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Will swallowed. He’d hated seeing her with another man, hated knowing he was the one who drove her into another’s arms.
“I slept with him.”
Her words cut through the darkness and straight to his heart. “I don’t want—”
“I slept with him because I was trying to forget you,” she went on as if he hadn’t said a word. “I was ready to give myself to you, then you chose to obey your father once again at my expense. When I started dating Bryce, I mistook his affection for love. I knew I was on the rebound, but I wanted so badly to be with someone who valued me, who wanted to be with me and put me first.”
Those raw, heartfelt words crippled him. He’d had no idea just how much damage he’d caused. All this time, she’d been searching for anyone to put her at the top of their priority list when he’d shoved her to the bottom of his.
“Afterward I cried,” she whispered. “I hated that I’d given away something so precious and I hated even more that I still wished I’d given it to you.”
Her honesty gutted him. Will wished more than anything he could go back and make changes, wished he could go back and be the man she needed him to be.
But he could be honest now, he could open up. She’d shared such a deep, personal secret, he knew she deserved to know why he’d let her go so easily.
“I had to let you go.”
“I know, your father—”
“No.” Will adjusted himself in the seat so he could face her better. “I need you to know this, I need you to listen to what I’m saying. I let you go because of my father, but not for the reasons you think.”
The moon cast enough of a glow for Will to see Cat’s dark eyes widen. “What?”
“I let you go to save you. My father’s threats...” Will shook his head, still angry over the way he’d let his father manipulate him. “As soon as I let you go, I was plotting to get you back, to put my father in his place. I didn’t care how long it took, didn’t care what I had to do.”
Cat stared back at him, and he desperately wanted to know what was swirling around in her head. There was so much hurt between them, so many questions and years of resentment. Will hated his father for putting him in this position, but he hated even more the way Cat had been the victim in all of this.
“Your father threatened me, didn’t he?” Cat asked, her voice low, yet firm. “He held me over your head? Is that why you let me go?”
Swallowing the lump of guilt, Will nodded.
Cat sat up, swung her feet over the side and braced her hands on either side of her hips. Will lifted his leg out of her way and brought his knee up to give her enough room to sit. He waited while she stared down at the deck. Silence and moonlight surrounded them, bathing them in a peace that he knew neither of them felt.
“Talk to me.” He couldn’t handle the uncertainty. “I don’t want you going through this alone.”
A soft laugh escaped her as she kept her gaze averted. “But you didn’t care that I went through this alone four years ago.”
“Dammit, Cat. I couldn’t let you get hurt. He had the ability to ruin you and I wasn’t going to put my needs ahead of yours.”
When she threw him a glance over her shoulder, Will’s gut tightened at the moisture gathered in her eyes. “You didn’t put my needs first at all. You didn’t give me a chance to fight for us and you took the easy way out.”
Raking a hand over his hair, Will blew out a breath. “I didn’t take the easy way,” he retorted. “I took the hardest way straight through hell to keep you safe and to work on getting you back.”
She continued to stare, saying nothing. Moments later her eyes widened. “Wait,” she whispered. “How did Bella come into play?”
“You know I never would’ve married her. That was all a farce to begin with.” Will shifted closer, reaching out to smooth her hair back behind her ear. “And once I kissed you, I knew exactly who I wanted, who I needed.”
Cat started to stand, winced and sat back down. Will said nothing as he pushed his leg around her, once again straddling her from behind. He pulled her back against his chest and leaned on the plush cushions. Even though she remained rigid, he knew the only way to get her to soften was for him to be patient. He’d waited four years; he was the epitome of patient.
Wrapping his arms around her, he whispered in her ear. “I messed up,” he admitted. “I only wanted to protect you and went about it the wrong way. Don’t shut me out now, Cat. We have too much between us. This goes so much deeper than either of us realizes and I won’t let my father continue to ruin what we have.”
