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Sayrid grasped her sister’s hand. ‘I tasted victory, Auda, but I lost focus for a single heartbeat and he took advantage of it.’
‘Don’t blame yourself. You always tell Regin to keep his focus until the end of the fight and he never does.’
‘I feel…I feel terrible. I have let you and Regin down,’ Sayrid admitted.
Auda squeezed her hand. ‘You haven’t let anyone down. Get that idea from your head immediately. You have done so much for us. More than we ever thought possible.’
Sayrid swallowed hard. Auda was taking this much better than she had expected. She could have been filled with great wailing and recriminations. They at least would have given her something to fight against.
‘I won’t be a shield maiden any more,’ she whispered into the silence.
‘I can’t see why you wanted to be a warrior in the first place.’ Blodvin gave a distinct sniff. ‘All the blood and gore of the battlefield. How could anyone find it attractive? And sailing one of those ships? My stomach is quite unsettled thinking about it.’
‘I, for one, am very proud of my sister’s accomplishments,’ Auda said. ‘The marriage means I will be able to see you more often. I miss you dreadfully when you are away on your voyages, Say. The hall never feels right without you and your sword arm there to protect me. You will still do that?’
‘Of course.’ Sayrid pressed her lips together and held back the scream. Neither Auda nor Blodvin understood. She liked being a shield maiden. She enjoyed the tactics and the thrill of competing to get the best price for her goods. While battlefields were scary, they were also intensely exciting and she always felt alive on the sea, battling the wind and the currents.
She was no good at woman’s work. She had found her place in the world: being a shield maiden. But with one slight hesitation, all that was gone. She didn’t even have time to mourn her lost life. She had to be married by sundown or see everything she had worked and bled for destroyed. Somehow she was going to carve a bit of her old life back. She wasn’t going to become like Blodvin, content with sewing and batting her eyelashes, she silently promised.
‘I made mistakes today, but it’s not finished,’ she said finally. ‘There will be a way around this problem. I simply need to discover what Hrolf Eymundsson truly wants, get it for him and he’ll depart. Sea kings seldom remain in one place for long. Then we can go back to the way we were.’
‘Any man would be proud to have such a beautiful bride,’ Blodvin said, clapping, but the pucker between her eyebrows told a different story. ‘Quite transformed. Honestly, Sayrid, you would have men breaking down your door long before now if you had worn dresses instead of…what you wore. You have far more curves than I thought.’
Sayrid gave her new sister-in-law one of her severest looks. ‘Any man who breaks down my door will get the sort of reception he deserves—the point of my sword in his belly.’
Blodvin retreated a few steps. ‘I was merely trying to be helpful. My mother always told me to find the good in any situation. But I will admit that I’m struggling here. Sayrid, you’re just so…so obstinate. You don’t want to listen to any of my compliments.’
‘I will take you to the pond so you can see that Blodvin is telling the truth,’ Auda said, grabbing Sayrid’s elbow and restraining her from tearing off the flowers. ‘If you wipe that scowl off, you will look pretty.’
Sayrid forced a smile. ‘Better?’
Blodvin gave a delicate shudder. ‘You should be grateful Hrolf Eymundsson has made it so you won’t have to fight again. You just need to manage your household. You can do that, can’t you?’
‘The pond. Now.’ Sayrid slowly clenched and unclenched her fist. One of the first things she would do when they returned home would be insist that Regin and his new wife move to a hall of their own.
Sayrid concentrated on keeping her head still as the flower crown threatened to slip off. The autumn sunshine warmed her back. Being outside made it easier to breathe, but she still struggled behind the pair who were busy gossiping.
‘Slow down. My body aches and these flowers won’t stay still,’ Sayrid called out. ‘I only hope Hrolf is suffering as much as I am.’
‘No, you don’t. You want him up to tonight’s task.’ Blodvin gave a little laugh which bordered on the dirty.
‘I suspect he will be good in bed,’ Auda added, with a speculative gleam in her eye. ‘His torso was impossible to miss before the fight. He has huge shoulders and feet. You know what they say about feet…’
