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‘What things?’ She looked suspiciously up at him. ‘We said everything we needed to that day. I refused your offer. You don’t really want to marry me. You don’t want to marry at all.’
‘I was wrong about many things, Harriet.’
‘But...’ Her voice trailed away at his intense look.
‘Have you examined this ring?’ he asked, holding out a small gold ring with an inlaid garnet. ‘Can you at least do that before you dismiss me out of hand?’
‘Please...’ Hattie knew her heart was breaking and she wasn’t sure how long her composure would remain. She could not take another half-hearted proposal. ‘Please, Kit, don’t make this harder for the both of us. You made your feelings or lack of them quite clear when you asked me before. Nothing has changed.’
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I’ve gone about this all wrong. I did mean to finish the dance before I gave you the ring.’
She shrugged, but inside she died a little. She owed him an explanation of why they could never marry, even if she was utterly cast out from society and could no longer visit her family. ‘I refuse to marry because society dictates, Kit. I won’t have a loveless marriage. I made the mistake of enduring one once and I have no intention of ever entering such a thing again. What happened was not your fault. I take full responsibility for my folly. You are absolved of all blame. I’ve no idea what Stephanie has been saying, but you must ignore her.’
‘I love you, Harriet.’
‘What?’ Her heart did odd little flips. She had to have heard wrong. This was Sir Christopher Foxton who was destined never to love.
‘I love you with all my heart and soul.’ He went down on one knee. ‘Will you please make me the happiest man on earth and marry me? Please, Harriet, say yes. Say you find a small corner of your heart for me. Marry me and let me prove to you that my love is enough for the both of us. You won’t have a loveless marriage with me, I promise.’
‘You love me?’ she asked, to control the hammering of her heart. She had never expected Kit to say those words. In her wildest imaginings she thought perhaps he might care for her, but declare his love in this fashion!
‘With all my heart.’ He took her hand. ‘I did it all wrong when I made my first proposal. I should have started with the obvious facts.’
‘What are the obvious facts?’ Hattie braced herself for another onslaught of how he didn’t want to love her and was fighting against it.
‘I love you and I have no desire to live anywhere in the world without you. You make me glad that I am alive. You make me want to greet the world with a smile, instead of hiding away from it. It is why I want to marry you, so I can know that we will be together for the rest of our lives. And I want everyone else in the world to know that I have made that commitment to you.’
‘And I am supposed to believe you were going say that?’ Hattie hated the way she could not allow herself to believe, but a large part of her was afraid to believe. She had to know that this wasn’t some great sacrifice on his part which he’d regret, not tomorrow or the next day but some day in the not-too-distant future.
‘Look at the ring. I had it engraved. After what we have been through, I didn’t want to take any chances of you failing to believe my sincerity. I intend to devote my life to you. It is why I arranged Rupert and Miss Parteger’s engagement. I wanted to show you that I am capable and reliable.’
He placed the ring in the palm of her hand. She regarded the engraving on the inside. H., the keeper of my heart, K.
‘You do love me,’ she whispered finally.
‘And you? You told me that you cared for me that night after the lecture, but when I proposed you refused. Tell me what I can do to make you care for me again.’ He touched her cheek with gentle fingers. ‘Have I truly destroyed all feelings you might have had for me? Tell me it isn’t too late. I want to be the man you deserve to love. What are you afraid of? Tell me so I know how to reassure you.’
The naked longing in Kit’s voice resounded throughout the small room. He stood there, not moving towards her, but she could sense how much he wanted to gather her in his arms.
She knew then that he’d stayed in Northumberland not for his mother, but to show her that he could try to be the man she deserved. It was the little things that counted—the way he’d shown responsibility over his mother, how he was restoring the Lodge and how he’d engineered a solution for Mr Hook and Livvy that allowed them the chance to grow up before making that ultimate commitment. And she loved him all the more for it. She had been utterly blind and she had nearly thrown away the single most-important person in her life.
