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‘You can have your father’s chamber. It is only right and fitting. I will move my things to Rurik’s bedchamber. We shared it before your father died.’
His eyes became shadowed. ‘You are determined to keep to the letter of our agreement.’
She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Nothing has happened to alter it.’
‘I intend to honour the agreement.’ He put a hand on her shoulder. ‘You may have my father’s chamber. I’ve no wish to occupy it. Too many memories of being dragged there by my ear in trouble for one thing or another. My old cupboard bed will be sufficient if it still exists. If not, I will find a spot to rest. Sometimes I find it difficult to sleep in an enclosed place.’
‘It does.’
‘It will do for now. Remember, Kara. I’m here. I want to make this marriage work.’
Kara’s stomach clenched. How many times had she wanted him to be there and he wasn’t? How many times had she looked up at the painted ceiling and imagined his arms about her? ‘I will let you know when I intend to take you up on the invitation.’
He gave a sudden bark of laughter, rich and flowing over like honey.
‘What is so funny about that?’ she asked, trying to sound fierce.
His smile transformed his face, reminding her of the old Ash. Younger and more carefree. Her breath caught as she realised that she had missed that smile more than she wanted to admit. ‘You said when, not if. Progress. Little by little.’
‘If, I meant if.’ She rolled her eyes at her stupidity. Ash always twisted words to suit his purpose. ‘I dislike being teased. Always.’
He sobered instantly and the carefree Ash vanished from his face.
‘Be honest, Kara—’ his hooded look penetrated deep into the hidden spaces of her soul ‘—there were times you enjoyed teasing very much. Surely you haven’t forgotten the kissing games we used play?’
‘I...I...’ She knew precisely what he meant. During their short marriage, he had used to tease her body into pleasure, leaving her trembling on the brink. She was surprised that Ash remembered. She squashed the thought. He had not been enthralled enough to return quickly.
She glanced over her shoulder. ‘Your men are stirring. Morning comes. We need to go.’
‘You’re far prettier when your cheeks have colour.’ He cupped his fingers around her cheek. His breath fanned hers. ‘Has your guard dog Valdar ever dared to tease you?’
‘That is a personal question!’ she said, turning her face away. She should have known. It was not about her, but fighting over her like a bone. She should lie or at least she should imply a greater intimacy, but she knew it was impossible. Valdar could not be a shield between them. It wasn’t fair to use him in that way.
‘Has he?’ he demanded, capturing her chin. His mouth loomed above hers.
Her heart pounded in her ears. Say the wrong thing and he’d kiss her. A punishing kiss. What was worse was that a great part of her wanted to melt into it and see if it was like the kisses in her dream.
‘He treats me with respect,’ she said finally, turning her face from temptation. ‘Valdar helped me immeasurably after your father died. But he is honourable. He wanted to wait for our wedding night.’
The tension went out of Ash’s stance. He let her go. Kara stumbled backwards.
‘You do not know how glad that makes my heart to learn what I always suspected—Valdar Nerison failed to capitalise on his opportunities. If he had, we would be having a very different conversation.’
Kara pressed her hand to her temple. He’d deliberately misunderstood. ‘Valdar was being honourable. He waited because...because I asked him to.’
Ash held out his hands. ‘Hush. It’s in the past. Know what I did, I did in order to return here with my head held high. I want to be the sort of husband you wanted and not a failure.’
‘Do you know the sort of husband I require?’
‘I like to think I do. I aim to be that man.’ He put his hand on her shoulder. ‘We are going to meet our son. To be a family together. Properly. I came home in part because I wanted a family.’
When she was a girl, she had thought she wanted a hero for a husband, but it wasn’t what she really wanted. Kara’s stomach turned over. She wanted to have a man to share the burden of running Jaarlshiem with, rather than being forced to be the sole person making soul-altering decisions. She wanted a husband who would welcome his children into the world and who would be there when trouble struck. She wanted someone who would be her life’s partner, not her master.
