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“Then why will you not accept my aid?”
“Why are we here?” she asked instead of answering him.
It was a difficult thing to force their outing into perspective. She had missed him so. But she could not allow herself to believe it meant anything of substance, despite their kiss, despite her wanting him. She couldn’t afford to expose herself to such hurt again. Lord Trenton, the toad, had started out admiring her, courting her before he had offered for her hand.
I am mightily exhausted of always needing to be here for you. It wears on a man, Willow.
When he had snapped those words with evident frustration, she had been shattered, believing she had been doing so well at self-sufficiency. Then she’d realized she was only self-sufficient at Hadley House. There she knew every nook and cranny, every gravel path and garden, and the length and depth of the lake. She had sprained an ankle and had received several bruises in her determination to learn the property.
Hadley House was her prison…and also her freedom.
She’d recollected how much he had to assist her once they were away from Hadley House. First, he had been caring. Solicitous, gentle even, then it had slowly turned to brusqueness an
d anger. Lord Trenton had convinced himself to continue because he needed her money.
She must never read anything into Alasdair inviting her out. They had been friends, and she must be careful to not love him so desperately again. She would not be able to bear his distaste, which was an eventuality. Do not forget he left…and never once looked back. The dark part of her she had struggled to defeat reared its head. She swallowed the bitterness and dwelt in the moment itself. She had rejected him. It mattered not that she regretted that decision. He was not to blame for anything she suffered.
Willow closed her eyes against the painful memories. “Will you not answer my question? Why did you call on me today?”
“I am here because I desire to reacquaint myself with you. I have no nefarious reasons.”
So he had abandoned his plans of seduction? Disappointment stabbed through her. “I see,” she said quietly.
“Do you think I would hurt you?”
She frowned at his unexpected question. “I—”
He chuckled. “You are very transparent with your emotions. I can see your wariness. But I promise you, I will not hurt you.” Sincerity rang in his voice.
“And your vow to exorcise me from your dreams?”
She heard him drifting closer.
“I assure you that is not my intention today. The shock of seeing you for the first time in years last night prompted my unchivalrous actions. You are safe with me, I promise, Willow.”
“How disappointing,” she said softy. She had hoped to indulge in passion again today.
“You are disappointed I am not ravishing you?” His voice was carefully neutral.
She shrugged indelicately. “I will confess I have been thinking about you as a lover.”
A soft curse slipped from him, and a blush heated her cheeks. But she would not retract the words. Life was too fleeting for her to hesitate with her desires. She wanted more, and he was the man she had craved for years. Who better to experience passion with?
“I do not think your future husband would appreciate your sentiments.”
“Since I have no intention of ever marrying, I think your point is irrelevant. I am interested in a discreet affair…with you, Alasdair.”
His stare was so intense it was a heated caress against her skin.
“I can feel you staring,” she said huskily.
“Join me in the water,” he invited, and it was the deep undertone of need in his voice that lured her.
Willow stood, and without hesitation slipped out of the simple day dress, standing in her chemisette. He swore softly, and her pulse quickened. She lowered herself onto the banking, and slowly eased into the lake.
The gasp was trapped in her throat as firm hands gripped her hips and gently lifted her, sinking her to the waist in the water. Cool water rushed over her soaking her chemisette. She wrapped one of her arms around his neck and placed the other on his shoulder. The sensation of the water was glorious, but not as much as the feel of his strength and the muscles in his shoulders. Her hand coasted over his naked flesh almost reverently. She had not thought he would have stripped to the waist.
“I think you were placed on earth to tempt my sanity,” he murmured. Amusement laced his tone. “I vowed not to take you, yet all I can think since you professed of wanting me as a lover is to spread you wide, feast on your sweetness, then ride you until we are both boneless with pleasure.”
