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Ash expelled a breath. Five months after he’d departed. Two months after he was supposed to have returned.
He’d been in the dungeon then, waiting for help which never would come. Nothing he could have done. The thought failed to ease his sense of guilt. She must have known before he’d left. Had she kept the news from him?
‘I want to see him. Immediately! Take me to him.’
Kara opened the door, her shoulders quivered like a nervous horse, scenting battle. ‘Shall we discuss this inside, rather than on the street for all to hear?’
Ash entered the dimly lit room. He would never have recognised it. Instead of the gloomy tapestries of battles which had frightened him as a little boy, the walls were hung with the most fantastical beasts. The weaving loom was set before the small hearth rather than being banished to the back room. The house which he remembered as a cold and austere place had a definite air of warmth. Things had changed for the better here, but he dreaded to think about Jaarlshiem. The farm had suffered when his mother had looked after it.
‘Is he here?’ he asked as Kara stood quietly just inside the doorway. ‘I want to see him. Now. Wake him up! His father is home!’
‘He is at Jaarlshiem with Gudrun, your old nurse. She is Rurik’s nurse now.’
‘At Jaarlshiem, rather than Sand for your wedding. Interesting.’ Ash tilted his head to one side and tried to quell the prickle of anxiety. Kara had left their son with his old nurse, rather than bringing him to celebrate the wedding. ‘Are you ashamed of him?’
Her fists slammed together. ‘Never! I could never be ashamed of Rurik. How dare you suggest such a thing!’
‘Did your Valdar request it?’ He balanced on the balls of his feet, ready to storm out and challenge Valdar. Silently he thanked the gods he’d arrived back in time to prevent anything from happening to his son. Kara would have to see that she needed to stay with him for Rurik’s sake.
‘Valdar and Rurik are friends. They enjoy spending time together.’ Her lashes slid over her eyes, hiding her expression. ‘It was one of the deciding factors in why I consented to the marriage. Valdar is very good with Rurik. He seems to steady him.’
Disappointment struck Ash’s heart. Of course Valdar would be. ‘But he was the one against it,’ he tried.
‘Valdar would have been happy to have Rurik at the wedding. I decided it was for the best for him to remain at Jaarlshiem.’
Ash clung on to his temper. Barely. Kara was keeping something from him. There was a reason she had kept their son from Sand and the wedding. Did she fear his uncle? Bile rose in his throat.
‘Is he a halfwit?’ he asked, preparing for the worst.
Her shoulders relaxed slightly and the first genuine smile crossed her face, utterly transforming it. If he had thought her beautiful before, now she was dazzling. The pride she had in their son was clear. ‘He has more wits than men twice his age. He notices everything, Ash. Always asking questions. His mischief rivals yours, but Gudrun’s eyes are sharp as ever.’
‘He’ll come to no harm now that I’ve returned,’ Ash declared, making a silent vow. His son wouldn’t be brought up to fear in the way he had been.
The smile faded as quickly as it had come. ‘That puts my mind to rest no end.’
‘I look after my own, Kara.’ A prickle went down his back. How great was his sin? ‘Did you know you were pregnant when I went?’ he asked with a sudden uncomfortable thought. Had Kara kept the pregnancy from him, knowing how much he wanted to go on this adventure? He could remember the way her eyes had lit up when he told her about the ship and the proposed timing of the voyage. There had been no shadows. If anything, she’d encouraged him to go and prove that he was a great warrior.
Ash shifted uncomfortably. The boy he had been would never have questioned her closely. He had accepted her word because it had made it easier to chase his dreams.
‘Would that have stopped you?’
Ash closed his eyes. The boy he once was had been desperate to prove himself a great warrior like his father. He had wanted the adventure. He had assumed he’d be back for Jul-tide. He’d never considered failure. Every new obstacle he faced he’d always conquered.
Now he knew how important children were. Serving at the Viken court, he had seen warriors brought to their knees by the birth of their children. He had seen the grief his best friend Ottar went through when his wife died and then a few weeks later, the baby girl had breathed her last. Ottar had eased his pain in drink and fighting. He’d died in the street after he’d picked an argument with the wrong warrior, a berserker named Bjorn. It was his death that had redoubled Ash’s efforts to get home and make something of his life.
