breathe. “Let’s get that straight right now. I do what I want when I want. I don’t owe you a goddamn thing. You’re my slave. Slave.”
My heart shattered into pieces when I heard that word. My captivity began in the form of slavery but it slowly changed into something else entirely. I could have hoarded all of my buttons and worked toward freedom as quickly as possible. But I sacrificed some of my tokens to be with him in a different way. This whole time I thought he didn’t mean anything to me but now the truth was looking at me right in the face.
He gave me a final squeeze before he released me, watching me slide down to the floor while my chest shook with dry coughs. His look was ice-cold, freezing just like the artic circle.
I was the first one to look away, the defeat overruling my body. He didn’t just win the battle but he won the war. There was no fight left inside me. My mind may have stayed on the prize but my heart had a different agenda.
***
I had to get out of there as soon as possible.
I didn’t want to stay in this house—with him.
There was nothing waiting for me back at home but it was still better than here. I could start over in a new place. Maybe with enough time I could start to believe in humanity again.
There was nothing for me here.
My only ticket to freedom was my hoard of buttons. I had to collect every single one until the jar was full. Then he would release me. Maybe his promise as false but I had to keep going in the hope he truly was a man of his word.
After three days of silence between us I swallowed the vomit sitting in the back of my throat and dove in. I went downstairs and joined him for dinner—but without the intention of eating.
He looked up from his phone when he heard me into the dining room. His eyes filled with surprise at my presence but only for a nanosecond. He quickly changed the look, seeming as indifferent as before.
I ignored my chair and dropped to my knees in front of his. I positioned myself between his muscled thighs and undid the button and zipper of his jeans. His cock popped out, quickly hardening at my arrival. I pulled my hair to one side and shoved it into the back of my throat.
A breath escaped between his teeth and he dug his fingers into my hair as he enjoyed it. He gently thrust into me from below, pushing further into my mouth. He grabbed the back of my neck to get a better hold and guided me to the pace he desired.
I hated myself for getting wet.
I hated myself for enjoying it.
I hated him. But I still wanted him.
***
I entered his playroom wearing black lingerie, the kind with block stockings and a tight teddy. I didn’t bother with the panties because I knew they would be ripped to shreds anyway. I hit the button on the intercom, the one that connected to his study. “Join me.” I released the button and walked to the center of the room. I’d only been inside a handful of times but I knew where most of his kinky apparatuses were.
I grabbed the leather choker and hooked it around my neck, knowing I was about to do something more extreme than anything else. But if I got a huge paycheck out of it I didn’t care. It was one more step closer to freedom.
He entered a moment later, his eyes intense with longing. He eyed the leather wrapped around my neck and couldn’t hide his surprise—and his desire. His hands immediately removed his clothes, his eyes on me the entire time. Then he grabbed the rope to suspend me.
“Fifty.”
His hand was still on the rope but he didn’t pull.
“Fifty. Take it or leave it.” It was the biggest payment I would ever receive. But now I was aiming high, needing to get the hell out of here as quickly as possible. The connection between us was never there. Every time he said something cold I assumed he was in denial. But now I understood he truly was an empty vessel. I was just one of the many. When I left he would forget about me.
He pondered the offer before he finally nodded. “Fifty.”
***
I closed off my mind just as I did when I was a prisoner of Bones. I just completed tasks without considering the details. I rode his cock when he asked, and I endured things more painful than I could possibly imagine. He always made me come—but that was the only sensation I allowed myself to feel.
