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Kit regarded the woman who gave him life and knew that he wanted her in his life. He wanted her to play a part for the rest of her life. They both had wasted so many years.
‘Where are those letters you wrote, Mother? I want to read them.’
* * *
Hattie sat in her drawing room, stroking Moth’s head, trying to make sense of this morning. She had paused on the stairs, ready to sweep in if any pieces needed picking up, but all she had heard was the sound of silence and the click of a door.
Her heart squeezed. She should be pleased that he came back for his mother, but it caused problems. The desire she felt for him remained strong, but whatever happened, she was not going to go back to where they were before. That much had ended. She had more respect for herself.
‘Sir Christopher Foxton for you, ma’am.’ Mrs Hampstead gave a loud sniff.
Hattie stood up, determined to be gracious, rather than resentful. She held out her hand and ignored the way Moth ran immediately to him. ‘Sir Christopher. How good of you to call.’
‘Shall I stay, ma’am?’ Mrs Hampstead asked, giving Kit a fierce glare.
‘I believe I can handle Sir Christopher.’
‘Very well, ma’am.’ Mrs Hampstead picked Moth up and tucked her under her arm.
The silence when she left threatened to suffocate Hattie. She gulped a breath of air.
‘Harriet.’ Kit came forwards, his arms open wide as if he was going to enfold her in his embrace.
Hattie held up her hand and he stopped immediately. Standing close enough to touch if she reached out her hand. Hattie kept her arm rigidly at her side. ‘You wished to see me, Sir Christopher?’
‘You are angry with me. You need to know that I did not want it to be this way. I fought against it. This thing, this connection between us, was not supposed to happen. I conduct my affairs by strict rules. Always and without exception. But with you, I find myself breaking them.’ He shook his head. ‘Before you become angry, think about what this is doing to me. What agony it has been.’
‘I have every right to be angry.’ She swallowed hard and struggled to maintain control. The last thing she was going to do was to give him the satisfaction of seeing how deeply he affected her. She hated confrontations, but this time she had to do it. ‘You were appalling. I never asked you to fight against anything.’
‘I listened to you, Hattie.’ He gave one of his smiles that had the power to turn her insides to mush. ‘You see. I did as you asked. I met my mother. Surely that means something.’
She took a steadying breath. ‘I’m supposed to be impressed with this sacrifice of yours?’
He tilted his head. ‘You’re not?’
‘I am busily wondering what sort of game you are playing. You’ve suffered some minor inconveniences and now expect the world to bow down in gratitude.’
‘I’m not playing any game. Your words reached me deep inside.’ He thumped his fist against his chest. ‘You made me realise the sort of man I wanted to be. Last night, I wandered the fells, unable to rest. I thought a lot about how my life was going and what I wanted from it. I most definitely didn’t want my mother to die without me having taken the opportunity to meet her properly. I intend to do that. I am staying.’
‘Good.’ Hattie crossed her arms. What did he want—a medal for doing the right thing? ‘I am sure your mother will be pleased to have you here.’
‘Harriet, I’m staying. I want things to continue between us.’ He put his hands on her shoulders.
Her heart thudded. He called her Harriet again.
‘Are you seriously suggesting that everything is forgotten? That we go back to what we had before?’ Hattie crossed her arms. ‘Summer is over, Sir Christopher.’
Kit watched her much as a cat watched a mouse. ‘And your objection is?’
‘What we had was destroyed. I have no wish to go back to that.’
‘What do you want from me, Harriet?’ His voice was soft and insistent. ‘Tell me and it shall be yours. I’ll even marry you if it will make you happy.’
Hattie knew if he touched her again, she’d melt. And nothing would be solved. Kit might only want a physical relationship, but she wanted more. She deserved more.
‘I don’t want anything from you, Sir Christopher.’ She hugged her arms about her waist. ‘I explained why we must part. My reasoning has not changed. We agreed the rules when our affair began.’
‘Rules are made to be broken.’
