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Snapping out of it, I chase after him, rip the door open, and jump out onto the porch.
“Wait…wait…wait!” I say to the broad back at the bottom of my stairs.
He stops and turns slowly, looking thoroughly harassed, frustrated, and ready to walk away never to return again.
“What?” he huffs. And I beat back the urge to smile. My goodness, I’m crazy about this man and all of his million moods.
“Don’t go.”
His expression softens––marginally. No one else would notice the change, but I’ve gotten pretty good at reading all the subtle nuances of his beautiful face.
“Don’t go, Jake,” I say, stepping closer. I place one foot in front of the other down the front steps of the Austen, closing the distance between us while his dark blue eyes bore into mine, anticipation and doubt warring there.
“Give me a reason to stay,” he replies, his scratchy voice holding a challenge.
A smile threatens to break out across my face because I can see his want and need getting the better of him.
Gathering every ounce of hard-fought courage I possess, I push the words out of my mouth. “Come back inside and I’ll give you more than one.”
When I reach the second to last step, we’re eye to eye. It’s then I see it cross his face. The insecurity just beneath the surface of all that tough shell.
“Tell me you want me first,” he murmurs, searching for signs of doubt on my face that he will not find.
All in, I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me closer. His breathing deepens, his chest pushing against my breasts.
“I want you. I want you desperately,” I say against his lips. The scent of his soap and shampoo fill my lungs and it’s like coming home. The way he feels in my arms, the way he smells, the sound of his voice. We’ve known each other only four months, but it feels like the span of a lifetime.
“Get a goddamn room!” Another shout from the Whitman cottage.
Jake kisses me. I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me inside. And we don’t stop kissing. We don’t stop when he pushes me up against the wall and pins his hips hard against mine. Almost painfully hard. But only makes me want him more. And we don’t stop when the pantings are knocked off the wall.
“I can’t…I can’t wait another minute,” he mutters into my mouth. His tongue sliding against mine.
Clutching at the back of his shirt, I start to yank it over his head. I need to feel him. I need to feel every inch of skin on his body. Last night was the biggest tease. If I hadn’t been completely wrecked by the circumstances, I would not have slept a single minute. It was certainly bad enough when I awoke at 4 a.m. with his erection pressed up against my butt. He went for a run and I spent the next hour fantasizing about him.
Pulling away he places me on my feet and reaches for my blouse. Then he stops and meets my eyes.
“I need you.”
The declaration is so heartfelt I feel the weight of it pressing down on me.
I push his hands down and grab the bottom of his shirt, pull it off of him.
“I need you too.”
I run my hands up and down his chest and watch him take sharp, shallow breaths. My shirt comes off next. Then his jeans. Then mine. He picks me up and carries me to the bed, laying me down gently.
“I meant it when I told you I haven’t been with anyone in three years.”
It takes me back to the scene at the supermarket. Seems like a lifetime ago.
“I didn’t mean any of the rest. You’re beautiful, Carrie. So fucking beautiful…” He swallows. His gaze moves away and comes right back to me. “The truth is I wanted you back then, but I didn’t think I deserved someone like you.”
Kill me know. Take the poison and plunge it straight into my veins because the sweet look on his face is too painful to bear.
I’m reminded of everything I said about him and shame turns me red hot.
“Jake, I didn’t mean it either. Not a word. You know that, right?” He kisses me again, and this time I pull back. “And I haven’t been with anyone even longer than that.”
He gets up from the bed and pushes his boxer briefs down his well-muscled legs. His erection springs free more than ready to get the job done.
“I’m on the pill,” I tell him. “For my skin.”
Slowly climbing on the bed, he reaches for my bra and I help him remove it. My panties next. His hand slips between my legs and enters me while his mouth latches onto my breast.
He hits all my sweet spots, and for the first time in my life, I get a real glimpse at what Jackie meant when she said she just knew.
