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“Do you have a minute?” His voice was hard, clipped, impersonal. She could have been anyone.
And maybe that was the punishment. She was just anyone.
“Yes. Gabby’s already in bed asleep.”
Silence stretched across the line, a silence where Sam wanted words, where she wanted warmth, and more than anything, she wanted comfort.
Tell me it’s going to be okay.
Tell me you still love me.
Tell me we can make this work, because I want this to work.
“Do you have a lawyer?” he asked.
“A lawyer?”
“To represent you.”
Sam drew her knees up against her, wrapped an arm around her knees, hugging them close. “Do I need one?”
“You should. It’s smart. That way you’re protected. You’ll have someone looking after your best interest.”
And I thought that would be you. I thought you’d be looking after my best interests for years to come.
“If you need some names—”
“You’re going to help me get a lawyer for our divorce?”
He hesitated for a fraction of a second, and his silence was even colder than his voice. “I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you.”
A huge lump filled her throat making it almost impossible to breathe right much less speak. “You’ve never taken advantage of me before. I wouldn’t think you’d take advantage of me now.”
“When it’s over, Sam, it’s over.”
“I don’t understand what that’s supposed to mean.”
“It means if you want something, get it now.”
Get it? Get what? “And just what do you think I want to get?”
“Your piece of the pie.”
My God, the expression sounded absolutely horrible coming from his mouth, especially in light of what they were discussing now. “I have never cared about your money! You know that, Cristiano.”
“You deserve some security, Sam, get it. I’ll see that my assistant forwards the referrals. They’re all names of people you could trust—”
“Cristiano,” she spoke urgently, unable to keep from interrupting, panic and fear, hurt and disbelief tumbling one over the other inside her. Their first meeting had come from nowhere, sudden, explosive. She couldn’t bear to think their end would be the same. “Does it have to be this way?”
More silence stretched across the phone line. “I promised I would always look after you, the way you looked after Gabriela.”
Sam couldn’t completely stifle her cry despite covering her nose and mouth so he couldn’t hear. The tears were falling, great tears that couldn’t be stopped. “I’m sorry.” Her voice shook and she wiped at her nose. “Cristiano, I’m so sorry.”
“I am, too.” Yet his voice was as dead as dead could be. “You’ll keep the villa, and the Monte Carlo penthouse. Twenty thousand a month maintenance. Twenty thousand child support. Does that sound fair?”
No, she wanted to cry. No, it sounds lousy. I don’t want your money. I don’t want your home. I just want you.
“You’ll receive the first set of papers by the end of the week. Have your lawyer read them over and then get back to me.” He paused again, and the silence stretched. “Any questions?”
“No.”
“Sam, I don’t want to drag this out. It’ll only hurt and confuse Gabriela.”
Fist pressed to her heart, she told herself to just get through the rest of the call. Just make it to the end and then get off the phone. You can cry all you want then. “I understand.”
“I don’t want this in the news, either—”
“I’d never go to them.”
“Good. I guess that’s it then.”
He must have said goodbye because suddenly there was a click and he was no longer there, no longer on the line.
Slowly Sam put the phone back down and even more slowly she stretched out on her stomach on the bed, burying her face in the crook of her arm.
She used to panic, thinking she couldn’t bear to lose him, couldn’t contemplate life without him.
And she had lost him.
But he wasn’t dying. He was divorcing her.
Which in some ways was so much worse because it’s not as if they didn’t have other options, it’s not as if they couldn’t have found a way to work through their differences. Especially as there had been so much good between them, so much good worth saving.
