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I wasn’t going to be one of those stupid men.
I had to let her go.
I had to let her suffer.
And let her die.
* * *
Crow stopped by the base in dark jeans and a t-shirt. He walked inside my office without knocking, probably payback for what I did to him a few days ago. My feet were on the desk, and I was enjoying a full bottle of scotch by myself. My mood was sour, my jaw was clenched, and I had a migraine that an entire bottle of liquor couldn’t fix.
Crow stepped inside and examined the scene in front of him.
I didn’t even glance at him. I held the cool glass against my temple, using the temperature to numb my migraine.
Crow grabbed the bottle and helped himself to a glass. “I’m surprised you didn’t take the day off.”
I should be home with Adelina, comforting her before I had to drop her off tomorrow. But I needed time alone, time to cushion my painful disappointment. I needed to drown myself in alcohol to feel numb. “I’ll head home in a little while.” I took a drink and stared at the other wall.
“You doing alright?”
“If you’re going to say stupid shit, don’t say anything at all.”
Instead of walking out, Crow pulled up the chair and took a seat.
“I called Tristan.” I set the glass on the desk and rubbed my temple.
“And what was said?”
“I offered to buy Adelina from him.”
Crow sipped his drink as he swallowed my words. “I’m guessing he didn’t take your offer.”
“No. I put twenty million on the table, and he didn’t blink an eye over it.”
“Bones did the same thing for Pearl.”
“Then I offered to commission him with weapons forever if he let me keep her.”
Crow’s silence burned with anger.
“Don’t worry, he didn’t go for that either.”
“That must have been hard to turn down.”
“Didn’t seem like it.”
Crow took another drink. “So now what?”
“I have to hand her over tomorrow at seven.”
“I’m sorry, Cane. I know you’re fond of the girl.”
I was too fond of her. I’d just told Crow I’d buy her for twenty million dollars. There was no hiding it now.
“I already made this offer, but I’ll make it again. I can take her if that’s easier for you.”
“No.” It had to be me. I wasn’t gonna be a coward. I’d have to be strong for her, to make her feel strong. “But thanks anyway.”
“Is there anything I can do, Cane?”
The only response I gave was a shake of my head. “Just leave me alone.”
Crow didn’t move. He stayed in his seat, his drink still in his hand. “How about I be alone with you?”
“Why?”
“That’s what family is for, right? So you always have someone to be alone with.”
* * *
I didn’t sleep last night.
Neither did she.
We made love a few times, but it wasn’t the same. We were both thinking about the next day, the moment when I had to hand her over. She was thinking about the grotesque look in Tristan’s eyes, and I was thinking about his hands all over her body.
It was horrific.
I told myself it would get easier as time went on. Year after year, I would slowly make my peace with it. But it didn’t seem like that would ever happen. I would always feel terrible for what happened to Adelina.
That I didn’t save her.
The next morning, she packed. I’d bought her a lot of nice things since she’d come to live with me, mainly designer clothes and hair accessories. She took up half my closet with her things. She opened her bag and began to stuff everything inside, but then she faltered.
Because she knew there was no point in taking anything.
She couldn’t wear the beautiful things I’d bought. She’d be stripped down until she was naked, chained to a wall in a cage. She wouldn’t have a closet. She wouldn’t get to shower. She would be a pig in a sty.
Watching her return the clothes to the closet was the most painful thing I’d ever seen.
She didn’t cry or issue a sniffle. But her body sagged with depression. Her spine curved, and her shoulders hunched forward. She sat at the edge of the bed and crossed her arms over her stomach, her knees pulled to her chest.
I sat beside her, refraining from touching her.
She stared at the floor, her chest rising and falling deeply. “Do you have the pills?”
“Yes.”
“Can I have them?”
I didn’t move. “Where are you going to put them?”
“I don’t know…I’m not going to be wearing anything for long.”
I cringed at the thought. “They won’t dissolve in your mouth. You can put one on the inside of each cheek…”
“And then I can hide them in my room when he leaves me alone.”
“Yeah…” I closed my eyes when I pictured her lying on a stone floor, her ankles chained to the wall and tears in her eyes. She was dirty, her scalp was oily, and she was skinny. The image was too difficult to bear, so I wiped it from my mind.
