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“You really will love my baby?” she whispered, face tipped up to his.
“Yes,” he answered, smoothing her hair back from her face. “I will be a good father. I had a great father. He taught me what love is.”
Emmeline’s eyes felt heavy but she wouldn’t let herself fall asleep. She wanted to look at Makin.
She didn’t know how he’d done it, but she’d fallen for him, fallen hard and fast.
She loved him. But she didn’t trust love. In fact, loving him made everything worse.
Because now he had the power to hurt her. Now he could break her heart.
And maybe he did want her, but Emmeline knew that sexual desire waned, and she feared that when the newness of their coupling wore off, he’d lose interest.
He’d go. If not physically, then emotionally. And that would drive her mad. She’d feel like desperate Emmeline again, the girl who couldn’t ever get enough love. And Emmeline hated being needy. She’d hated that she wanted so much more than her parents could give. And the truth was, she already wanted more from Makin. Sex wasn’t enough. She couldn’t just be his woman in bed when he needed release. She wanted his heart.
Fighting tears, Emmeline leaned forward and gently touched her lips to his.
If only she were different.
If only she were someone stronger. Calmer, tougher, someone less brittle. Someone like Hannah. Maybe then she could trust. Maybe then she could believe there was something good about her, something someone could love.
But she wasn’t Hannah. Regretfully, she wasn’t anything like Hannah.
* * *
Emmeline’s morning walk felt like a death march. She walked in circles on the beach, arms wrapped around her waist as she faced the truth.
She couldn’t do this anymore. Couldn’t remain in this paradise and swim and play and make love to Makin as if this was really a honeymoon.
This was no honeymoon. It was hell. She was living in hell and it was her fault.
She’d fallen in love with Makin. She wasn’t supposed to fall in love. She was supposed to have been smart, strong, safe.
Instead, she loved him and needed him, and the depth of her emotions terrified her. They were too much.
If only she hadn’t fallen in love with him then maybe she could have played the game … floated through a marriage of convenience with dignity and grace. But there was nothing dignified about what she was feeling.
She felt consumed by fear, consumed by need and pain. There was no way Makin could ever love someone like her … someone so fearful and broken … someone so damaged.
He’d soon discover just how much she needed him and it would overwhelm him. Her needs overwhelmed everyone.
Better to leave now while she could. There was no way she was strong enough for a prolonged goodbye. Better to do it quickly and cleanly, one hard cut today, a total break, and then move on.
Emmeline exhaled in a quick rush, knowing she was kidding herself. It wouldn’t be a clean break. It’d be brutal, but she’d have to be brutal with Makin to make him leave.
She inhaled sharply, her heart hurting, burning, as she pictured him walking away.
He’d be okay, she told herself, shoving a hand across her mouth to stifle a cry. He’d be fine. He was tough. Strong. He’d survive without her. She was the one who might not make it without him.
Makin was standing on the upper terrace, staring out over the sea, when she returned from her morning walk.
He didn’t look at her as she climbed the steps and Emmeline knew immediately something was wrong. He leaned against the wall, his gaze fixed on the ocean, the morning breeze ruffling his dark hair.
“Nice walk?” he asked casually.
“Yes.”
“You’re okay?” he persisted.
She tugged a wild tendril away from her eyes. “Yes. Why?”
“I thought I heard you crying while you were walking below.”
A lump rose to her throat. She had been crying, but she didn’t want him to know. “No.”
“I could have sworn it was you.”
The lump grew bigger. Emmeline’s mouth quivered and she bit ruthlessly into her bottom lip. “It was the wind.”
He finally looked at her. His gaze shuttered, expression cool. “I can still hear it in your voice.”
She forced a smile, closed the distance between them and kissed his shoulder. He was so tall, so powerful, and completely addictive. “You’re imagining things,” she said lightly, knowing that soon she’d tell him it was over. Sometime in the next hour or two everything would change forever. “I’m going to go shower and dress. Have you had breakfast already?”
“No.”
“Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be right back.”
