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Oda looked at her hands before she answered. “The infant is thin, but the health is good. The infant has a weak neck,” she gestured, “but it’s getting stronger,” Oda added fervently.
Ayla looked more closely at the baby girl, asking permission with a questioning look before removing her swaddling. The infant was more stocky than Durc, closer to the build of Clan babies, but her bones were thinner. She had the same high forehead and general shape to her head, only the brow ridges were much smaller. Her nose was almost petite, but it was clear she would have the prognathous, chinless jaw of the Clan. The female baby’s neck was shorter than Durc’s, but definitely longer than normal for Clan babies. Ayla lifted the girl, automatically supporting her head, and saw the familiar early efforts of the baby to support her own head.
“Her neck will get stronger, Oda. Durc’s was even weaker when he was born, and look at him now.”
“Do you think so?” Oda answered eagerly. “This woman would ask the medicine woman of the first clan to consider this female infant as mate for her male infant,” Oda asked formally.
“I think Ura would make a good mate for Durc, Oda.”
“Then you’ll ask your mate if he will allow it?”
“I have no mate,” Ayla replied.
“Oh. Then your son is unlucky,” Oda gestured with disappointment. “Who will train him if you are not mated?”
“Durc is not unlucky,” Ayla insisted. “Not all babies born to unmated women are unlucky. I live at The Mog-ur’s hearth; he does not hunt, but Brun himself has promised to train my son. He will be a good hunter, and a good provider. He has a hunting totem, too. The Mog-ur said it is the Gray Wolf.”
“It doesn’t matter, an unlucky mate would be better than no mate at all,” Oda motioned with resignation. “I hope you’re right. Our mog-ur has not revealed Ura’s totem yet, but a Gray Wolf is strong enough for any woman’s totem.”
“Except Ayla’s,” Uba interjected. “Her totem is the Cave Lion. She was chosen.”
“How did you ever have a baby?” Oda asked with astonishment. “Mine is the Hamster, but he really fought hard this time. I didn’t have so much trouble with my first daughter.”
“My pregnancy was hard, too. Do you have another daughter? Is she normal?”
“She was. She walks in the next world, now,” Oda motioned sadly.
“Is that why Ura was allowed to live? I’m surprised you were allowed to keep her,” Ayla remarked.
“I didn’t want to keep her, but my mate made me. It’s my punishment,” Oda confessed.
“Your punishment?”
“Yes,” Oda nodded. “I wished for a girl when my mate wanted a boy. It’s just that I loved my first baby so much. When she was killed, I wanted another girl just like her. My mate says Ura is deformed because I had the wrong thoughts when I was pregnant. He says if I had wished for a boy, my baby would have been normal. He made me keep her so everyone would know I am not a good woman. But he didn’t give me away, maybe because no one else would have me.”
“I don’t think you’re such a bad woman, Oda,” Ayla gestured with a look of compassion. “Iza wished for a girl when she was carrying Uba. She told me she asked her totem for a girl every day. How did your first daughter die?”
“She was killed by a man.” Oda flushed with embarrassment. “A man who looked like you, Aayghha, a man of the Others.”
A man of the Others? Ayla thought. A man who looks like me? She felt a chill crawl up her spine and a tingling at the roots of her hair. She noticed Oda’s discomfiture.
“Iza says I was born to the Others, Oda, but I don’t remember anything about them. I am Clan now,” she said encouragingly. “How did it happen?”
“We were on a hunting trip, two other women and me besides the men. Our clan lives north of here, but that time we went farther north than we ever went before. The men left camp early; we stayed to collect wood and dried grass. There were lots of blowflies and we knew we’d have to keep a fire going to get the meat dried. All of a sudden, these men ran into our camp. They wanted to relieve their needs with us, but they didn’t make the signal. If they had made the signal, I would have assumed the position, but they didn’t give me a chance. They just grabbed us and threw us down. They were so rough. They didn’t even let me put my baby down first. The one who grabbed me tore off my wrap and my cloak. My baby fell, but he didn’t notice.
“When he was through,” Oda continued, “another man was going to take me, but one of the other men saw my baby. He picked her up and gave her to me, but she was dead. She hit her head on a rock when she fell. Then the man who found her made many loud words, and they all left. When the hunters came back, we told them, and they took us back to the cave right away. My mate was good to me then; he grieved for my daughter, too. I was so glad when I found out my totem had been defeated again so soon after losing her. I didn’t even have the woman’s curse once; I thought my totem was sorry I lost my baby and decided to let me have another to make up for her. That’s why I thought I might have another girl, but I shouldn’t have wished for a girl.”
“I’m sorry,” Ayla said. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Durc; I almost did once. I’ll talk to The Mog-ur about Ura; I’m sure he will talk to Brun, he’s fond of my son. I think Brun might agree, too. It would be easier than trying to find a woman of our clan to mate with a deformed man.”
“This woman would be grateful to the medicine woman, and I promise to train her well, Aayghha. She will be a good woman, not like her mother. Brun’s clan has the highest status; I think my mate will agree. If he knows there is a place for Ura with Brun’s clan, he might not be so angry with me. He’s always telling me my daughter will be nothing but a burden and never have any status. And when Ura gets older I can tell her she doesn’t have to worry about finding a mate. It can be difficult for a woman if no man wants her,” Oda said.
“I know,” the tall blonde woman replied. “I’ll talk to The Mog-ur as soon as I can.”
After Oda left, Ayla was pensive and preoccupied. Uba sensed her need for quiet and didn’t disturb her. Poor Oda, she was happy, had a good mate and a normal baby. Then those men had to come and spoil everything. Why didn’t they just make the signal? Couldn’t they see Oda had a baby? Those men of the Others, they’re as bad as Broud. Worse. At least Broud would have let her put her baby down first. Men and their needs! Clan men, men of the Others, they’re all alike.
As she mused, her mind kept going back to thoughts of the Others. Men of the Others, men who look like me, who are the Others? Iza said I was born to them, why don’t I remember anything about Others? I can’t even remember what they look like. Where do they live? I wonder, how does a man of the Others look? Ayla remembered the reflection of herself in the still pool near their cave and tried to imagine a man with her face. But when she thought of a man, the
image of Broud came to her mind, and with a flash of insight, the confused jumble of ideas spinning around in her head fell into place.
Men of the Others! Of course! Oda said one of them relieved his needs with her and she didn’t have the curse even once after that. Then she gave birth to Ura, just like Durc was born after Broud relieved his needs with me. That man was of the Others and I was born to them, but Oda and Broud, they’re both Clan. Ura is not deformed any more than Durc is. He’s part me and part Clan, and so is Ura. Or rather, she’s part Oda and part that man who killed her baby. Then Broud did start Durc—with his organ, not the spirit of his totem.
But the other women with Oda didn’t have deformed babies. And as often as men and women do it, if a baby is started every time, there’d be nothing but babies. Maybe Creb is right, too. A woman’s totem has to be defeated; but she doesn’t swallow the totem’s essence, a man puts it inside her with his organ. And then it mixes up with the essence of a woman’s totem. It’s not just men, it’s women, too.
Why did it have to be Broud? I wanted a baby, my Cave Lion knew how much I wanted a baby, but Broud hates me. He hates Durc, too. But who else would have? None of the other men are interested in me, I’m too ugly. Broud only did it because he knew how much I hated it. Did my Cave Lion know Broud’s totem would finally win? His essence must be potent; Oga already has two sons. Brac and Grev must have been started by Broud’s organ, too, like Durc.
Does that mean they’re siblings? Brothers? Like Brun and Creb? Brun must have started Broud inside Ebra, too. Unless it was some other man; it could have been any man. Probably not, though. Men don’t usually give the signal to the leader’s mate, it’s discourteous. And Broud doesn’t like to share Oga. On the mammoth hunt, Crug always used Ovra. Everyone could see his need, and Goov was more considerate. Even Droog did once or twice.
If Brun started Broud, and Broud started Durc, does that mean Durc is part of Brun, too? And Brac and Grev? Brun and Creb are siblings; they were born to the same mother and probably started by the same man. He was a leader, too. Does that mean Durc is part of Creb, too? And what about Iza? She’s a sibling. Ayla shook her head. It’s all too confusing, she thought.
