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‘Yes. I value a man who keeps his word. Once my path is chosen I do not deviate.’
‘Even if a better way appears?’
He shook his head. ‘There has never been a need. I find it important to keep my main goal in sight at all times.’
‘And what is that?’
He gestured about him. ‘To have my own patch of earth where I can sow and farm without fear. Here I will put down my roots. The wanderer has found a place to lay his head.’
‘And is that all?’
He sighed. ‘Where is this conversation leading, Edith? If you must know, I intend eventually to send to Norway for a bride. I told Halfdan I would do so once I had land when I entered his service.’
Her stomach churned. ‘Then you have an intended?’
‘In a manner of speaking. There is a woman with whom I had an understanding. Her father gave me leave to ask if I ever became a jaarl. I suspect he never believed it would happen, but everyone knew my intention.’
Everyone but her. The small fantasy that he might come to love her and want to marry her died. She hadn’t even realised that she had had that dream until it was gone. She raised her chin and refused to show how much his words hurt her. ‘And when were you planning on telling me?’
‘Why should I? It has nothing to do with us.’
Edith clenched her hands together so tightly that her knuckles went white. ‘You should have said something. It would have made a difference.’
‘Why?’ He seemed genuinely astonished.
‘Because I could never do to another woman what was done to me.’ Edith fought against the urge to weep. She never cried. ‘That’s why.’
‘I intend to look after you. I never shirk my responsibilities.’ He frowned. ‘I know what it is like to be the son of a concubine.’
Each word tore into her soul. She had been living in some sort of dream. She had thought after the passionate night that he was bound to ask her to marry him. It was the most sensible solution. Now she discovered that she was someone of no consequence to him, a warm body in the night. His heart already belonged to someone else. It shouldn’t bother her but it did. Once in her life, she wanted to be loved.
That she even had feelings for him was such a new and raw thing to her. It wasn’t love, she told herself. Love was supposed to be comfortable like what her parents had with each other. This was completely unsettling.
‘But you still intend to send for her despite what has passed between us? You intend to treat me like your father treated your mother. Why? To humble me?’
His eyes flashed fire. ‘Do not equate the two.’
‘I see.’ Edith gathered as much dignity about her as she could. She wanted to sink to the ground in despair, but that would only be fuelling his masculine pride.
‘You were not living with some false hope that I would marry you?’
She pressed her lips together, counted to ten and regained control over her temper. She’d been so foolish. ‘I hardly know how to answer that.’
‘I was clear before we began, Edith. You are my concubine for a year. After we are done, I will give you and your baggage train safe passage to wherever you want to go. I gave in to your sensibilities and wooed you.’
‘And men don’t marry such women?’ The words escaped from her lips before she had a chance to think.
‘You are being impossible, Edith. First you question me closely about what I want from life and then you react badly when I tell you. If you don’t want to know the answer, refrain from asking the question. You should be pleased that I was honest.’
That sort of honesty she had little need of. She’d been living in a fool’s paradise.
‘And you are seeking to dismiss me, like you dismiss a child? What precisely did you have planned?’
‘I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I like to live each day at a time.’
‘But you were going to make the decision soon.’
‘You are being unreasonable.’ He reached for her. ‘It is the shock.’
Edith twisted out of his embrace. A kiss now would make matters worse. She had her pride. ‘Unreasonable? You treated me like a brainless child.’
‘A jaarl has to marry, Edith,’ he said slowly, his accent becoming thicker with each word. ‘That is beyond question. It has to be someone who will enhance his standing. Halfdan must approve the marriage. He wants his earls to marry well. You should hear him on the subject. For Halfdan, the ideal wife is from Norway.’
