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"Oh no, Meat. Not this time. " She hooked a claw into his nostril. "Shall I drive it into your brain? That would be quickest, but I don't want quick. I've waited so long for this. "
She released the pressure on his balls, and to his horror, he realized that he was still hard. She started rubbing his erection, pushing the claw deeper into his nose to hold him steady. "I know, I know - when you come, I'll put it in your ear and yank. I've taken off a half a man's head that way. You'll like it. You're lucky, if Nemain had been sent you'd be dead already. "
"Bitch," Charlie managed to say.
She was stroking him harder and he was cursing his body for betraying him this way. He tried to pull away and her leg wrapped behind him crushed the breath out of him. "No, you come, then I'll kill you. "
She pulled the claw from his nose and put it next to his ear. "Don't make me leave unsatisfied, Meat," she said, but in that instant her claw caught the side of his scalp and he hit her as hard as he could in the ribs with both of his fists.
"You fuckface!" she shrieked. She let her leg fall; yanked him aside by his penis, and reared back for a full slash of her claw
s to his head. Charlie tried to raise his forearm to take the blow, but then there was an explosion and a piece of her shoulder splattered on the wall, spinning her around.
Charlie felt her release his penis, and he threw himself across the alley. She rebounded off the wall with both claws aimed at his face. There was another explosion and she was knocked back again. This time she came up facing the street, and before she could brace to leap, two more shots hit her in the chest and she screeched, the sound like a thousand angry ravens set afire.
Five more quick shots and she was danced backward by the impacts; even as she went she was changing, her arms getting wider, her shoulders smoothing. Two more shots, and the next screech wasn't even remotely human, but that of a huge raven. She rose into the night sky trailing feathers and spattering a liquid that might have been blood, except that it was black.
Charlie climbed to his feet and staggered out of the alley to where Inspector Alphonse Rivera was still in shooting stance, holding a 9 mm Beretta aimed at the dark sky.
"Do I even want to know what the fuck that was?" Rivera said.
"Probably not," Charlie said.
"Tie your coat around your waist," said the cop.
Charlie looked down and saw that the front of his jeans had been shredded as if by razors.
"Thanks," Charlie said.
"You know," Rivera said, "this could have all been avoided if you'd just taken the happy ending like everybody else. "
Chapter 17
17
WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?
The next morning, Jane's girlfriend Cassie heard someone in the hall and opened the door. Charlie stood there, covered in blood, black goo, and smelling of sandalwood and almond oil; he had a cut over his ear, blood crusted in his nose, the front of his pants were in shreds, and there were tiny black feathers stuck to him everywhere.
"Why, Charlie," she said, somewhat surprised, "it appears that I underestimated you. When you decide to get your freak on, you do not mess around. "
"Shower," Charlie said.
"Daddy!" Sophie called from her bedroom. She came running out with arms thrown wide, followed by two giant dogs and a lesbian aunt in Brooks Brothers. Halfway across the living room she saw her father, turned, and went squealing out of the room in terror.
Jane pulled up by the couch and stared. "Jesus, Chuck, what'd you do, try to fuck a leopard?"
"Something like that," Charlie said. He stumbled by her and went through his bedroom to the master bath.
Jane looked at Cassandra, who was trying to keep her smile from breaking into laughter. "You wanted him to get out more. "
"You tell him about Mom?" Jane said.
"Thought that news should come from you," said Cassandra.
Well, guns suck, I can tell you that," said Babd, the most recent of the three death divas to make an appearance Above. "Sure, they look great from down here, but up close - noisy, impersonal - give me a battle-ax or a cudgel any day. "
"I like to cudgel," said Macha, who had her claws up inside Madison McKerny's severed head and was working the mouth like a hand puppet.
