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“I see. I’ll have to ponder on that. Thank you, Michael.”
“You’re welcome.” He covered his mouth when he yawned.
“It’s gettin’ late. You’d better get to bed.”
“Yes. I’d better. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow. Actually, for the next few weeks, too. I want to warn you, you won’t be seeing much of me during that time. We’ll be doing our best to get the wheat in.”
“I understand. Iffen there’s anything I can do to help, let me know, okay?”
“The best thing you can do to help is to take care of things around here. Laundry, mending, meals, stuff like that. If I don’t have to deal with any of that, it makes a huge difference.”
“I can do that. I’m gonna do of heap a sewin’, too. And I’ll make sure you have plenty of vittles and water to take with you.”
“Sounds good.” He rose, then looked down at her. “Just don’t send me any crawdad tails or frog legs, okay?” His eyes had a twinkle when he said it.
She giggled. “I won’t.” She stood. “Michael? Could we pray together before you go to bed?”
“Sure.” He reached for her hands and bowed his head. He started to pray and when he got to the part about thanking God for her wearing a dress, she couldn’t help but laugh.
Michael opened his eyes and looked at her, his expression serious.
“Sorry. I just found it funny.”
“I mean it, Selina. You wearing a dress means a lot to me.” His blue eyes roamed over her face.
She tilted her head. “How come?”
“I don’t know. I just know that it does.” He still held her hands. That meant a lot to her. She was grateful for any touch or any affection he gave her. And as much as she wanted to share a bed with him, she was grateful he wasn’t forcing his husbandly rights on her, instead giving them time to get to know each other before they did. If they ever did, that is.
Suddenly she felt the need to ask, “What did you want in a wife, Michael?”
Selina’s question sent Michael backward. “You really want to know?”
“Wouldn’t have asked iffen I didn’t.”
He dropped her hands and stepped to the fireplace. With one hand on the mantel, he stared into the dwindling fire, deciding what he would say. The truth was always best. “I wanted someone like Rainee. Not Rainee, but someone like her,” he hastened to add lest Selina get the wrong idea that he was in love with his sister-in-law. Yes, he loved Rainee, but like a sister now.
“And…” Selina interjected.
“Someone who’s confident, genteel, educated. A real Southern lady, who could hold her own in any type of situation whether it be here on the ranch, or at a dinner theater, or entertaining prospective business clients. I wanted someone to take care of my home and children. Someone who supports me in what I do. Someone who isn’t afraid of jumping in and helping, even getting dirty when the need arises. Someone with spit and fire. Who challenges me. Who’s willing to fight for what she believes.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized Selina fit that part of his dream wife perfectly. And today, she was dressed every bit a lady. A beautiful lady at that. One who had walked with dignity and grace. The other missing attributes he could learn to deal with. The one he couldn’t was love.
“Go on,” she whispered.
“Someone to come home to. But most of all someone I can love with all my heart and who loves me back the same.”
“I love you, Michael,” she whispered.
Michael stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating.
The air in the room suddenly vanished.
He had no idea how to respond to that because he didn’t love her back.
“You don’t gotta say nothin’, Michael. I know you don’t love me. I just wanted you to know that someone does love you. And that someone is me.” She didn’t look at him.
If she was the woman he’d fallen in love with, those words would have thrilled him. With a little hope and a lot of prayer, perhaps someday they would. “Thank you, Selina, for letting me know.” He kissed her on the cheek. Her skin felt soft against his lips. Before he got carried away again, he stepped back. “And now, I really must get to bed, or in the morning I’ll regret it.” He brushed past her and headed to the bedroom. Without looking back he said, “Good night, Selina,” and stepped through the door and shut it.
He propped his back against the solid wood and closed his eyes. When he opened them, they landed on the empty bed. A bed he longed to fill with love.
Shoving away from the door, he removed his clothes and climbed into bed. “God, I know You don’t make mistakes and that there’s a reason You put Selina and me together. Therefore, I’m asking You, Lord, to fill both of our hearts and home with love. Selina deserves no less.”
