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He blinked at the dazzling smile she bestowed upon him. Her smile sent a shaft of hunger straight into him, which hardened his cock almost immediately. She tumbled onto her stomach and arched her buttocks enticingly.
“Go ahead,” she said, her eyes laughing at him. “It seems you quite enjoy tanning my buttocks, and it would be an appropriate beginning for our renewed courtship.”
She chuckled, clearly amused by her own antics.
He released a confounded breath then sat on the blanket. He reached for an apple and crunched into it, studying her. “It is dangerous to be so far from the main house, Sheridan. I gave you specific instructions on how far you could travel.”
She rolled onto her back, propping herself onto her elbows, watching him with a curious mix of wariness and sexual hunger. “Would you have come for me if I had been within range?” She placed a sweet cake into her mouth. “I assure you I was very careful. I positioned myself so I could see whoever rode onto the ranch. And I have the Winchester.”
He grunted.
Before he could berate her for her recklessness she pounced. “I believe I would like you to kiss me…”
He stared at her, wondering how long she would keep up her foolish idea about courting him. She presented a very provocative picture in her simple cotton day dress. It clung to her frame, shaping her curves in the most exquisite manner. And her hair, a cascade of midnight, rippled down to her hips. “Are you by chance still trying to seduce me, Sheridan?”
“You needn’t worry none about that,” she drawled in her best western cadence.
At his narrow eyed look she shrugged daintily. “Courting you. There is a difference you know. I even have a book that says so. If I wanted to seduce you I would have slipped into your bed when you slept.”
The memory of the first night they came together seeped between them, enticing him.
He reached for another apple fighting back a smile at her reckless audacity. Almost against his will, his eyes dipped to her legs. She deliberately allowed the day dress to ride up to her knees.
“I had a weak momen
t in the cabin. It will not happen again.”
An elegant brow arched high. “It seemed like it was several weak moments to me.” She seemed thoughtful as she tapped her chin. “Three weak moments if I recall correctly…Seems a mite ridiculous to deny yourself the pleasure of a simple kiss now.”
He smiled, wondering how the hell he would deal with her persistence. “Sheridan….”
“Don’t.”
The seriousness of her tone had him paying deeper attention to her. She sat up and folded her legs beneath her buttocks, hands folded in her lap. She looked off into the distance for a few seconds before facing him. He swallowed at the look of pure need and determination on her face.
“You do not trust me, Elijah.”
His gut tightened but he did not refute her claims. A strong wind rolled off the mountain, lifting her hair and curling it around her hips. She looked so damn beautiful it haunted him. Even though she spent time outdoors, her skin still had that delicate porcelain look.
She looked him straight in the eye. “There is a past between us that needs to be addressed and you will listen. You have not given me a chance to apologize. If you have no wish to accept it, I cannot force you, but I do wish you to know how very sorry I am for what I did. There is no excuse for lying to you…but I hungered for my own family. I dreamt of running the ranch, having a garden, children to tell stories to by winter fires. It may be simplistic to you…but it was what I wanted and I knew I had no hope of receiving such a life from Thomas.”
Elijah had never seen her looking so fierce. He realized she would forever talk about it, unless he made some overture to close a chapter of their life that had been left open too long. Hell. Probably this was what he needed to do for her to move on. “Sheridan—”
She slashed her hands cutting him off. “No Elijah. Let me speak.”
He nodded and she gave him a small smile that had his gut clenching in need.
“I want you to trust me. I want to marry you. I have made no secret of that. I am not ashamed to admit that it is you I want.”
Her intensity petrified him. A woman like her needed loving. He didn’t have that. He understood a lot more about her than she thought…and it was that understanding that made him aware she was too weak for this life. Her words of love had always clenched something inside of him. He remembered with absolute clarity the first time she had whispered it to him. They had been lying under the large oak tree behind the bunkhouse watching the sinking sun. He’d felt peace for the first time in months, and then her softly whispered words of love had tied him in knots. He’d been unable to return her sentiments. Not knowing if what he felt for her was love. She made him burn, and he was damned if he knew if it was a good thing or not.
That day he had thought about Emma for the first time without rage and grief battling inside of him. He had loved Emma. He had trusted Emma. After all, he had known she would have been his from the time he was fourteen and she a mere twelve. He had waited for her, and she had become his on her sixteenth birthday. What he had with Emma had been soft and gentle, always present and comforting. Elijah had thought he’d known everything about Emma, but she had devastated him in a way he had yet to recover from.
What Sheridan didn’t realize was his mistrust of her ran deeper than her lying to him about being unattached. But he could never explain that to her. While Emma had been raised in Boston, she had at least understood the West. Sheridan was wholly naïve about their way of life. He couldn’t trust her to be strong, to be undoubting in the face of danger. She had a core of steel born from stubbornness, but it was not enough for their savage world, and it would never be enough for him.
“I have been hoping for so much. A life here…With you and since our night in the cabin, perhaps….one day having a child with you…”
The breath rushed from his lungs. The force of her words rooting him to the spot. “What did you say?”
