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Which was exactly what happened. She gripped the wheel, white-knuckling it onto the main street and, thankfully, Antonio fell silent.
Too silent. He’d just reentered his old world in the most immersive way possible. She desperately wanted to ask him about it.
Had he remembered any of Falco? All of it? What had it felt like for him to get in the ring again? Antonio hadn’t fought professionally in years and, as far as Caitlyn knew, Vanessa had forbid him from even messing around with the guys in the ring because she feared he’d get hurt again.
Part of Caitlyn wondered if she’d helped facilitate his return to Falco because it was something her sister never would have done. As if it was some kind of sick contest to see if Antonio would realize Caitlyn was the better woman for him.
But she had no idea how to navigate the heavy vibe in the Range Rover, so she kept her mouth shut and let the silence ride.
When they got home, she followed him into the house from the garage, unable to stand the silence any longer. “How’s your head?”
That was a safe enough topic, wasn’t it?
He paused in the kitchen to get a glass of water and gulped the entire thing down before answering. “It hurts.”
She leaned a hip on the granite countertop as close to him as she dared and crossed her arms over her still-unsettled insides. “Why don’t you take a painkiller and rest.”
“Because I’m not ninety and waiting around to die,” he said shortly, then frowned. “Sorry, I don’t mean to snap.”
The line between his eyebrows concerned her and she regretted not encouraging him to talk to her while they’d been in the car. Her own uncertainties weren’t an excuse to be selfish. “It’s okay. You’ve had a difficult day.”
His gaze latched on to hers and he surveyed her with a focused, hooded expression that pulled at something deep in her core. In or out of the ring—didn’t matter. He exuded a primal energy that she couldn’t stop herself from reacting to, and it was as frightening as it was thrilling.
The way Antonio made her feel had nothing to do with the safe, nebulous fantasy she’d carried around in her heart for years. That, she understood. The raw, ferocious draw between them, she didn’t.
“Difficult?” he repeated. “Really? What gives you that impression?”
“Uh...because you’re snapping at me?” When the corners of his mouth lifted, she smiled involuntarily in return. “It couldn’t have been easy to get into the ring today in front of all your colleagues. How long has it been since you last went a round?”
“A couple of weeks. I trained six hours a day in Indonesia over the past few months. It was part of my rehabilitation.”
“Oh, you never mentioned that.” And why would he? She wasn’t his confidante. But she’d kind of hoped he saw her in that role, as someone he could turn to, who would be there for him in a confusing world.
“It wasn’t worth mentioning.” A smile still played with his lips and she couldn’t tear her gaze from his mouth as he talked. “Indonesia was about survival. Only. I fight—then and now—because I have to.”
The confessions of his deepest self were as affecting as watching him fight had been. She wanted more but was afraid of what it might mean to get it. “I remember you said you needed to get in the ring to blow off frustration. Did it work?”
“Partially,” he allowed. “I need a more skilled partner.”
“Yes, even I could see that Rodrigo was outmatched.”
A blanket of intimacy settled around them as a full, genuine smile bloomed on his face, and she reveled in it.
Brigitte bustled into the kitchen at that moment, shattering the mood. “Oh, you’re back. Grand. Do you want to spend time with the babies before dinner?”
Taking a guilty step backward, Caitlyn tore her gaze from Antonio to focus on the au pair. “Um, yes. Of course.”
She always played with the babies before dinner while Brigitte helped the chef, Francesco, put the children’s meal together. What was wrong with Caitlyn that she hadn’t noticed the time? Well, duh—Antonio was what was wrong with her.
“They’re in their cribs waiting for you,” Brigitte said sunnily and went to the fridge to pull out covered bowls of premashed fruit and veggies.
“Come with me.” Caitlyn put a hand on Antonio’s arm before she thought better of it. Heat prickled her palm and she snatched it back. “It’ll be fun. Low pressure.”
