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He wanted his name on her lips, he wanted her to know who was pleasuring her and why. He wanted Jenna to see this as much more than a quick release.
When he slid one finger over her center, her fingertips curled into his skin. Mac was barely hanging on by a thread because he couldn’t wait to see her come undone. But Jenna was worth the wait.
As he moved his hand, she rocked her hips, never taking her eyes off him. There was something so intimate, so primal about watching her. He didn’t think this much with other women, didn’t analyze every detail. But he didn’t want to mess up a single thing with Jenna.
Mac gripped her waist as his hand moved faster. Her body kept up with his rhythm and Mac watched as a pink tint crept over her face. A sheen of sweat covered her forehead and nose, but she never once took her eyes off him.
Her body jerked. “Mac, I’m—”
“Do it,” he demanded.
When she tightened around him, his name slid off her lips like a whispered promise. Her eyes widened as if she wasn’t expecting the onslaught. Mac held her close and kept pleasuring her until her body went lax.
Wrapping both hands around her waist, he pulled her against his chest. Her heartbeat seemed to be just as frantic as his own.
The sound of the rushing water, the occasional bird chirping and Jenna’s panting were all music to his ears. Nothing else mattered but this moment, this woman. Words eluded him. Honestly, if he opened his mouth right now, he didn’t know what he’d say. He was aching to be with her, but he wouldn’t put her in that position. Beyond that, he wanted to say something sweet, something romantic...but that wasn’t them. They weren’t here for romance and he sure as hell didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.
Jenna’s hand slid over his board shorts, heading toward the one spot he needed her most. But he pulled away.
“No.”
Jerking back, her brows drew in as she searched his face. “Why?”
Mac clenched his teeth. “This isn’t about me or even us. This was all for you.”
A slight grin tipped one corner of her mouth. “Hardly seems fair.”
Taking her hands in his, he kissed her fingertips and placed her palms flat on his chest. “I don’t want you to think you’re like other women. This wasn’t about sex, Jenna. I need you to know that.”
She stared at him for a moment without saying a word. “I don’t know what to think,” she finally said. “You don’t want anything in return?”
With a painful laugh, Mac shook his head. “You already know the answer to that, but you deserve more and I never want you to think that you’re in a group with any other woman I’ve been with. You’re completely different. I’ve never...”
Damn it. He didn’t plan on confessing his doubts. He wanted to pleasure her, enjoy a little swim, have a few laughs and fly back to their bungalow. Why did this have to be so difficult?
“You’ve never what?” she prompted, moving closer to wrap her arms around his neck.
Swallowing any fear of opening up to her, Mac stated, “I’ve never just given without expecting something in return. I’ve never wanted to. A relationship has never been in the future for me so I always make sure to...”
Mercy. The more his thoughts started taking a stroll out of his mouth, the more he sounded like a jerk.
“I’ve been a bastard,” he confessed, guilt slamming into his chest and squeezing like a vice. “I purposely find women who only want one thing and then I move on. I never set out to be that way, Jenna, and I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
Mac dropped his head because the last thing he wanted was for Jenna to see him vulnerable or broken. Damn it, he hadn’t even known how much this hurt him until he started saying the words out loud. He’d used his body in an attempt to ignore all the anxiety and fear that came with relationships. And maybe he hadn’t even noticed until right now.
“You’re telling me because you care.” She tipped his chin up and he was rewarded with a megawatt smile that told him she completely understood and wasn’t judging. “You’re telling me because you value our friendship and you don’t want to hurt me. And I never thought you were a bastard.”
Mac reached up and framed her face. With her lush wet body plastered against his, he never wanted to leave this place, either. Why couldn’t they just run away and be—
Wait. What the hell was he thinking? Run away? As in, together? He didn’t have time or the emotional stability to attempt anything like a relationship and he sure as hell wouldn’t make Jenna his guinea pig.
