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But it was a spell he had to break. Sooner than later.
And so he ran harder, ran faster, leaving the track to do tortuous wind sprints down the center of the field, again and again, pushing himself for an hour, running until his legs shook, and his heart pounded and he couldn’t catch his breath.
Finally, finally his mind was calm. His thoughts were quiet. Yes, his chest still ached, but now it was due to exhaustion not emotion. And he could handle that.
In the Queen’s Chambers, Hannah paced the sitting room for a half hour after he left her, in case he should change his mind and return. He didn’t.
After thirty minutes she went to his rooms but he wasn’t there, either. She returned to her room, sank onto the small pink silk couch and picked up one of the French fashion magazines Lady Andrea had bought but she couldn’t read, or even look at the pictures.
She wanted to fix things with Zale, make amends somehow, but he didn’t return to their rooms or summon her, and the afternoon slipped away and then evening came and the maids and footmen slipped in and out of rooms turning on lamps and building fires.
Numb, Hannah watched Celine build the fire in her sitting room’s hearth with the pink marble surround. She listened to the pop and crackle as the dry kindling caught, and fed the bigger logs until flames danced and licked making the fire bright. But even with the fire’s warmth next to her, Hannah remained chilled.
What if this was her last day here? What if Zale sent her away?
What if he was making plans this very moment to put her on a plane?
Her stomach heaved and acid rose up in her throat. She couldn’t leave, not like this. She had to see him. Had to make him understand. Hannah left the sofa even as the thought hit her—
What was she to do to make him understand?
That she’d tricked him, yes, but she’d had good intentions …?
Or that she’d deliberately deceived him because she’d fallen in love with him at first sight?
Hannah sank back down on the sofa cushion knowing she could never confess any of that.
Knowing she could never make any of this okay.
Some things were too bad, too horrible to forgive.
When seven o’clock rolled around and Zale still hadn’t put in an appearance or sent word about dinner, Hannah ate the meal Celine brought for her on one of the silver trolley tables they sent up from the kitchen.
At nine o’clock Celine asked Hannah if she’d like help changing into her gown and robe for bed.
Hannah shook her head. “Not yet,” she answered huskily. “But there’s no need for you to stay. I can change later when I’m ready. I know where everything is.”
“You’re certain, Your Highness?”
Hannah winced at the Highness part, feeling anything but royal. “Very certain. Good night, Celine. Sleep well.”
At ten Hannah had had enough of sitting, waiting, worrying. She had to do something. Take action of some sort. Move.
Walk. Find Zale.
Find Zale. Yes, that’s what she needed to do. Immediately.
Ignoring the uniformed guards posted outside her room and throughout the palace, she went downstairs to the wing that contained his suite of offices—his library and office space, as well as adjoining rooms for secretaries and various assistants. But he wasn’t there. The rooms were dark, the doors locked.
Where else would Zale be at ten o’clock at night?
With his brother maybe?
Hannah returned to the family wing but on reaching Tinny’s suite, she discovered it dark and Mrs. Daum in her nightgown and robe as it was Mrs. Sivka’s night off.
Hannah stood on the grand staircase, confused. A footman approached her. “Is there something you’re looking for, Your Highness?” he asked.
She struggled to hold her smile. “Yes, His Majesty. I seem to have misplaced him.”
The footman appeared truly apologetic. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. I have not seen him, but I can certainly ask and see if someone knows His Majesty’s whereabouts.”
“That would be wonderful. Thank you.”
“And will you be in your rooms, Your Highness?”
“Yes.”
Fifteen minutes later Krek knocked on her door, arriving with the message that His Majesty hadn’t gone out, nor was he with his brother, or in his private gym, but most definitely somewhere in the palace. Just where, no one knew.
It wasn’t until Krek left that Hannah thought she knew where Zale would be. The parapet. Where they’d had lunch today. Hadn’t he said he liked to walk there when he had things on his mind or wanted to be alone?
Hannah took a soft velvet blue cloak from the dressing room and left her room to head downstairs, walking quickly through the now deserted grand rooms and corridors of the palace for the old castle keep.
