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And another looked like a button.
I stared at that one the longest, trying to figure out if it was real or I was just pretending it was real. Four little holes marked the ceiling, and the round curvature of the surface made it look exactly like a button.
It was painful to look at.
Within the blink of an eye, the sun started to emerge over the horizon and fill my bedroom with the gentle pastels of the morning. I slept on one side of the bed because I was used to sharing it with someone.
Button.
I got out of bed when I realized there was no point in lying there anymore. I showered and got ready for work. My brain was dead from exhaustion and I struggled to think clearly. Sleep was a foreign luxury.
I hadn’t gotten any since she left.
I went into my study and started the fire in the hearth. I didn’t go downstairs for breakfast like I usually did. My appetite wasn’t the same. A few buttons sat on the table next to the arm chair, so I grabbed it and felt it between my fingers. It was one of the few I had left. The rest were sitting in her jaw in her old bedroom.
I hadn’t touched them.
I stared at the special button in my hand. It had gold trimming along the outside and a pearl in the center. The irony wasn’t lost on me. It symbolized her in every way imaginable. It was as if the button was made just for her.
“Your Grace?” Lars stepped into the study with his hand behind his back. “Will you be having breakfast in here today?”
“Just coffee.”
“Of course.” He walked out. He hadn’t asked me about Button since she left. He knew she was gone and she wasn’t coming back. That was all the information he needed to know. Now this house was empty once again.
Except for the shadows.
I pulled out my phone and checked the signal still in her ankle. I checked it every single day to see where she was. It was only a matter of time before she hired a surgeon to remove it for her.
Then I would lose her forever.
I opened the app on my phone and saw the red dot emerge on the map. She was inside a building on Park Avenue in Manhattan. Central Park was nearby. The dot wasn’t moving so she was probably sleeping. It was the middle of the night in her time zone.
What was she doing on Park Avenue?
I wasn’t worried about her safety. Button was resourceful and smart. She could take care of herself without any problems. She didn’t need me or anyone else to get through the night.
But I knew she didn’t have the money to stay on Park Avenue.
And that meant she was staying with someone.
It wasn’t a friend because she didn’t have any of those. It wasn’t a family member because those didn’t exist. It had to be an old boyfriend.
Bile flooded my mouth.
The idea of her fucking someone else repulsed me. Large hands caressed her soft skin, and firm lips kissed that gentle mouth. Her legs were spread and a man took her roughly on the edge of the bed. The images haunted me. I felt so sick I didn’t even want my coffee anymore.
But I had no right to feel this way.
She wasn’t mine anymore. And I was never hers.
Chapter Three
Pearl
Jason had a beautiful apartment. It was spacious and clean. It had two bedrooms on opposite sides of the apartment, and I didn’t feel like a burden since there was plenty of room. The kitchen was big and so was the living room.
“How did you sleep?” He was sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal when I walked in.
I wore the pajamas he let me borrow. The sweatpants were too big so I rolled them several times. His cotton t-shirt was soft and clean. It smelled like a man, and I think that helped me sleep.
Because my body subconsciously pretended I was beside Crow.
“Good. You?” I sat across from him and poured myself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.
“Great.” He had the newspaper beside him but he didn’t pick it up and read it. His eyes were on me, examining me with critical detail. When he took me to his apartment last night he didn’t ask me anything. All he did was make dinner for both of us and showed me where I was sleeping.
I appreciated that. “Do you work today?”
“Yeah. I would take the day off but I just started this job.”
“No, don’t feel bad,” I said quickly. “I’ll be fine. As long as I got some Fruity Pebbles I’ll be fine.”
When he smiled, it reached his eyes. “I’m glad you have the same sense of humor.”
“I think it’s ingrained in my personality at this point.”
