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She rushed through the Lion Hearth and the Fox Hearth, relieved to find it empty, and added fuel to the fire at the Mammoth Hearth. As she sorted through her medications, she recalled the many times she had applied poultices and plasters, and made painkilling drinks to ease Creb’s aching joints. It was one aspect of her medicine she knew very well.
She waited until Mamut was resting comfortably, sipping a warm tea after she had drawn off and soaked away most of his ancient aches, before she asked any questions. It was soothing for her as well as the old shaman to apply her knowledge, skill, and intelligence in the practice of her craft, and it relieved some of the stress she had been feeling. Yet when she picked up a cup of tea and sat opposite Mamut, she didn’t quite know where to begin.
“Mamut, did you stay long with Clan?” she finally asked.
“Yes, it takes awhile for a bad break to heal, and by then, I wanted to know more, so I stayed until they left for the Clan Gathering.”
“You learn Clan ways?”
“Some of them.”
; “You know about signal?”
“Yes, Ayla, I know about the signal a man gives a woman.” He paused, seeming to consider, then continued, “I will tell you something I have never told anyone else. There was a young woman who helped to take care of me while my arm was mending, and after I was included in a hunting ceremony and hunted with them, she was given to me. I know what the signal is, and what it means. I used the signal, though at first I was not comfortable about it. She was a flathead woman, and not very appealing to me, particularly since I’d heard so many stories about them while I was growing up. But I was young and healthy, and I was expected to behave like a man of the Clan.
“The longer I stayed, the more appealing she became—you have no idea how appealing it can be to have someone waiting on your every need or desire. It wasn’t until later that I discovered she had a mate. She was a second woman, her first mate had died so one of the other hunters took her in, a little reluctantly since she came from a different clan and had no children. When I left, I did not want to leave her behind, but I felt she would be happier with a clan than with me and my people. And I wasn’t sure how I would be welcomed if I returned with a flathead woman. I have often wondered what happened to her.”
Ayla closed her eyes as memories flooded over her. It seemed uncanny to be learning bits and pieces about her clan from this man whom she had met such a short time ago. She fitted his story together with her own knowledge of the history of Brun’s clan.
“She not ever have children, always second woman, but always someone take in. She die in earthquake, before they find me.”
He nodded. He, too, was glad to have an important bit of his past filled in.
“Mamut, Nezzie say Jondalar angry because I share Ranec’s bed. Is true?”
“I think that’s true.”
“But Ranec give me signal! How can Jondalar be angry if Ranec give me signal?”
“Where did Ranec learn the Clan signal?” Mamut asked, surprised.
“Not Clan signal. Signal of the Others. When Jondalar find my valley, and teach me First Rites and Gift of Pleasure from Great Earth Mother Doni, I ask what his signal is? He put mouth on mine, make kiss. Put hand on me, make … feel Pleasure. He say that is how I will know when he want me; he tell me his signal. Ranec give me signal last night. Then he say, I want you. Come to my bed.’ Ranec give me signal. He make command.”
Mamut looked up at the ceiling, and said, “O Mother!” Then he looked back at her. “Ayla, you don’t understand. Ranec certainly did give you a signal that he wanted you, but it wasn’t a command.”
Ayla looked at him with intense puzzlement. “I not understand.”
“No one can command you, Ayla. Your body belongs to you, it’s your choice. You decide what you want to do and who you want to do it with. You can go to any man’s bed you choose, so long as he is willing—and I don’t see much problem there—but you don’t have to share Pleasures with any man you don’t want to, ever.”
She stopped to think about his words. “What if Ranec commands again? He said, wants me again, many times.”
“I don’t doubt that he wants, but he cannot command you. No one can command you, Ayla. Not against your will.”
“Not even man I mate? Not ever?”
“I don’t think you’d remain mated for very long under those circumstances, but no, not even your mate can command you. Your mate does not own you. Only you can decide.”
“Mamut, when Ranec gave me signal, I not have to go?”
“That’s right.” He looked at her frown. “Are you sorry you went to his bed?”
“Sorry?” She shook her head. “No. Not sorry. Ranec is … good. Is not rough … like Broud. Ranec … care for me … make good Pleasures. No. Not sorry about Ranec. Sorry about Jondalar. Sorry Jondalar angry. Ranec make good Pleasures, but Ranec is … not Jondalar.”
20
Ayla turned her head to the side as she leaned into the screaming wind, trying to shield her face from the raw blast of gale-driven snow. Each careful step forward was violently opposed by a force made visible only by the swirling mass of frozen white grit hurled against her. As the angry blizzard raged, she faced the lash of stinging pellets and squinted her eyes open, then turned away and took another few steps. Buffeted by the fierce storm, she looked again. The smooth rounded shape ahead beckoned, and she was relieved finally to touch the solid ivory arch.
