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But Stefan's hand was still locked in Matt's hair.
"I'll tell you . . . something else," Stefan said, and Matt could hear the diamondbright edge of fury twisted back on itself in his voice. Stefan leaned down to speak directly into Matt's ear, softly and with a venom Matt had never heard before. "It's . . . not good to offer your blood to a vampire and then expect to back out. We are not . . . nice creatures. We get a certain desire to rip your arms and legs off and—"
He stopped. Matt felt the fingers in his hair unclench and let go. Stefan stood.
Stefan was walking away.
"Wait." It was only one syllable, but Matt impressed himself by getting it out.
"I'm leaving now," Stefan said distantly. It was still a voice designed to raise the fine hairs on the back of a human neck.
" Wait." Matt scrubbed his cheeks with a shrug of both shoulders. It didn't hurt to do that. The wound in his neck was barely trickling.
I was right. It's not the snake thing, the needle thing.
"Listen to me, you— human," Stefan said. It was as if he couldn't find a stronger expletive. He came back and leaned down, deliberately putting one hand on the bed on either side of Matt, invading Matt's personal space. Matt couldn't look up without looking directly into that shadowed face. "You have pushed me . . . far enough. If you push me any farther . . . "
"I know! I'm dumb, all right, but I figured it out. I didn't understand." He shook off what was going to be Stefan pointing out that he had told him and told him. "I didn't get it.
I do now. I can do better than that."
"You are really pushing it, Matt. Take my advice, will you? If you are unlucky enough to run into another vampire, do not use this tactic. Ever."
"Try it again."
"How can you be so stubborn? Is it really worth it to prove that you're braver than Bonnie?"
"I know what I was doing wrong."
"You're not going to like it any better if you do it right."
"Just stop talking."
Stefan whirled and sat down heavily. He sounded dazed. "I give up. Some people have to learn the hard way."
Matt straightened up, hands open on his knees, and tilted his head. He felt again the precise, unemotional fingers on his jaw, but they weren't as cool as before.
And he could feel the almost imperceptible shaking.
Matt's thoughts, already, confused and in conflict, were now jumping from idea to idea like a frog in a redhot frying pan.
I was right. I knew I hurt him. More than it hurt me, maybe. And I don't know any way to make him understand about humans . . . why doesn't he already know that? I bet Damon knows it. No, I'm stupid. Human blood; he doesn't drink human blood. And maybe a vampire wouldn't get it anyway. To them it's feeding, it's eating. How are they supposed to understand the stuff it gets mixed up with in a human brain? Or that it's different with a guy than a girl, that the whole thing sets off some kind of panic impulse with guys? Here he's trying to save Bonnie and Meredith and everybody, when I'm completely useless, and the only way I can help him is to make him stronger so he has a chance. Not even a chance of living, but a chance of stopping that monster. And what do I do? I hit him. All I needed to do was relax and not hate him, but I couldn't even do that. The girls could do that, but not me.
He opened his eyes. Had he missed it? No, Stefan was just sitting there.
"What now? I told you I was sorry. You still think I'm gonna back out and make you rip my arms off?"
Stefan let go. "No, but . . . "
"I told you, I get it. Come on; it's getting late." He could hear the difference in his own voice; he was still embarrassed, but he was talking to a friend, not a demon.
Stefan was shaking his head. "Humans . . . "
"Will you just—"
This time, when he felt the doubleneedle sting, he pushed away thoughts of snakes and scorpions. He thought about the first time he'd seen Stefan, standing up to old Tanner to defend Bonnie. He thought about the alwaysshadowed, alwayslost look in Stefan's eyes back when Matt had invited him to join a team of humans, and the doubt and confusion turning slowly into belief there. Stefan had wan
ted to join the human race, but he hadn't expected anybody to welcome him into it. Matt had been the first one to do that.
